Why do some procrastinate when dealing with death, caregiving, and other challenging issues? Procrastination is a bad word. Planning, while you are in control and have a say, is a beautiful gift to everyone around you.
Why are the prices of china services in a nosedive? Why doesn’t china hold the same value to the Boomers, and Generation X and Y, that it did for our grandparent’s generation? Rarely do we entertain anymore, let alone cook. If today’s woman can’t put it in the dishwasher, she doesn’t want to use it.
In my book and in many of my articles, I tell stories of estates I have handled with sad outcomes; either the parents were unprepared when death came, or there are serious and tragic family rivalries over possessions. So, here’s how NOT to become one of my sad stories in a future book or article.
Ask these questions now, and have the vital conversations as a family now, before you have to make decisions and locate valuable information in the midst of a crisis.
There never seems to be enough hours in the day. If you are a caregiver, you know this better than anyone, for your schedule is not your own. Here are some suggestions I have learned along the way that might bring some “oxygen” to your life, so you can breathe again.
Who will care for you, the caregiver? Ultimately the answer is you. We’ve all heard the saying: “You have to remain strong for those you care for, so please take care of yourself.” But are caregivers really taking the time to replenish their bodies, minds, and souls? If I were a betting lady, I would say no.
Here are 8 ways that you can be proactive and take action now to help de-clutter your parents’ home. Do this now for their sake, and for your own sake. I can tell you from personal experience: you do not want to have to do this in “crisis mode.”
Holding onto possessions for the sake of not wanting to let them go will leave a massive burden for the children/heirs. Gifting now and making plans for the distribution of your possessions while you are still here (and in control of those decisions) is the best plan of action!
With almost two decades in the estate industry helping people make decisions about the dissolution of personal property, I have seen it all! And in all those years, I have tried to figure out why people have such a hard time letting go.
It is never easy to talk with your parents about future issues. Here are some conversation starters that will make it more comfortable for you and your parents.
One of his daughters became uncharacteristically possessive. She accused her siblings of not caring enough for their dad, even as she tried to prevent them from being with him during his final days.
King Solomon was known for his wisdom and ability to make sound decisions. Will his wisdom work for families when they are in the midst of grief and making difficult decisions regarding their parents’ possessions? We spend a lifetime collecting and caring for our favorite possessions. Shouldn’t we take the time to make a sound plan for passing them on to heirs?
Unfortunately, when a family member dies, or is approaching death, those who feel entitled come calling. Suddenly, heirs and distant relatives surface that you didn’t know existed, and true colors shine through in various shades of green. Here’s the irony: People are fighting over things they can’t take with them either.
How will our children handle our estate when the time comes? Planning is the key to a smoother division of property and estate settlement.
I felt like Ebenezer Scrooge visiting a strange time and place, who saw the light and understood the meaning in the few hours they allowed me to share with them. Our seniors truly are our greatest asset and we have much to learn from them!
Many of us will gather with close family at Christmas and/or New Years. You may want to observe your parents and take note of any new signs of the aging process. These signs could mean that your parents need to have someone to check on them daily, or to consider assisted living.
A little talking now can go a long way to prevent squabbling between the heirs after mom and dad pass away. For peaceful resolutions and wonderful guidance, please order The Boomer Burden. It has earned wonderful reviews, and it makes a great gift for siblings, parents, children, even clients.
When you are opening your gifts this holiday season, imagine an old tattered stocking, filled with a nickel, an orange, and newly-soled shoes.
She procrastinated making an estate plan and preparing for her own death, leaving a terrible mess for her children.
Anne and Bill are a wonderful example of parents being prepared. Wanting to make life easier for their kids, they decided to make sure their children understood their wishes.
Why evaluate personal property? It’s true that one man’s trash is another man’s treasure!
“Mom’s got 4,000 square feet full of stuff, junk and everything else, and it’s time to sell it all so she can fit into her new place.”
I have personally thrown out enough bread twister ties to go around the equator at least once!
Honor your parents by standing between them and anyone who sees them as an easy target.