We’re Celebrating Today!!!

| Julie Hall

Today, you are reading my 100th blog!

100 messages of help and hope!

100 times The Estate Lady has tackled topics of timely thought!

Today, I celebrate all of you who “get it”!

To all of you who “get it”, I thank YOU!  Not just because you make my job easier, but because you will go forward, share what you have learned from my blog and thoughts, my books and random opinions, and you will teach others how to finally “get it.”  Eventually, the truth always sinks in.  For some it takes a very long time.  For others, it never happens and they will sadly perish before putting a little forethought into planning for loved ones when they are infirm or gone.  Still, there are others who get it from the word “go” and realize that planning takes away a great worry, maps out a plan and offers guidance to those left behind to pick up the pieces.  It’s about loving someone enough to do what is right, what is good, and what makes for old-fashioned common sense.

Gone are the days when you can scribble a will out on a piece of college-ruled paper.  Its validity will be challenged along with your scruples.  We live in a complex time: politically, socially, legally, etc.  Don’t get me started!  Our elderly loved ones lived during a time when life was less complex, though none the less challenging.  They too had many hardships in their lives.  Just because they are the silent generation doesn’t mean you have to be.

Have that courageous conversation!  Ask them the difficult questions and expect answers.  Ask what they want for their future, what their final wishes are, ask more about your family history.  Just come from a place of love and understanding.  Don’t be afraid to hurt their feelings.  They might have some age on them, but they survived two World Wars, the Depression, and raising you, so we know they don’t spook easily.   Do it now while you still can!

That’s your thought for the day.  We’re going strong after 100 blogs, so I’d love to hear your questions or topics of interest, related to personal property and estates.  Leave a comment below, and your question may be answered in a future blog.

Thanks to all of you who faithfully read and share this blog!!

© 2011, The Estate Lady

How to Behave As an Heir

| Julie Hall

Recently, I did a podcast for Moving Forward Matters in Ottawa, Canada.  Here’s the link to my 10 minute discussion on Estate Etiquette.  

http://www.movingforwardmatters.com/2011/06/08/estate-etiquette-know-what-to-do/

Here are several suggestions for how to behave as an heir in the estate of your parent or close loved one.

  1. Sit down and say what’s on your mind.  Beating around the bush confuses everyone.  Confrontation is not necessarily a bad thing.  My father always said that the day after a thunderstorm is usually clean, bright, and beautiful.  It clears the air and so does a confrontation that is more about sharing than finger pointing. 
  2. It’s vital to do everything you can to keep the peace.  To avoid heartache and resentment, do your best to take the “high road.”  It feels good to do so, though it’s not always easy.
  3. Validate the other person’s feelings if they share them with you.  At least, listen.  Repeat what they said to you so they feel you heard them.  Both should agree to simply do the best you can to smooth it over somehow.  A photo of Mom and Dad sitting in front of you wouldn’t hurt.  After all, this is about honoring them and not about the heirs.
  4. Encourage others to be a part of the healing process, if they would like to be.  It is not about taking sides.  It is about encouraging both parties to do what they can to heal the hurt.  Always remain objective and try very hard to see the other side.  

Dividing heirlooms can be one of the most contentious experiences of our adult lives.  There is no way to completely eliminate family squabbles.  But, you can learn to put them out when they are smoldering, instead of when they grow into a full-blown forest fire.

© 2011 Julie Hall

From Clutter to Cash, Part 3

| Julie Hall

Here are the final 4 options for turning the clutter stored in your home and garage into cash.  Please pay special attention to Option #7 before you get rid of anything that might have value. 

6.  Do-It-Yourself – You can try Ebay, Craigslist, local advertising in your newspaper. These are time-consuming and often frustrating if you don’t know the proper way to describe the items, people never show up at the appointed times, money can be wasted in fees (especially Ebay’s, which are not cheap, but at times are worth it). For antiques, collectibles, jewelry, vehicles, larger collections: If you are determined to save the percentage you would ordinarily pay a professional, that’s ok. But keep in mind that professionals have the knowledge and skills to sell these items for the highest amount they can. If you are paying them a commission, they want it to sell for as much as possible too.

