Downsizing = Daunting

April 17, 2011 | Julie Hall

“Daunting” is a good word to describe the downsizing process, and many questions and problems will arise during the process. Selling household contents and clearing out a home after a loved one becomes infirm or passes away brings about great emotions which further complicate the process.

Consider it a labyrinth of issues — whichever way you go, there are even more questions and things to worry about. There are many “unprofessional professionals” waiting in the wings to take advantage, so you must carefully choose the best professional to assist you. The more knowledge you can amass, the better equipped you will be to make sound decisions and feel good about them.

Talk to different professionals: auctions, estate liquidators, consignment companies, to gather facts and see what each one can offer you. Find out if they will come to your home and look at the items to be sold, what their percentage is, whether they charge a fee to pick those items up, can they provide references, do they work by contract (you want a contract!). Remember too, to contact your local Better Business Bureau to make sure they have no unresolved complaints against them.

Ask around. Talk to friends, colleagues, your attorney. Most of all, find a professional you feel comfortable with and feel you can trust. If your gut instinct tells you the fit is not right, listen to that instinct and continue searching for another professional.

Next week: A guide to hiring an estate liquidator

In the meantime, check out my book “How to Clean Out Your Parents’ Estate in 30 Days or Less” for so much more on this process. See the link to the book at the right of this blog.

Life is Like a Track Meet

April 11, 2011 | Julie Hall

As a middle-aged adult, those junior high kids have a way of making it look easy. I honestly don’t remember having that kind of energy, but I know we all did.

Attending my teenager’s track meets, I find myself in awe of the high jumpers and the hurdlers. Observing them, in all their youth and vigor, I could see that it takes even a young athlete great effort to get up and over that bar and those hurdles. There is a rhythm in their approach, a method to the madness that the spectator marvels at. Tremendous coordination of body, mind, and spirit must synchronize to successfully clear those hurdles. Leaping into mid-air, up and over an obstacle you cannot see at the last moment requires forethought, guts, and faith that they will achieve their goal.

Watching each of them focus on the task at hand and seeing the power of their “take-offs,” the sound of their pounding feet on the track, and the grunts from overexertion, I see sensory proof of their efforts, victories, and momentary defeats. Life is very much like a track meet.

These are among the great lessons that teach us our lives are a series of hurdles and high jumps. Regardless of age, we are often reminded that we too have our own obstacles and fearful moments. It takes courage and faith to overcome them, or at least face them. We too will fall and get hurt many times in life, but we must get up and keep going, just like these kids.

Every time I have problems getting motivated, or even days when I realize I am having a pity party for myself, I think of those thundering flashes of feet on the track. Those kids are scared and vulnerable when they step on that track for all to see, but it’s the champion inside us that keeps us moving forward and over those hurdles.

Revised Edition is Here!

April 4, 2011 | Julie Hall

A year ago, I wrote a companion guide for my best-selling book, The Boomer Burden. It was titled “A Boomer’s Guide for to Cleaning Out Your Parent’s Estate in 30 Days or Less.” Last fall, I began to review the material and realized that I could make a good book … EVEN BETTER.

Be the first to read and benefit from … How To Clean Out Your Parents’ Estate in 30 Days or Less. The original contents are almost entirely unchanged, but I have added more information, more advice, and more assistance to my readers.

In the revised edition, I have added more content on the actual cleaning out process. How do you prepare for those tiring days of cleaning out? What must be done first? How do you handle all the photos and papers that you will uncover in the home?

Like any inportant project that you undertake, you need to have two very important things ready: SUPPLIES and STRATEGY. We discuss both.

Together, we do the Cleaning Out of the house one room at a time, beginning with the attic, and ending with the last box packed and the last bag dragged to the dumpster. I give you everything you need to know to clean each area of the home, just as if I was with you on this project.

If you expect to deal with your parents’ home soon, or you know someone who is anticipating this difficult challenge, please read my book! Cleaning Out your parents’s home can be done in 30 days or less with the right plan and preparation, and I want to help you accomplish this.

Simply click on the book title at the right under “Books By Julie” to link directly with Amazon. com and order yourself a copy. Better yet, get a copy for each of your siblings. It’s best to be prepared before the crisis hits, when grief and stress overcome the family.

