The Bottom Line on Greed

March 14, 2011 | Julie Hall

There’s a reason why greed is one of the Seven Deadly Sins. It eats people alive whether they realize it or not. The battle between good and evil has been around since the dawn of man. The Bible is filled with verses about such things.

It’s all about the desire to “possess.” Possess money, things, people, etc. It is natural for humans to want more. But, when is enough, enough? For some people, there can never be enough.

We see greed at every turn when settling estates. It is far more common than you realize. Our smaller homes aren’t good enough so we tear them down and build bigger ones, so we can fill them with more stuff. When a loved one dies, we are the first to take things from the estate, justifying that these things are a memento or sentimental.

Then we look at our own homes, and if our eyes are open, we realize we have too much, while there are those out there who have nothing.

Bottom line is: you can’t take it with you!

Start now by giving away things you don’t need, don’t want, or haven’t used in a while. So many people need your help and generosity, especially in economic times like these. Your gift can bring a smile to someone you may never see, but you will feel in your heart.

The Essence of Compassion

March 7, 2011 | Julie Hall

One of the most beautiful and important attributes a person can have is compassion. Sadly, we don’t see as much of it these days as we did back in our parents’ or grandparents’ lifetime. Call me old-fashioned, but I feel that compassion is desperately needed, both to be given as well as received every day. Let this serve as a reminder to all who read this how very blessed we are. We should spread those blessings wherever and however we can.

When dealing with our family members, especially through difficult times — times of change, times of illness and death, times of uncertainty — we should hold these words close to heart.

I don’t know who wrote this, but I have used it for many years and want to pass it along to you.

The Essence of Compassion

Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant with the weak and wrong … Because sometime in your life, you will have been all of these ….

“I know you paid $2,000 for it, but …”

February 28, 2011 | Julie Hall

If I had a dollar for every time I said this to a client, I would be a wealthy woman. It is a difficult occupation being an estate expert who specializes in personal property. They call it personal for a very good reason. When people go to sell their items, everyone gets very personal about them and feels they might be worth a fortune.

As one who has handled tens of thousands of personal items in my tenure, I can assure you very few pieces actually have truly significant value. I know you paid a considerable amount for that sofa, or candelabra, or sideboard, but in today’s market, that is a thing of the past. It’s a hard pill to swallow, I know.

The truth is, when times are good, people simply pay too much for things. Now, due to economic reasons, everyone is recycling personal property, buying at estate sales and auctions, and really saving a great deal of money not buying retail. When we hear clients lamenting the fact that they paid $4000 for a sofa and today can only get $600 for it, they want to know why!

In a nutshell, the styles have changed, the times have changed, younger women don’t like what the older women like, and we have too much supply of traditional furnishings as our older loved ones leave us. The more supply that comes on the market, the lower the prices will go.

So, hold onto your hat when you go to sell your furniture or traditional items. As hard as it may be to hear, remember … don’t shoot the messenger. I’m just doing my job to prepare you!

“Oh, I’ll Get to it One Day.”

February 14, 2011 | Julie Hall

The trouble is … “one day” never comes!

It’s fascinating what we professionals notice in our clients’ estates. For example, we do see a distinct similarity in almost all of the estates we go into, especially if the estate belonged to an elderly loved one from the Depression Era. The attics are usually full and the interesting thing is that 85% of them are full of things that really should have been disposed of 30+ years ago.

By the time we get into these attics to clear them out, the books are rotted and have been gnawed on, anything cardboard has pretty much disintegrated, clothing either smells like mildew or falls apart in your hands, or you find items that have long since been obsolete and no one has any use for them. If items of value were stored in the attic (which is a big no-no), chances are pretty good they have been damaged and the value greatly diminished. This is not always the case, but is generally what we find.

My assistant has a saying when we are working in the daunting attics, up to our elbows in stuff: “They were young when they put this stuff up there. By the time they finally figure out it has to be dealt with, they are 85 years old and can’t get up here anymore.”

So true. Time stops for no man and it does move rather quickly. We all have the best intentions of cleaning out the shed, garage, closets, cupboards … but if you continue to procrastinate and something happens where you or your loved one become incapacitated, it truly leaves a burden for the ones you leave behind. A bigger burden than you realize.

If you have had your sights on a project around the house which includes clearing out some “stuff,” make sure you know what it is worth before you sell it or give it away. It is better to clear out the clutter now so you can feel better about it and not worry. Believe me, your loved ones will really appreciate it one day.

