What is “Weighted” Silver?

May 23, 2014 | Julie Hall

For many years, I have been appraising and advising on all kinds of residential contents, but one item has always eluded my imagination. So, I thought I would share it with you in the form of a little “Show and Tell” now that I have a good example.

When people think of sterling silver, they think it has value. They would be correct, but in some cases, the value is not necessarily as great as one might think. Because the spot price of silver is currently down, many people are collecting scrap silver or scrapping family silver pieces for quick cash. This is done by weight only, so families may think that mom’s candlesticks are very heavy and therefore must be worth a fortune!

What most people don’t realize is that many pieces that mom or grandma have are “weighted” sterling. If you look at the base of the sterling candlesticks, footed bowls, or candelabra, you will see a base that is actually filled with cement, a composite of some sort. The sterling silver over that base is actually foil thin. If you turn over the piece, you will see it says “weighted silver.”

This piece was broken and found in the trash.

This is what the weight looks like with top layer of silver removed.

The bottom of the piece, which will often say "Weighted Silver" or in this case, "Reinforced with Cement" — The bottom of the piece, which will often say “Weighted Silver” or in this case, “Reinforced with Cement”

The end product ... Nothing but foil thin pieces of actual sterling silver — The end product … Nothing but foil thin pieces of actual sterling silver

I peeled the actual foil-thin silver off, so you could see the “weight” was not silver at all, but just a lump of resin/cement. By the time you peel off the good silver, it weighs about a third of an ounce (if that), or approximately $6.60 in scrap silver, because the weight was removed from this broken base. If the piece had the top portion, it would have been worth more. I wanted to demonstrate that scrap silver is not that easy to accumulate; you have to know what can be scrapped and what can’t.

I hope you enjoyed this. I never knew what the inside of one of these candlesticks actually looked like!

Julie Hall, The Estate Lady®, is the foremost national expert on personal property in estates, including liquidating, advising, and appraising. http://www.TheEstateLady.com She is also the Director of American Society of Estate Liquidators®, the national educational and resource organization for estate liquidation. http://www.aselonline.com.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

Throwing Money Away Literally

May 16, 2014 | Julie Hall

WHY A SYSTEMATIC APPROACH IS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY WHEN CLEANING OUT AN ESTATE

Recently, I was asked to handle the daunting task of emptying a hoarder’s home. The home owner had passed away in the home. The sole heir, who lived several states away, required assistance to identify items of value, discard tons of garbage, sort through the piles, etc. The heir’s goal was to empty the home so the real estate could be sold. For anyone walking into this home, myself included, it would be considered an overwhelming situation, let alone for an heir who has no knowledge of how to proceed.

I agreed to do the job. We went in and systematically approached the entire estate, attacking the most dubious areas first. Handling a hoarder’s estate is, quite literally, an archeological dig. We unearth one layer at a time. We work through the system, we follow the proper process that we have perfected, we sort as we go, and we report back to the heir/executor what we find. In short, if there is something of value hidden, we will find it for the family. Sadly, much of what we find that used to have value no longer has value, because it has been destroyed from being buried for decades, exposed to critters, relentless fungi, deterioration, etc.

I don’t mind sharing with you that this was a grueling job, even for this professional with decades of experience. Progress was slow since the home was in very bad shape with rodent nests and “evidence” of them, and the home smelled. Naturally we took all health precautions, but it is difficult especially early in the process because there is no room to sort, organize, etc. Room by room, we used the same method; over the course of 9 days we found some pretty spectacular things.

Our systematic approach might seem overkill to some, but had we not taken our time to go through a logical sequence and particular order, we never would have found over $40k in cash (in places that another clean out company would have just discarded without looking, or donated without taking the time to search every nook and cranny). We found an extensive coin collection, cash, some jewelry, sterling silver hidden in a cubbyhole no one knew was even there. We found guns and what I call “uniques & oddities” that were just fascinating to uncover.