7.  BEFORE you sell or give away anything you perceive has value, make sure a professional appraiser takes a look at it. A professional who is paid for an opinion of value and not one that will offer to buy it, which to many is a conflict of interest, but you be the best judge. I have uncovered items worth tens of thousands of dollars that were slated for donation. The fee my client paid me was well worth having me come over, because my experience and skills uncovered what they thought was give-away junk. For example, they were very happy when I discovered in their basement a vase that was sold for $57,500.

8.  To sell or donate? – Should it just be donated, or can I try to sell it first? If it doesn’t sell, I’ll pack it up for donation. Whichever you prefer. If it is banged up and in horrible condition, recycle it or throw it away. If you would feel better giving your items to those less fortunate – there are many who are these days – please find a worthwhile charity or organization. By all means, give, give, give. You will receive a donation receipt you can use for this year’s taxes.

9.  Scrap it – If it’s metal and you don’t want it, or it’s broken or bent, don’t throw it away; scrap it! Find out the location of your local scrap yard and haul it there to get cash. It is not unusual for a truck load to be $100-$150 depending on the type of metals you have. They are looking for insulated copper wire, copper tubing, auto radiators, air conditioning coils, brass, aluminum, bronze, cast iron, stainless steel, and other high temperature alloys.

Please leave a comment at the end of this article and let me know how this has helped you.  What have you cleared out and how did you turn it into cash?

©The Estate Lady, 2011

From Clutter to Cash, Part 2

| Julie Hall

We’re continuing our conversation from the last blog about turning clutter into cash.  Here are several more options for finding a buyer for your clutter.

2.  Consignment shops – For designer clothing, higher quality purses and shoes, nice quality furnishings and home decor, physically go into different stores to talk with the manager and get a feel for their percentage/fees and how they work. Some will negotiate on their percentage a little bit. You can expect to pay them 35%-50% commission, plus a possible pick-up fee. Remember: location, location, location.

3.  Auction company – If you have a lot of household items, nice quality furnishings, and decorative items, consider a local auction house with a good reputation. Their percentages range from 15%-25% and may also have additional pick-up fees. Remember to ask for auction estimates for some of the better pieces, as the auctioneer should be able to offer you a range that he/she feels it will sell for. There are two kinds of auctions: absolute and reserve. Reserve means it will not sell until the reserve price (minimum) has been met. But many auctioneers will not place reserves on numerous items. They will sell for what the public decides; that is an absolute auction. When that hammer comes down and it’s only $20.00, that is what the item sells for.

4.  Higher-end auction galleries – For higher end items, find higher end auction galleries and contact their consignment director to ask them if these items are of interest to them. Large auction houses have extensive lists of buyers and often sell to multiple countries. This is what you want for high-end items that are small enough to ship.

5.  Selling gold? – A jeweler may not get you the most “bang for your buck” but it’s worth asking. Don’t be too hasty when wanting to melt down items. Many people are selling gold pieces with gemstones in them and not getting paid for anything other than the gold. Think twice and compare offers: Can I get more for this piece as it is, a ring or pendant, or should it be melted down? Do research in your area. Find the gold buyers that are one or two steps from the refinery itself, as they will generally pay you higher $$ than others. Call around; visit different places. Get the gold weighed and let them make you an offer. Go with the highest offer. Note: There are those who are sitting on their gold, thinking it will go higher still. Watch the gold prices closely.

We’ll have the last 4 options next week! 

©The Estate Lady, 2011

Clutter in Your Closets = Cash in Your Pockets

| Julie Hall

The Estate Lady® is well-known for her quote on keeping stuff. “If you don’t see it or use it for 2 years (maximum), statistically speaking you’ll never use it, so get rid of it!” Why allow your home to be cluttered up when life is hard enough? SIMPLIFY and make some cash too!

Easier said than done, believe me. As I write this, I feel like Mighty Mouse zipping through our entire home, closets, garage, etc. because I’ve grown tired of all the STUFF! My husband probably thinks I’m nuts, but to his credit he says nothing and lends his muscle. Call it an occupational hazard of being in homes every day and seeing everyone else’s stuff. Then I come home to my own cabinets and closets, eek! So I decided to do something about it and so can you.

Did you know that 80% of what we own we never use? We use the same 20% of things every day because we are creatures of habit — our favorite clothes, shoes, purses, kitchen ware, etc. So that leaves a healthy percentage of things we don’t really need and as I say, “put some cash in your pocket instead of clutter in your closets!”

