What should I keep when cleaning out Dad’s house?

| Julie Hall

Don’t sell, give away, or donate anything until a professional has looked at it.  So many Boomers throw away or give away personal possessions worth a fortune, simply because they don’t know the values.  Tell everyone “no” until the appraiser has reviewed everything.  The cost to pay a personal property appraiser is nothing compared to what you could find, not to mention the peace of mind it will offer you!

Keep the following:

  • Anything that can provide family history.
  • Family heirlooms if they are wanted and will be cherished.  Don’t force heirlooms on the children if their hearts aren’t in it.
  • Evaluate all items of perceived monetary value (hire that appraiser).
  • Some family photographs.
  • Items that are rare or unusual (some antiques fall into this category) IF someone has room for them and wants them.  It’s ok to sell if no one wants them.
  • Jewelry — have it appraised first.
  • Items with historic significance — may donate if no family member wants them.
  • Important documents must be kept together until they are all sorted through by the executor.
  • Collections: gold, coins, guns, stamps, etc.  Always have them evaluated by a professional.
  • Antiques, artwork, paintings, sculpture — must be evaluated by a professional.
  • Military items.  Not only are these items sought after by collectors but may also be vital to family history.
  • Safes, safety deposit boxes, and their contents. 
  • Anything you cannot identify.

Don’t take things just to take them.  Select a few sentimental items that are small enough for you to use or display in your home.  Great family and marital strife can develop if you take too much.  Remember, the more you take now, the more your children will have to deal with later.

© 2010 Julie Hall

Being Thankful in These Challenging Times

| Julie Hall

With Thanksgiving near, long-ago recollections have flooded my mind: all my loved ones hovering around the kitchen picking on food morsels, family by the TV watching football, constant chatter at the dinner table, endless giggles and mischief we children always got into, and the fabulous feasts my mother and aunts prepared on this special day.

In my mind, they all look so young and vibrant, so energetic and full of life, though most of them are gone now or not in the best of health.  This is how I remember them over 35 years ago.  My mind has chosen to freeze these images, forever preserved in my head and held dear to my heart.

The grandchildren in these scenes have all grown up and we have children of our own.  In the blink of an eye, we will be grandparents, and as my brother calls it, “The Cycle of Life” continues.  Time really stops for no man.  As we age, we see changes not only in ourselves and loved ones, but in our private lives, our communities, our government.  Many of these changes have millions of people in distress, worried about everything under the sun.  There doesn’t seem to be much peace of mind these days anywhere, any place, or with anyone.

Our worries begin with healthcare and are constantly pre-occupied with financial matters.  How will we ever be able to retire?  There is not enough money for our children to go to college, no job for those children once they get out of college.  We see our elderly go back into the work force not because they want to, but because they have to.  The problems are endless and it seems that it will take decades to pull ourselves out of this mess.

In the midst of all this turmoil, I feel we have forgotten the basics, simply because our minds are obsessed with other thoughts.  We have forgotten to be thankful, to show appreciation for what we have, and for each other!  As corny as that sounds, I believe that appreciation is sadly almost a thing of the past. 

Our hurried lives have most people with their thumbs and noses glued to their iPhone or Blackberry.  We forget to engage in human activity, like talking to our kids, our elders, and sharing our lives with one another.  If you have a family, a job, some money, and your health, you are very blessed indeed.

My phone rings daily with people who want to sell their possessions and heirlooms because they are out of money, have no jobs, no income, and are about to lose their homes.  It is a constant and humbling reminder of how fortunate I am! 

If you are one of the lucky ones, give thanks for what you have and help out the less fortunate.  Open your hearts this holiday season.  You’ll be amazed at how much it will mean to those around you — even those you don’t know.  That’s how to be thankful in these challenging times!

© 2010 Julie Hall

Here’s your free copy of my “Top 10 Tips”

| Julie Hall

THANK YOU for listening to my teleseminar tonight.  If you have further questions that were not answered during the call, please ask me by clicking on “Leave a Comment” below this blog post.

While you are here, please subscribe to my blog.  I write a new entry about once a week, and you’ll find helpful information and education about personal property in every entry.  Scroll through the past entries to see much valuable information already posted.

If you want to purchase one of my books, simply click on the title(s) at the right to order your copy today.  These make excellent Christmas gifts for your parents and siblings!

Now, here’s your free copy of my article:  Top 10 Tips for Dealing with Your Parents Personal Property.  Simply click on the article title and download.