How to Prevent Conflict Between Adult Children

March 28, 2011 | Julie Hall

A colleague in Canada invited me to create several podcasts for her website at Moving Forward Matters, Ottawa Home Transition Specialists.

The first one is titled, “How to Prevent Conflict Between Adult Children Before A Loved One Dies.” Here’s the link to the podcast: http://www.movingforwardmatters.com/2011/03/22/estate-planning-how-to-prevent-conflict-between-adult-children-before-a-loved-one-dies/

My greatest goal is to educate people and prepare them for the inevitable challenges of family members dealing with personal property accumulated over a lifetime. There are ways for parents (not just elderly parents) to prepare their children to deal with these possessions equitably, thereby avoiding years of hard feelings, sibling battles, court fights, and other ugly situations.

I hope you’ll listen to this podcast and then pass along a link to another family member or friend who may benefit from this advice. Remember, it’s not too early to simplify your possessions and create equitable plans for your children and grandchildren to follow.

In Search of Sanity

March 22, 2011 | Julie Hall

We have way too much stuff!

Everybody collects something. It’s exciting when you find a special piece you’ve been seeking for years. When the word gets out that you collect cats, suddenly everyone buys you cats. Metal, porcelain, plastic – it doesn’t matter – you get tons of them whether you want them or not.

Let us not forget that we inherit items along the way too, tripling (or more) what we already have. Next thing you know, our homes are busting at the seams, our spouses are griping because of all the clutter. Our children have let us know, in no uncertain terms, that they want nothing other than a ride to IKEA or cash, so they can buy what they want.

We’re facing a major problem in this country as our seniors and boomers age and pass away. We just have too much stuff. More is finding its’ way to the market everyday as boomers are getting the message to simplify their lives and let go of things that bog them down.

This simplification process has brought to the marketplace experts such as professional organizers, senior move managers, stagers, and estate experts. Look for professionals who are trained, have credentials, belong to professional organizations, and have experience.

As we make our way through our parents’ belongings, we also have to contend with our stuff at the same time. Learn to let go, and keep the next generation in mind as you are doing so. They certainly don’t want much and they won’t change their minds. As a client recently told me, “I’ll take photos of the items before I sell them. The photos take up less space!”

The Bottom Line on Greed

March 14, 2011 | Julie Hall

There’s a reason why greed is one of the Seven Deadly Sins. It eats people alive whether they realize it or not. The battle between good and evil has been around since the dawn of man. The Bible is filled with verses about such things.

It’s all about the desire to “possess.” Possess money, things, people, etc. It is natural for humans to want more. But, when is enough, enough? For some people, there can never be enough.

We see greed at every turn when settling estates. It is far more common than you realize. Our smaller homes aren’t good enough so we tear them down and build bigger ones, so we can fill them with more stuff. When a loved one dies, we are the first to take things from the estate, justifying that these things are a memento or sentimental.

Then we look at our own homes, and if our eyes are open, we realize we have too much, while there are those out there who have nothing.

Bottom line is: you can’t take it with you!

Start now by giving away things you don’t need, don’t want, or haven’t used in a while. So many people need your help and generosity, especially in economic times like these. Your gift can bring a smile to someone you may never see, but you will feel in your heart.

The Essence of Compassion

March 7, 2011 | Julie Hall

One of the most beautiful and important attributes a person can have is compassion. Sadly, we don’t see as much of it these days as we did back in our parents’ or grandparents’ lifetime. Call me old-fashioned, but I feel that compassion is desperately needed, both to be given as well as received every day. Let this serve as a reminder to all who read this how very blessed we are. We should spread those blessings wherever and however we can.

When dealing with our family members, especially through difficult times — times of change, times of illness and death, times of uncertainty — we should hold these words close to heart.

I don’t know who wrote this, but I have used it for many years and want to pass it along to you.

The Essence of Compassion

Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant with the weak and wrong … Because sometime in your life, you will have been all of these ….