From kitchen items to books, costume jewelry to tools, there is a buyer out there who wants them. Here are some tried and true options; which is right for you?

  1. Yard sale – Utilitarian items are selling better than ever. Pyrex, pots and pans, used paint remnants, rugs, tools – anything someone really needs – are selling very well at yard sales. Just know these items won’t sell for retail, but try 25% of the value for these kinds of items. Make sure you don’t sell anything of significant value. If uncertain, hire a personal property appraiser to be certain, or it could be a costly mistake on your part.

Next week … 4 more options for your stuff.  You don’t want to miss the rest of this list!

©The Estate Lady, 2011

A Change in Your Health Can Mean a Change in Your Will

| Julie Hall

An estimated 50% of us have a will or trust!  This is not good news!

Most people have not yet comprehended (or accepted) that dying without a will is a very costly mistake that will negatively impact all you leave behind.  It’s not just about the hassles and frustrations your heirs will go through potentially for years, but the expenses involved.  Ultimately, the state you live in will make decisions regarding your estate that will not distribute it the way you would have chosen.  In a nutshell, get it done now and leave a legacy of respect, instead of resentment.

For those who do have a will, it is important to consider any changes in mental and physical health, as these could greatly impact the outcome of someone’s wishes.  For example, let’s say mom’s healthcare power of attorney states that dad makes all decisions for mom in the event she is incapacitated, vegetative state, etc.  Suddenly dad is exhibiting odd behavior and is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, which is progressing rapidly.  Can he now make sound decisions for mom?  Or, mom may not think about these details and this is the time for the children to talk with her about it.

So many Boomer children don’t know how to talk with their parents about these delicate issues, so permit me to offer some very sound advice.  It has to be done; it has to be discussed, as painful as it is.  If left “under the carpet,” no answers will be available to you should they become infirm or die.  Get the answers now, and do so with love and compassion.

Here’s one example: “Mom, we were thinking about yours and dad’s situation.  Now that dad is showing a decline in health, new decisions have to be made and documented so your wishes are fulfilled the way you would like them to be.  Dad is no longer capable of understanding complex issues, and you will need to choose a new healthcare power of attorney, so we can ensure the correct decisions will be made.  Can you please give this some thought?  Can we make an appointment with your attorney to have this changed soon?

This one example really gets you thinking.  Anytime there is a significant change in your life or a parent’s life, consider discussing ith an elder law or estate planning attorney.  Being proactive isn’t always easy or pleasant, but it can head off gut-wrenching issues that will occur at some point, especially if you have elderly loved ones.  Making sound decisions in the midst of crisis is not the optimal time to think clearly.

Lead with love, and start communicating while you can!

© 2011 Julie Hall

“Are Co-Executors a Good Idea?”

| Julie Hall

Q:  I have two grown daughters who get along well, and treat me with great care and respect.  Now that my husband has passed away, I need to update my will.  I am considering both my daughters to be co-executors.  Is this a good idea or not, Julie?  What do you suggest?

A.  Have you ever noticed that there are those who are very good at making decisions and those who couldn’t make a decision if their life depended on it?  While these are two extreme examples, everyone is somewhere between those two extremes – a mixed bag of opinions, emotions, thoughts, feelings, theories, etc.  You never know what you’re going to get when you add different moods and personalities to the mix.

Even when you know someone very well, the tide can easily turn when one is grieving and handling an estate, which is a very stressful situation.  The slow and steady brother suddenly rears up and causes strife which you did not expect.  The quiet, reclusive sister becomes the chronic complainer to the point of estrangement.  Another sister is refusing to move out of the home, causing major financial problems for the family.  Finally, the long-lost baby brother no one has heard from in years surfaces, demanding his share.

One executor is difficult enough, for they can never make everyone happy and are always the target.  Having co-executors is not often recommended by legal professionals for these reasons:  differences of opinion, geographically remote from the location of the estate, one can easily cause trouble, the other can drag out the sale of the estate against the family’s wishes.  You name it and I’ve seen it!

I think many people choose co-executors because they don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.  In the end after they leave this earth, the hurt, pain, and grief that their decision has caused can be unbearable.