© 2010 Julie Hall

Tonight: “Top 10 Tips for Dealing with Your Parents’ Personal Property”

| Julie Hall

Join me tonight at 7 pm!  I’ll be discussing the top 10 ways you can help your parents before a mental or physical crisis occurs. 

With the holidays coming close, this is a perfect time to discuss important issues with your family, especially your parents.   More important than deciding which side dishes to serve for Thanksgiving, this is information that will be most valuable to your family!

Join me for this FREE teleseminar on Tuesday, Nov 16 from 7-8 pm. I’m joining Anne Holmes of the National Association of Baby Boomer Women. Julie Hall Teleseminar link  I’ll be taking questions too, so please call in and ask me your question.

After the seminar has concluded, I’ll post my top 10 list right here  for you to download and share.

© 2010 Julie Hall

Teleseminar “Top 10 List for Dealing with Your Parents’ Personal Property”

| Julie Hall

This Tuesday night at 7 pm, I’ll be discussing the important “conversation” that Boomers need to have with their parents. With the holidays coming close, this is a perfect time to discuss important issues with our family, especially our parents. Join me for this free teleseminar on Tuesday, Nov 16 at 7 pm. I’m joining Anne Holmes of the National Association of Baby Boomer Women. Julie Hall Teleseminar link

After the seminar has concluded, I’ll post my top 10 list right here,  for you to download and share.

© 2010 Julie Hall

6 Big Mistakes People Make with Personal Property

| Julie Hall

Personal property and heirlooms — we spend a lifetime accumulating them, inheriting them, caring for them, collecting them, and talking about them.  But we rarely know the values and we rarely make a plan for what happens to our personal property.

Here’s my list of the biggest mistakes.  Hopefully, you don’t see yourself in this list.

1.  Parents don’t share final wishes with their children.  They don’t share vital documents, especially the will/trust, or at least tell the children where they are located.

Children are then left to guess the parent’s wishes, which is a very bad thing.  Children live with guilt for the remainder of their lives, wondering if their “guess” was what mom and dad would have wanted.  What a heavy load to carry!

2.  Parents don’t make a plan for personal property.  They don’t create a master list, or ask what the heirs would like to have.  They definitely don’t gift any of their possessions while they are still alive.

3.  Parents know that death and infirmity will certainly come, but they do nothing to anticipate or minimize fighting after they are gone.

4.  Children have opposite opinions because the parents didn’t tell their wishes to the children.  This starts fights and feuds that can last for the remainder of their lives.

5.  Children are hasty with parents’ possessions.  Heirlooms with significant value can end up in a dumpster or yard sale.  They decline to hire a professional to ascertain what’s valuable before distribution and disposal.

6.  Chilren have a tendency to give away, throw away, or donate before they know the worth of those items.  Be leary of unscrupulous people who ask for a “memento” and go for the most valuable item, which you may or may not have valuated.

Did you see yourself in this list?  If so, now is the time to take action and resolve these issues.  As I’ve said before, you don’t want to become one of The Estate Lady’s sad stories!

© 2010 Julie Hall

The Executor’s Role in an Estate

| Julie Hall

You’ve been chosen as the executor for your parents’ estate, or you’ve selected the executor for your estate.  What does the executor do?

First, the executor must follow the provisions of the will, which is called fiduciary duty.  This is a legal relationship between two parties, bearing the highest standard of care by the executor to the person who requested him/her.  The executor cannot do what he or she wants to do, since the court oversees and must approve of the actions of the executor.

Second, the executor has to complete all the responsibilities of his/her role.  Even if you are disappointed that your sister was chosen as the executor instead of you, maybe you should be thankful.  Being named an executor carries huge responsibilities that cannot be ignored or shirked.  The best thing you can do, if you are not the executor, is to support the person who is!

Next, the executor has the responsibility to secure any valuable belongings, including the house, until they are distributed.  Locks should be changed immediately on the house, garage, and any outbuildings or storage units.  If there are valuables, like jewelry, that should be protected further, the executor may remove those from the house for temporary storage.  In both cases, all heirs should be notified of the changed locks and the offsite storage of valuables.  Everything should be documented.

Further, the executor should locate all important papers, including the will, financial records, master list (if one exists), and important contact information.  These contacts would include the estate attorney and financial planner or accountant.

Finally, the executor handles the equitable (hopefully!) distribution of the decedent’s assets, according to their stated wishes.  This involves much communication, promoting harmony between heirs, and navigating the minefields of relational issues that creep into this process.

Appreciate the executor of your estate, and prepare as much as you can in advance.  There is no substitute for good records and good communication!