Imagine us heading into a walk-in attic that was up to our elbows and higher in places! Clearly, the elderly client had not thrown anything away for generations. While the digging part and the smelly part and finding the dead critters part were less than thrilling, someone had to do this for the client; it might as well have been my company.

While I was totally focused working in this estate, I had several very important thoughts I would like to share with you.

1. How fortunate for the client, and the attorney representing this client, that they chose a professional who was honest. That cash would have and could have easily disappeared if they chose an estate person who was unethical and unprofessional. When I took that money to the law office, they knew they were dealing with a person of integrity. One has to earn their impeccable reputation.
2. Thankfully, we do have a systematic approach in place to uncover everything. What if we had mistakenly thrown away the cash? What if we never found it and it ended up in the dumpsters?
3. You get what you pay for. If you hire a clean out company that just throws things away, you could be making a grave mistake.
4. For Do-It-Yourselfers: There’s nothing wrong with this approach. However, you can become emotional, creeped out, and overwhelmed, and decide to start throwing items away quickly to get finished. I spend a lot of time pulling things out of the trash that my clients have thrown out, because they don’t know the values.

The moral to the story: It took more than one lifetime to create the mess we “un-created” in a little over a week. Most families could never have finished in so short a time if they did it themselves, and would certainly have made unintentional mistakes which could have been costly. Search for and research any estate company you are thinking about using. They are worth their weight in gold if they have a great reputation!

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

The Mother

May 9, 2014 | Julie Hall

What a very strange place to build a nest! The top of our old, abandoned basketball hoop post is not exactly my idea of a safe place to raise babies, especially because the nest was built inside the open top of the pole hole. It’s safe from most predators because it is 8 feet up in the air. The parents take turns keeping watch so they are also safe from birds of prey as well. But a long, hollow pole for a teeny, tiny nest?

Suddenly, my delight changed to concern. I watched, completely fascinated, from inside my car parked in the driveway, as the tiny mom and dad dove down inside the top of this metal pole to feed the chirping babies. It must get really hot in there for those babies, I thought to myself, especially here in the warm south with a temperature of 90 degrees yesterday. What if the nest fell all the way to the bottom, inside the pole?

The sky turned gray and I heard a rumble of thunder. The rain started as a trickle first, then gradually came down harder until it was a good downpour. Still in my car, windshield wipers on full speed, I watched as the two parents emerged from the top of the pole, looking as if they were ready to take off.

Dad flew to the top of the hoop and stood guard, but it was what mother did next that made me wish I had my video camera handy.

With the delicate grace nature gives her, she balanced on the top rim of the opening as if she would go back in with her babies. But instead, she hovered, extending her wings, stretching them as far as they would go and acting as an “umbrella” for her offspring. Was she cleaning herself, using the rain to take a shower, or was she protecting her babies from potentially drowning? I know nothing of birds or their habits, but it certainly looked like she was protecting them, with dad watching over his mate and babies.

It dawned on me that all good mothers do this. As mothers, we spend at least 18 years of our lives with our wings extended, as if to say, “Nothing’s going to happen to my child with me here.” We too have a natural instinct to surround, protect, keep safe, stand guard against anything bad that comes near our children. We nag … they chirp. We yell … they squawk. We hug … they extend their wings.

We shelter our “babies” from sinking into a bad place, and if they do fall, we go down there with them and pull them back up. It’s what moms do. When the time is right, just like mother bird, we have to push them out of the nest too, so they can learn to be self-sufficient. How else will they learn?

My mom is gone now, but somehow she is never too far away. At times, I swear I can hear her whisper guidance in my ear, tell me she loves me and she’s proud of me, or remind me that each new day brings new things and not to be afraid of tomorrow.

My mom was just like that momma bird. She protected us fiercely, and when the time was right, she let us fly, because she knew she had done her job correctly and prepared us for what lay in front of us.

I miss her so much it hurts. Remember your mom this weekend and be ever mindful of all she did, has done, and will continue to do for you in life as well as in death. If she is still living, there is a huge blessing in that. And if she has passed on, the blessing now sits inside of you for having known her.

God bless all mothers everywhere!