Bottom line: Think long and hard before assigning co-executors.  It may be best to assign this role to someone who is completely objective, rather than either of your daughters.

© 2011 Julie Hall

A Slice of Birthday Cake with Roses on Top

| Julie Hall

Remember when we were little kids and our eyes were bigger than our stomachs, when we saw the thick, sugary icing and special colored roses on our birthday cake?  Everyone fought over those colorful, sugary roses that contained enough fuel to shoot us to the moon and back, or at least until midnight when the sugar buzz finally wore off.  We were probably 5 or 6 years old, but already we had learned a lesson that would follow us throughout our lives.

The voice in our heads beckoned us to eat as much as possible including all of those coveted roses — after all, it’s my cake, my birthday.  Why shouldn’t I have it all to myself?  Mother’s quiet, yet serious tone forced me to share, and share equally among the other children at the party.  “You have to be fair to everyone,” she would say.  It isn’t fair, I thought to myself.  That’s my cake!  I should have all of the slices of cake with the roses on them.  (The roses were, and still are, my favorite.)

So it is with much of life.  We all want the “roses” in life and that includes our loved one’s estates.  You’ve had your eye on that grandfather clock, or mom’s diamond ring, or dad’s fishing lure collection for years.  And you believe you are entitled to them, or perhaps they were promised to you long ago, so you just assume they will be yours one day.  Then that “one day” comes, and your sibling claims the same thing … the trouble begins.

Until they are gifted to you in person prior to infirmity or death, or until there is a written plan for those heirlooms upon a loved one’s passing, you are entitled to nothing unless it is given to you.  Even if you don’t end up with your beloved “rose,” we must remember that while we would like to have the majority of the cake, it is good and appropriate to share equally.

You taught me well, Mom!

© 2011 Julie Hall

One Chip Can Ruin Everything

| Julie Hall

In my world of personal property, one little chip on a porcelain piece can mean the difference  between going into the trash and selling it for far less than it should have sold, had it been perfect.  As an appraiser of fine items, I know that original condition is just one very important characteristic when assigning value.

My entire career has centered around selling items that are in good, original condition — not stripped of original finish, not repaired, not refurbished — just plain, old original condition.  It is also that same original condition that attracts the collector toward the mellowness of color that only the passage of time can create on a beautiful antique wood piece — imperfections and all. 

Those imperfections “prove” to that collector’s discriminating eye it’s true age, and the history and personality of the piece.  Worn leather, distress marks, scars from accidents, etc. are all part of the life our antique possessions have led before they came to us.

The collector knows some of these marks are positive attributes, but the average person is in search of perfection — perfection of body, perfection of mind, perfection for each facet of their lives.

It suddenly occurred to me that we should look at ourselves and each other in the very same manner as that special collector.  We are aging, we have earned our stripes, we have gained insight and wisdom through the passage of years.  Yet we too have many imperfections: a chip here, a chip there, a few fracture lines.  We should strive to do our best to live with our original condition for as long as possible.

While one chip can greatly diminish the value of  an antique platter, our own self-worth only grows deeper with our well-earned battle scars from a life well lived.

© 2011 Julie Hall

How to Hire an Estate Liquidator

| Julie Hall

How to Find a Liquidator:

Check your phone book under Estate Liquidators, Apprasiers, Auctions, or Antiques

Check online – Google “Your City, Estate Liquidator”  Any professional liquidator is going to have a website these days.

www.ASELonline.com for nationwide assistance

Call an estate planning lawyer in your city and ask the secretary or assistant for a referral.

Questions to ask a prospective liquidator:

How long have you been in business?

Can you provide professional references for sales you have conducted?

How do you charge, by flat fee or commission?

What must I do to prepare for you to begin?

Can I remain on-site while I prepare?

Are there any additional fees?

Do you charge extra to clean up prior to the sale, as well as post-sale?

How many days will it take you to set up for the sale?

Do you price every item?

How do you keep track of what items sell for?

How many days do you hold the sale?

Can the family be present? (generally, not a good idea)

How do you handle discounts or negotiations?

May I see a copy of your contract?

How much do you charge to clean out the estate, leaving it empty?

Do you ever buy from your sales or pre-sell to dealers?

© 2011 Julie Hall