“I know you paid $2,000 for it, but …”

February 28, 2011 | Julie Hall

If I had a dollar for every time I said this to a client, I would be a wealthy woman. It is a difficult occupation being an estate expert who specializes in personal property. They call it personal for a very good reason. When people go to sell their items, everyone gets very personal about them and feels they might be worth a fortune.

As one who has handled tens of thousands of personal items in my tenure, I can assure you very few pieces actually have truly significant value. I know you paid a considerable amount for that sofa, or candelabra, or sideboard, but in today’s market, that is a thing of the past. It’s a hard pill to swallow, I know.

The truth is, when times are good, people simply pay too much for things. Now, due to economic reasons, everyone is recycling personal property, buying at estate sales and auctions, and really saving a great deal of money not buying retail. When we hear clients lamenting the fact that they paid $4000 for a sofa and today can only get $600 for it, they want to know why!

In a nutshell, the styles have changed, the times have changed, younger women don’t like what the older women like, and we have too much supply of traditional furnishings as our older loved ones leave us. The more supply that comes on the market, the lower the prices will go.

So, hold onto your hat when you go to sell your furniture or traditional items. As hard as it may be to hear, remember … don’t shoot the messenger. I’m just doing my job to prepare you!

The Accidental Expert

February 21, 2011 | Julie Hall

Never in a million years would I have thought I would turn out to be “The Estate Lady.” I would have been perfectly content with a career dealing with animals, being a marine biologist, or something more carefree than dealing with heirs and heirlooms each and every day. I used to think it was all by accident that I ended up where I am, writing books, speaking publicly, teaching at universities, etc.

Back in my twenties, and still working full-time for a large corporation, I met with Wilma, a lovely 103 year old woman, who needed assistance handling her soon-to-be-estate. I was just breaking into the estate business handling personal property, but I soon discovered I had a special gift of listening to people, uncovering their needs, then finding a way to fulfill those needs. It didn’t take me long to see the vision of what was coming and figure out that seniors – not to mention their children – needed me and my services.

Much to my horror, Wilma’s neighbors, upon hearing she was dying and had no heirs, decided to trample through her home in my absence and help themselves to her gorgeous possessions that had significant worth. Long story, short: Wilma knew she had been taken advantage of by these unscrupulous people who only had greed in their hearts, and truly lacked love and compassion for this elderly woman facing a difficult transition.

The saddest part is this happens each day, every day, in each city, in each state, to thousands of people every 24 hours.

Wilma was the client who unknowingly gave me my company name, The Estate Lady, decades ago. Was it really an accident I was there to witness such an account of low human behavior? Or was I there because it was my destiny to learn from the situation and educate and advocate for those who need it during the daunting times of dissolving the family home?

The more I think about it, the more clearly I see that it was no accident!

“Oh, I’ll Get to it One Day.”

February 14, 2011 | Julie Hall

The trouble is … “one day” never comes!

It’s fascinating what we professionals notice in our clients’ estates. For example, we do see a distinct similarity in almost all of the estates we go into, especially if the estate belonged to an elderly loved one from the Depression Era. The attics are usually full and the interesting thing is that 85% of them are full of things that really should have been disposed of 30+ years ago.

By the time we get into these attics to clear them out, the books are rotted and have been gnawed on, anything cardboard has pretty much disintegrated, clothing either smells like mildew or falls apart in your hands, or you find items that have long since been obsolete and no one has any use for them. If items of value were stored in the attic (which is a big no-no), chances are pretty good they have been damaged and the value greatly diminished. This is not always the case, but is generally what we find.

My assistant has a saying when we are working in the daunting attics, up to our elbows in stuff: “They were young when they put this stuff up there. By the time they finally figure out it has to be dealt with, they are 85 years old and can’t get up here anymore.”

So true. Time stops for no man and it does move rather quickly. We all have the best intentions of cleaning out the shed, garage, closets, cupboards … but if you continue to procrastinate and something happens where you or your loved one become incapacitated, it truly leaves a burden for the ones you leave behind. A bigger burden than you realize.

If you have had your sights on a project around the house which includes clearing out some “stuff,” make sure you know what it is worth before you sell it or give it away. It is better to clear out the clutter now so you can feel better about it and not worry. Believe me, your loved ones will really appreciate it one day.

JUST DO IT!