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

The Permission to Let Go

May 7, 2014 | Julie Hall

For more than two decades, I have cleaned out other people’s estates and enjoyed the reward of knowing we really do make a difference in people’s lives. As complicated and contentious as the dis-assembly of a loved one’s estate can be, I have learned that the issues that arise during the process come from much more than grief or even greed.

When I am consulting with a family – usually children who are dealing with the aftermath of losing their parent(s) – I can see their very personal struggle, trying to decide what to keep and what to let go. Many deal with guilt issues and feel compelled to hold on to the items mom so dearly cherished. I can see that the children do not cherish these items; they become resentful at having to bring them home, even though they have no room for them.

What most people need is permission.

Permission to surrender, to relinquish, to let go and find a new home for these items.
Permission to accept that these are not the kind of things you may want to keep for yourself or the grandchildren.
Permission to not pass the buck to the next generation.

When you boil it all down, it seems to be the one issue the kids don’t even realize they are experiencing, until I say, “It’s ok to let go of it.” They know instinctively that I know what they are thinking. Most of the time, a look of awareness hits them, and they just say, “Thank you. I really needed to hear that. How did you know I needed someone to give me permission?”

But the “permission to let go” affects many areas of our lives, not just personal possessions.

It finally dawned on me after living on this planet for over 5 decades. Most of life seems to be about embrace, surrender, and then oddly enough, letting go. It just seems that life has been a series of fabulous blessings, ups and downs, disappointments, tremendous joys, profound sadness, frustrations, surrender, and …. when the time is right, letting go.

Letting go of your small child headed to kindergarten for the first time.
Letting them take the car keys.
Letting them go off to college.
Letting go of our own youth as time marches on.
Letting go of a loved one at the end of their life.

It is part of the cycle of life.

It takes introspection, strength, mindfulness, awareness, and while we are at it, a few thousand tears.

I’m writing this as I hear the jingle of keys. My teenager just shouted up to me, “Bye, Mom!”, jumping in the car along with her newfound freedom, a big smile, and a spring in her step. It is a bittersweet thing and an almost impossible balance: to be happy for her, on the one hand. Yet seeing the beautiful adult emerging, I know I must let go of the child in her, even though I don’t really want to. Here come a few more tears …

But even I know that all butterflies take flight when they are ready. We must also be mindful of all the letting go and sacrifices our previous relatives have done for us.

You probably know someone, if not yourself, who is in the process of letting go of something or someone. Letting go can either be a huge struggle or a freeing experience. I hope it is the latter for each of us.

Letting go. What a beautiful gift, if we can find the strength!

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

“Promise Me …”

April 22, 2014 | Julie Hall

(A powerful blog for those with parents who have not yet planned ahead)

An elderly mother says to her son, “Promise me you will never put me in a nursing home. It’s so depressing. Promise me you will never do that.”

The middle-aged son says:

Promise me that you will make plans now, so I won’t have to later under duress.

Promise me that we will discuss this now, instead of at a time when it is either too late, or I will have to make excruciating decisions in a crisis mode.

Promise me that you will give this much thought.

Promise me that you will love us both enough to do this now, so I know YOUR wishes and they can be fulfilled as closely as possible. Research assisted living facilities. Research home health organizations. Have a plan in place we can both use.

Share your plan WITH me.

Promise me all of these things, so I can live the remainder of my life, knowing I honored you the best way that I could, knowing we had full and open communications, knowing we talked about the “what if’s.”

And lastly, promise me that you will never ask me again to promise you what you just asked of me. For without any direction or guidance from you, I will be guessing, and guessing is not what you want me to do with your life hanging in the balance. I don’t want to guess either, wondering if I’ve made the right decisions.

Guessing will only lay guilt at my feet and weigh heavily upon my shoulders.

If/when a crisis occurs, I will not be thinking straight. I will not be myself. I will not fully understand the ramifications of my decisions. I will be stunned and emotional. I will look and act like a zombie going through the motions. I will be confused and overwhelmed by medical staff saying things I don’t understand, and family members questioning my every move. Promise me you won’t do that to me.

