Now that school is back in session and Labor Day is almost over, it’s time for us all to get back into our routines which we abandoned in the heat of the summer. Here are 7 tips that I want you to add to your routine this fall and winter.
One of the biggest regrets I see is when a loved one dies and it’s too late to ask questions. Find your own unique way to preserve your family history. Take a little time with a loved one, make their day, and learn about where you came from.
I feel that many of us in our 40s, 50s, and 60s neglect to ask about our heritage until our loved ones are either infirm or they pass away. What can we do now to preserve our family’s history and heritage?
Our older parents do think about the family history and do worry that once they are gone, all family lineage will die with them. In my estate business, I see this all too often. I feel that many of us in our 40s, 50s, and 60s neglect to ask about our heritage until our loved ones are either infirm or they pass away.
Sometimes, clearing out a family home will uncover things you never knew about a loved one. I recall one home I was called to clear out; we found written evidence that the father had an affair way back in the 1940s. This sort of information should be handled with kid gloves.
How to empty the family home without losing your mind! That’s a concept that every Boomer should value, and this book gives you all you need! Since it begins with a section on “One or Both Parents are Living and Still in Their Home”, you’ll be able to use this guide immediately and keep using it until you actually have to clean out the home.
Over the next couple of weeks, I want to give you a taste of the practical wisdom I have poured into my latest book. The title is “A Boomer’s Guide to Cleaning Out Your Parents’ Estate in 30 Days or Less.” I definitely believe this is a realistic time frame, although many boomers spend years struggling with this process. This is a practical workbook that you can take along in your briefcase or pocketbook, and check off completed items, make personal notes, fill in worksheets.
I want to follow up last week’s true story about Carolyn with some simple information about why you need a will. No one is guaranteed the length of their days on earth; accidents and illness can come suddenly. A will is necessary even if you feel you have nothing of value. You probably have sentimental items that you wish to give to specific heirs.
Carolyn had a home full of lovely and valuable antiques in immaculate condition. She had done everything right in caring for these valuables, except for one thing. According to a Harris Interactive study, 55 percent of Americans have not bothered to see an attorney to prepare a will. Have you???
How different would Carolyn’s passing have been for her family with a little more preparation and a visit to an attorney to make everything official.
We’re continuing our discussion of important tips for dealing with personal property in an estate. Here are the final three tips.
When a loved one becomes infirm or passes away, the handling of the estate and contents lands on the lap of the heir(s). If the heir is prepared, it will go much easier than if they operate in a crisis mode. All too often, I see children who don’t know anything about the estate and contents. Here are some important tips to consider if you are currently dealing with an estate, or soon to be handling one.
Dividing heirlooms can be one of the most contentious experiences of our adult lives. There is no way to completely eliminate family squabbles. But, you can learn to put them out when they are smoldering, instead of when they grow into a full-blown forest fire.
It’s an observation worth noting: when it comes to dividing heirlooms and estate contents, everyone tenses up and no one wants to be the first to talk. You can sense the apprehension in the room, and it appears as if everyone is trying to predict what the other will do.
Do it for the earth and do it for your pocket! Donating, recycling, and selling are less expensive than a dumpster and may provide cash for your unwanted items. They may also provide a tax deduction or help out a worthy cause. Use your imagination when deciding where things could go, other than black trash bags!
A Boomer’s Guide to Cleaning Out Your Parents’ Estate in 30 Days or Less is available online in print. Every Boomer with retired or elderly parents should have a copy of this book! Please buy this book before the crisis so you’ll be prepared and armed with knowledge, resources, and guidance.
Q: My mother died a few months ago and I am completely overwhelmed with the accumulated mess she left behind. Though I tried to offer help on many occasions through the years, she would hear no part of clearing out her stuff. I spend most of my days in tears, resentful that she left me this mess, squeezed between my family, my job, and her affairs. Do you have any advice for me to handle this daunting task? Can you at least tell others not to do this to their children?
Q: My mother refuses to have a Last Will and Testament drawn up. She doesn’t want to hear about the ramifications that would be present if she died without a will. It hurts me to think she will not take care of this matter. How can I get her to listen?
“A Boomer’s Guide to Cleaning Out Your Parents’ Estate in 30 Days or Less” is finally ready! It is a “What To Do, When, and Why” take-along manual packed with meticulously compiled checklists, resources, and information.
Q: I am the executor of my mother’s estate. There are 4 children and one of them is being problematic, even accusing me of things I haven’t done and have no intention of doing. Is there something I can do to help this situation, because she is not speaking with me and causing everyone great distress? She wants everything in Mom’s house that is valuable and is not willing to share. Mom specified everything be split 4 ways equally.
Q: We have a blended family with grown children that are my husband’s, mine, and ours together. We are long retired, the children are grown, and we know it is time to make some serious decisions about our estate and division of heirlooms. For years, two of our children have been bickering over one piece in particular. Naturally we want to be fair, but I think our biggest concern is if one of the children gets an heirloom that doesn’t really belong to them because they are not from that side of the family. How can we handle this delicately?
The journey from your parents’ first signs of decline to the day their house is finally emptied may be long and difficult, filled with more stress and sorrow than you deserve. Now that the casseroles are finished, the cards are read, and the relatives have returned home, what can you do to keep their memory alive?
Whether due to unsettling financial crisis or a “blessed event” in your family, it may be time to change your will. How long has it been since you reviewed your will? There’s no time like the present to find your will and review your decisions and circumstances related to your final wishes.
Use the Estate Lady’s rule of thumb: If you haven’t used it, haven’t seen it, or had no need of it in 6 – 12 months, let go of it! It will only be a burden to someone else one day!
It’s that time of year when most of us feel obligated to do “spring cleaning”. Give your cleaning a purpose this year, and see if it puts an optimistic outlook on this annual routine. This year, consider what you can give to someone who has a need.