© 2010 Julie Hall

How to Find the Best Executor for your Estate

| Julie Hall

If there is truly a job that no one wants, it has to be the Executor of an estate.  Being the executor requires great time and effort, and it is usually a thankless job.

Mom and Dad, if you are choosing an executor, here are some suggestions,  First, I recommend that you select an executor who is up to the challenge, not advanced in age, not a procrastinator, and someone who will have your best interests at heart.  Heirs or your children who will receive from the estate are not usually the best choice. 

Don’t worry about hurting anyone’s feelings when you make your choice.  This is your estate and it must be handled in a manner that is comfortable to you.  To do the job well, the executor must put your desires and wishes before anything else.

Help your executor out while you are still living.  Prepare your important papers, like your last will and testament, and make sure your executor knows where to find the papers.  Be sure to keep them updated every few years.

Besides your important legal papers, does your family know your last wishes?  Do they know how you wish to distribute your belongings?  Be sure that specific bequests are spelled out in your last will and testament.  If you want Susie to receive your china, and you want Frank to receive your books, create a master list of these items to store with your important papers. 

Better yet, why not “gift” your possessions while you are still alive?  You’ll have the pleasure of seeing the joy on your heirs’ faces when they receive that piece of jewelry or collectible they have always wanted.  You’ll also reap the benefit of saving your children from struggles and feuds after you pass away.

© 2010 Julie Hall

Your Parents Need Protection!

| Julie Hall

About a year ago, I gave my blog readers the following suggestions about protecting our parents and other elderly relatives.   Occasional news stories continue to sadden and disturb me, as another elderly, well-meaning person falls victim to a clever scam or scheme.  Please review these suggestions, and pass this information along to others, so together we can protect our elderly family and friends.

1. Ask or discuss with your parents who has durable power of attorney.

2. Register your parents’ telephone numbers with the National Do Not Call registry (www.donotcall.gov).

3. Discuss with them the list of common frauds (see The Boomer Burden, chapter 7).  Ask them to contact you if they suspect anyone is trying to defraud them.

4. Ask your parents to contact you if anyone offers to buy any of their possessions.

5. Make sure a family member personally visits your parents on a weekly basis.  If this is a challenge and you have other siblings, take turns.

6. Reduce junk mail for a small fee by going to either of these web sites: www.stopthejunkmail.com and http://mailstopper.tonic.com.

The National Center for Elder Abuse is an excellent resource for information on financial and other forms of abuse against senior citizens.  It publishes reports and conducts research on this growing problem.  NCEA’s mission is to promote understanding, knowledge sharing, and action on elder abuse, neglect, and exploitation.  Its web site also offers links to other excellent resources and organizations also devoted to protecting senior citizens.  Their web site is www.ncea.aoa.gov.

Honor your parents by standing between them and anyone who sees them as an easy target.

© 2010 Julie Hall

“Can an Executor Change the Locks?”

| Julie Hall

Q:  I am the executor for my mother, who just passed away.  She is our last parent to die, and now her house and garage will be unprotected.  I don’t know who has keys to her house, since she had some caregivers towards the end of her life.  Is it ok for me to change the locks?

A:  If you are the executor of your mother’s estate, you have a responsibility to protect all she owned until decisions can be made about dividing and disposing of her personal property.

The first step would be to retrieve all the keys to your parents’ home.  Since this is not possible with the uncertainty of who might have keys,  start with a clean slate.  Change the locks with everyone’s knowledge.  What a small price to pay for peace of mind.

No one should remove anything from the house immediately after a parent’s death.  This is common, yet it is a huge mistake that families make.  No one issue causes as much disturbance among the children and heirs: knowing that one child took a collection of stuff away and the rest don’t know the real value, nor the extent of the collection.

On the other hand, the executor has the responsibility for safekeeping the assets, and a death will often signal a vacant house to a thief who might be watching the neighborhood.  Depending on the valuables in your mother’s house, you may find the need to remove items of value, such as jewelry, sterling silver, personal legal papers, insurance documents, and anything else of significant value.

If you do remove any items for security reasons, document who has the items and where they are.  Make sure that every heir knows where the items are, and that this is a temporary home for these items.  Try to keep the items local, so they can be present and accounted for during the division of property.

The more timely the division of personal property with your siblings, the less worry you will have about burglary.  Draw the curtains and blinds every time you leave the home, and have a lamp timer to come on in a couple of rooms in the house.  Remember to leave the air-conditioning on.  Nothing is worse than turning off the utilities and coming back to a house which smells of mildew and has visible mold.

© 2010 Julie Hall