By thinking about this now and deciding on what YOU want, we can put a plan together so there is no guessing. Saying “I love you” isn’t enough sometimes. Doing all of these things and preparing for that day ahead of time is a gift of pure love.

I will cherish and honor you for this gift, both now, as well as in my future. Thank you for protecting my soul, mom, dad. Thank you for loving me that much!

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

Know When to Hold ’em BEFORE You’ve Sold ’em

April 18, 2014 | Julie Hall

It is not unusual to meet with families sorting through an estate on their own and making serious mistakes. Through no fault of their own, they are following their logic. Since they don’t have the benefit of knowing the correct process and sequence of things, knowing the industry, collectibles, antiques, and the overall market, they soon find themselves “guessing” and that is a very bad thing to do.

Families, executors, and attorneys hire estate professionals so we can guide the family in knowing what has value, what doesn’t, what is sellable, what is not, options for selling, resources for selling, what to throw away, and what to keep. This is what we Estate Consultants do to maximize proceeds and offer peace of mind to our clients, knowing they are making the right decisions.

Let me tell you a story about what just happened.

I love sterling silver rings. Besides wearing them, they are a good investment as a precious metal. I had been watching a large lot of rings on eBay and won it at a very fair price. When the rings arrived, I looked at them and found a huge surprise. One ring stood out; I knew instantly it was Imperial jade, and one of the largest pieces of Imperial jade I had ever seen. Even a small slab of this jade is very expensive and sought after. The setting was platinum and not sterling. It was, at the very least, a $1,500 ring thrown in with $5 sterling rings.

Someone did not do their homework or did not take the time to do enough homework.

I attempted to contact the seller on eBay, but they never replied.

Moral to the story:

Haste makes waste. It is worth hiring an expert to avoid hasty, and costly, mistakes. No one can possibly know everything. Bringing in professional help is an inexpensive insurance policy that you are making the right decisions for the distribution and dissolution of a loved one’s personal property.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

Ode to the Gardener – Important Life Lessons

April 8, 2014 | Julie Hall

Not so long ago, I stood by my father’s side witnessing the ever-advancing damage of dementia. I knew deep inside that our time together was growing short from a cognitive perspective, but I never once took into consideration that he, himself, would be taken so quickly. Dad was a Master Gardener who dedicated his life to understanding the soil, composting, plant diseases and cures, etc.

Dad volunteered 20,000 hours of his senior years teaching children in elementary, middle, and high schools how to nurture and grow vegetables, how to be more self-sufficient, how to be responsible, how to be part of something bigger than yourself. He also went into prisons, as he wanted to give them a sense of hope and accomplishment. Dad was sent a gold lapel pin award from President Bush, honoring his 20,000 hours of volunteering, and he was so proud of that pin.

When dad and I were in the garden together, he used to say there was no therapy better than sticking your hands in the earth and being a part of nurturing a plant to maturity, taking a back seat to mother nature, of course. Little did I know, I would inherit his love for gardening and his green thumb as well.

There are many life lessons to be learned from gardening. Below are several listed from Adam McCane’s site, which I really like; I just tweaked them a bit for purposes of this blog.

