Lately, I have had an influx of calls that are resembling a pattern. Boomer children are coming to grips with the financial hardship of long-term care for our elderly parents — and it comes at a high price. We are living longer, but not necessarily healthier.
Think for a moment, how blessed we are to hat least have money to buy the things we need. For the purpose of this blog, let us forget about the things we want, and concentrate on what we need. My daughter and I spent time this weekend in a large homeless shelter that serves breakfast to about 250 homeless men.
I don’t think I could ever improve on President Roosevelt. Allow it to be an inspiration to you in your life. We are covered in dust and sweat, and we do try again and again to succeed.
It seems we are all in relentless pursuit of happiness. Maybe we have trouble finding it because we are so busy in the actual pursuit of it. If you’ve ever watched a kitten chase its tail or a hamster on a wheel, that’s pretty much how I view society in general. We are always racing to get somewhere, but if we are smart, we will learn to step off the track and breathe for awhile before getting back on.
As with anything negative, it is the wise who will turn it into something positive. Because of this life experience, I can now add another dimension to my work as The Estate Lady: assisting my clients who are also dealing with this same issue. I can most definitely relate, and now I can comfort them too.
When I think of a gold digger, my mind conjures up two images: 1) an 1800’s scruffy old man panning for gold, and 2) The Housewives of Beverly Hills, Atlanta, or wherever. In the old days, a gold digger was someone who ransacked the graveyards stealing gold from the deceased. In my world of estates, I see a different kind of gold digger; one that you won’t know exists until a loved one dies or takes seriously ill.
There’s nothing easy about letting go. Or feeling like we have no control. Or even having to face the truth about ourselves or a particular situation. So many questions unanswered … and so many more that come flooding in. It leaves our heads spinning. It seems these days, we all have a burden of some sort to carry.
So too is the challenge we professionals have with discussing and valuating family heirlooms. I visit clients in their homes and enjoy each of them and listening to their stories. However, I know what the values really are, regardless of the verbal family stories. The hard part for me, and for the client, is providing proof that the following really took place.
Over 20 years ago while sitting at my corporate desk, I had this crazy idea that if I was going to work this hard for them, I might as well work that hard for myself. I kept thinking, “Julie, how can you even think of this? You must be off your rocker to consider leaving the reliability of a paycheck and benefits.” But it was like a lightning bolt from the sky – an intense thought that grabbed hold of this young woman at the exuberant age of 28, and it never let go.
Joanne was in her mid-seventies, and her daughter knew mom just couldn’t take care of a house over 4,000 square feet on over an acre of land. Joanne had to have a home that large to house all of her possessions. She needed to downsize and move to Assisted Living, but she was giving her daughter a very difficult time about the move.
I met the elderly Chinese lady at one of my estate sales. Instantly drawn to her vibrant complexion and a smile that seemed to guard a thousand secrets, the only hint she was “on age” was her white hair. Through the three-way translation, I learned that the elderly woman was 101 years old and didn’t look a day over 60!
Some people run away and some don’t. It’s how we deal with the mess that can either ruin us or elevate us. With a teen daughter watching my every move, I am determined to show her that women are strong and that her mother is indeed a warrior. It’s true what they say; it’s not what actually happens to you, but how you react to it and deal with it.
Has your junk been more places than you? It doesn’t matter how long I’ve been in the estate business, I still wonder why we hold on to so much “junk” and why we have such difficulty letting go of it. Oh sure, we may have it in neat piles, boxed in a spare room, crammed in closets, or out of sight, but make no bones about it — it is THERE, lurking in the darkness of our drawers, attics, and closets faithfully reproducing while we go about our busy lives. How on earth do we amass so much?
Q: While I’m cleaning out an estate, how can I also “go green” for the environment?
Last week, I wrote about the things people leave behind in estates. This week, I want to share with you a special find that not only surprised the daughter when I presented it to her, but helped to heal an old, yet still open wound.
It’s always an eye-opening experience working in estates after the children have taken what they want and allow us to handle the remainder. You just never know what you will find left behind.
There never seems to be enough hours in the day. If you are a caregiver, you know this better than anyone, for your schedule is not your own. Here are some suggestions I have learned along the way that might bring some “oxygen” to your life, so you can breathe again.
I find it hard to believe there is actually a word in the English language that could possibly describe what caregivers go through. There can’t be. What is experienced during the caregiving process is often a deep, emotional shift accompanied by confusion, frustration, even resentment for many.
We just completed 3 estate clean-outs in a total of 36 hours. For someone who is not familiar with the estate industry, this is pretty close to achieving the impossible, not to mention physically back-breaking and mentally grueling. Remember, failure is not an option!
Seniors who recognize their own responsibility in this matter and make the decisions themselves are practicing the best defense against family quarrels or exploitation in any guise!
Even though approximately 50 percent of elderly Americans are victims of financial exploitation, only 10 to 15 percent of the abuses are reported. Honor your parents by standing between them and anyone who sees them as an easy target.
I’ve always been a people watcher. My attention was drawn to a young lady wearing the most obscene pair of shoes. The heels were sky high and the toes were so pointy, I could feel the gout pain flaring up in my own big toe and bunion. I watched her walk with much difficulty, holding a stack of books in her arms.
It’s never an easy thing, searching for the positive when “you know what” is hitting the fan. Lately, a lot of it is hitting the fan for everyone I know. If it isn’t one thing, we get slapped down by another. I’m a great person! Why is everything going wrong?
If, by chance, you wish to remember me, do it with a kind deed or word to someone who needs it. If you do all that I have asked, I will live forever.