What you water grows. This simply means that we need to pay attention to ensure we are watered throughout life. It is the most basic need we have, for without it, we would perish. So will our plants that feed us, if we don’t take care of them or the earth.
Weed regularly. Weeds are deceptive. You won’t notice them starting, but before you know it, they are choking out your veggies, stealing water and nutrients from your plants, and reproducing. The rule in the garden is simple: If you see a weed, pick it! The same is true for life. Weeds and other “undesirables” have a way of creeping in on us. We need to be mindful that we do not need any weeds in our lives, literally or figuratively. Get rid of them and don’t feel bad about it. All of us are tired of dealing with the weeds!
Sharing the harvest. It’s all about abundance, whether you are sharing veggies, flowers, time, care, love, etc. Share what you have an abundance of and pay it forward. It always finds its way back.
Plant in the right season. For everything, there is a time and purpose. Sometimes, it is beyond our understanding. I believe we reap what we sow. Maybe it’s time to plant better, more productive things in our lives. Feed your spirit by allowing only good things into your life now. If you see things rotting, infested, etc., you will need to tend to them by getting rid of them, or proactively healing them. TIme and nature will tell you which one it will be.
Space is required for growth. It’s hard to imagine how much room a vegetable is going to need when you grow it from seed or buy a seedling that is in a 5-inch pot. Sometimes they grow so fast and thick, they can choke out other plants. Giving a plant plenty of space is important for the health of the plant, so it receives plenty of sunshine and nutrients. Providing this space will ensure our plants will be healthy, productive, and have plenty of breathable space. We need to do this for ourselves and give that gift to others too.
Pruning is necessary for abundance. Cutting, pinching, or picking off dead leaves, branches, poor or weak fruit is necessary for the growth of the healthy fruit. Vineyard pruners do this every day. They know exactly how to cut the vine to promote healthy grapes. While it may look harsh to see so much being removed, it gives the healthy portions of the plant more nutrients to produce the best fruit. Sometimes, we need to look at ourselves the same way and learn how to prune ourselves by letting go of things that no longer serve our well-being and our highest good.

Dad’s old garden hat is still hanging next to mine on a hook in my laundry room. Every time I head out to the garden, Dad accompanies me in spirit. I kept his watering can, his old worn leather gloves, his t-shirts. Those things were my father and how I remember him best. I can still hear his voice guiding me in the stillness of my own vegetable patch. Much of his advice to me through life also applies to the lessons of raising a successful garden, whatever “garden” we may be cultivating at any given time.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

Franklin Got the Mint – Susie Got the Shaft

April 3, 2014 | Julie Hall

Meeting with a mid-age female client this week was an eye-opening experience. Her mother was still living and in a facility, and the daughter was in the midst of starting her life over again in her 50s. The daughter was struggling because her mother was financially strapped; the daughter now supports the mother and the heavy costs of her ongoing care. Facing unemployment herself, she is carrying a burden of monumental proportions.

I was called over to her home to see if there was anything of value that could be sold to keep up with the costs of mom’s care. The daughter’s home was filled with Franklin Mint, Bradford Exchange, Hummel collectibles, Lenox collectibles, Fenton, and any other collectible you can think of that today has very little value. Never mind, these plates cost $39.95 each or more, at the time mom bought them all for her daughter. On Ebay, they sell for $3.99 if they sell at all these days. All of the companies mass-produced these items and mom thought that her daughter could retire on them one day, because she was certain they would be extremely valuable.

Mom spent all of her money on these things that are not only undesirable on the market to most, but they have also cluttered up the daughter’s home. You could see the anger and sadness on her face that “mom bought all of this #*&@# and now she’s broke.”

“Do you have any idea how much money she would have today if she didn’t buy this stuff? Now I can barely make ends meet with her expenses and mine, and I am worried I will get laid off.”

I am not blaming the companies, but it’s worth saying that I see this frequently. They were incredibly smart with their marketing and everyone in mom’s generation felt these collectibles could only go UP in value. But let’s look at it from this perspective … If it’s such a great deal, why would they let tens of millions in on it?

Mom had the best of intentions but she just kept buying against her daughter’s will. The daughter asked her to stop and she didn’t. She bought all of it thinking her daughter could retire on these items one day. Instead, her daughter is working very hard to keep her mother’s care afloat, and having to make grueling decisions on putting mom in a place that offers less care, less amenities, less enjoyment, less everything. This too weighs heavily on the child. The best of intentions went sour in this case.

Moral to the story: If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Stick to what you know; stick to time-tested sources of wealth preservation, such as jewelry, gold, silver, etc. Always use your gut instinct and stay away from the TV shopping channels. If you want to leave a powerful legacy for your children, make a plan for your future and set an example for them to follow, when they get to that point in their lives. The best gift a parent can ever give a child is a well-thought out plan for the final chapter in their lives.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

Failure is Just “Redirection”

March 25, 2014 | Julie Hall

Working as a mentor for many in the estate industry, I am often confronted by questions that are not always easy to answer. Just this week, a newcomer to the industry commented that she forgot an appointment and lost the job to a competitor, feeling she had failed at the task at hand. Another called to tell me he is failing miserably at his current occupation and has no passion for it any longer. Even my teenage daughter has struggled with English at school; anything having to do with words and putting them together makes her feel she has failed.

Failure is a terrible word. It can crush the spirit and make us feel small. It permanently mars our confidence level and will have great impact on how we view ourselves now and in the future. I always go back to my theory on planting trees, and the same goes for raising children. If you are going to plant a tree, plant it straight. If you plant it crooked, so the tree grows. I think we are not so very different from trees.

There is not one among us reading this now who has not felt the sting of failure or the tears that accompany that sting. But here’s the thing we need to remember.

Failure is not a bad thing. A “failed” relationship is a sign you need to go in a different direction. “Failing” to get a job, because you accidentally forgot your appointment, may have been a blessing in disguise. Failing at your current job just means you need to find something to do that you love and you will succeed at it.

Failure is a great teacher. It teaches us what we do not want, and this is vital for personal growth. I remember many years ago, I dated a man who was absolutely the wrong kind of guy for me. It ended miserably. He commented later on, when I ran into him, that I must be very disappointed or angry. I simply replied, “Actually, I thank you. You were a wonderful teacher. You taught me what I didn’t want.” He probably thought I was crazy, but I meant it. Because he taught me such a valuable lesson, I knew from that moment what I did want, and I went and found it.

If you feel you are failing at something, you need to take some time to reflect, redirect, and move forward. We need to go inside with our dark thoughts, face them head on, and turn them around to our benefit. If you keep doing the same thing over and over again, and remaining miserable, isn’t THAT the crazy part? I think it is normal to be fearful of change, but if you don’t do it – if you don’t take that risk – you’ll never know what you could have been.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

Is There a Pot of Gold at the End of YOUR Rainbow?

March 19, 2014 | Julie Hall

Most people reading this might be quick to respond with an emphatic “No.” However, I beg to differ. I suggest we give this a little thought before we jump to that conclusion. Not all of us have the luck of the Irish, win the lottery, or find a treasure trove of buried gold coins, as in The Count of Monte Cristo. But according to a client of mine who is 101 years young, we have much more than that.

Ask Herb if he is blessed and he will say with the vigor of a 20 year old,

“My goodness, yes I am! Just look at me; I am vertical and that means it’s a good day. I have air in my lungs and the sun on my face; I’m happy because I know where I’m going after this place.”

What an inspiration!

Ask him what “success” means after living 101 years and he’ll simply say,

“Success is faithfulness. Faithfulness to your God, faithfulness to yourself and to your loved ones. It’s being faithful to your business and anything else you touch. In the end, money doesn’t matter much because you can’t take it with you. Success is making the most of what you have and using it to help others. Whether you have a lot or a little, you just live in such a way as to make a difference. You never know whose life you are going to touch.”

There you have it. I was officially given an attitude adjustment while sitting there with Herb, and now I’m passing it along to you. It’s easy to get down or stuck, especially if you listen to the news and see what’s happening to the world around us. How about listening to your heart for a change? Try volunteering at a shelter and see how some really live, or help homeless animals, or kids who are troubled, etc. Do something to make a difference, like Herb suggested.

Every day, I see people wrapped up in personal possessions: furniture, crystal, china, silver. Every day I see people fight over these things that they can’t take with them either. And sadly, every day I see people fight so viciously that they never speak to siblings again.

For what? For nothing!

Because in the end, they live with regret, and regret is a thief. A thief of your time, energy, thoughts, and your spirit. It just isn’t worth it.

Herb is right. In the end, none of this matters, except good deeds and the knowledge that you have lived each day in such a way that made a difference. That is something I believe we take with us always.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com