JUST DO IT!

Beware of “CASH PAID FOR” Ads

February 7, 2011 | Julie Hall

It feels like the personal property world has gone a little bonkers. We have cable shows that demonstrate how to pick and make money off others who do not know the worth of their items, leaving the client feeling taken advantage of. We have people in the industry who are purchasing from their own estates. We have people who have lost their jobs and created overnight “estate liquidation specialist” companies, even though they have little experience.

Seller, BEWARE and BE CAREFUL. Use your scruples. Research the company through the Better Business Bureau, local colleagues, and professional organizations. Make sure you are dealing with someone who is recommended and is a trained professional.

I have long written and spoken on the importance of knowing what you have before you sell it, and that applies in today’s economy more than ever, when everyone is trying to make a buck off you!

Please don’t misinterpret my words. There are many estate experts out there who are truly outstanding at what they do, and ethical too! Even those who purchase from their estates, many are very fair. But like any other occupation, there are those who are not. The good ones are getting harder to find and are worth their weight in gold.

Everywhere in local papers you see, “Cash paid for antiques, collectibles, military items, etc.” Here’s my questions to you, the seller. How do you know that buyer offering cash isn’t offering you pennies on the dollar? How do you know that item he or she is offering $400 for is worth $20,000? Are you too eager? Are they sending red flags like “I’ll take it off your hands?”

Stick to your guns until you know what you are dealing with first, but you too must be fair. If an item appraises at $500, know you will not get that amount and it is unreasonable to expect that you would. Only the exceptional items are selling well in this market.

The majority of true collectors are pretty reasonable and have a tendency to offer a fair amount for an item. But someone who is in it to turn around and make money off the item(s) will often low-ball (not always, but they will try to increase their profit margin).

It is always worth getting a professional opinion, even if it costs a little bit — consider it a small insurance policy!

She was Having a Bad Heir Day

January 31, 2011 | Julie Hall

Joann and her brother were co-executors of their mother’s estate. One day, she decided she didn’t like how her brother was acting regarding the division of mom’s property. So she did what many heirs have done … however unthinkable it was … she asserted control over the issue in a not-so-nice manner.

I think you will agree she went about it all wrong! After I completed a consultation with her, she immediately called a locksmith and had all the locks changed so no one could get in the house but her. “My brother is not going to get the things he wants. He has ticked me off one time too many. I’ll show him … I’m going to get them before he does,” were her exact words. I hope my jaw didn’t drop too much.

Just when you think you’ve heard it all, she proceeds to move all the heirlooms out of mom’s house without notifying her brother of anything, and has them delivered to her storage unit.

This is the perfect example of how NOT to handle an estate unless you want to drain your finances for legal fees. Despite my repeated attempts to talk with her and offer her some sound advice, it fell on deaf ears. To me, it is complete disrespect for the loved one who has died, but this happens more frequently than even I care to admit. Scary, but very true.

My Christmas gift to you

December 13, 2010 | Julie Hall

Again this year, I’ve helped people understand the necessity of preparation before death, and helped them avoid battles over stuff after death. I have accumulated a wealth of understanding after nearly 20 years of experience handling personal property in estates.

My book, The Boomer Burden — Dealing With Your Parents’ Lifetime Accumulation of Stuff, provides practical and effective steps for liquidating and distributing your parents’ assets in a way that both honors them and promotes family harmony.

You’ve probably heard the stories: arguments over stuff, an inheritance lost forever when parents are scammed, siblings estranged, or an adult heir taken from daily responsibilities for months while trying to empty their childhood home.

This book is valuable for both senior adults and Boomer children. My trustworthy counsel covers the following areas:

Divide your parents’ estate with peace of mind
Minimize fighting with siblings during the estate settlement process
Clear out the family home in two weeks or less
Identify potential items of value in the home
Have “that conversation” with your parents
Prepare your own children for the future

Amazon.com carrys my book; you can purchase it in time for your family’s holiday celebrations. If you have a close relationship with parents and siblings, you owe it to all to keep harmony in the home after the unexpected death of a parent. If there are difficult relationships, distance between you and your parents, an accumulation of stuff in your parents’ home, and other thorny issues, please buy a copy of this book and save yourself even more pain and struggle.

One of the most distressing, yet integral parts of estate planning and liquidation is the division of personal property; who gets what? A vital conversation now can go a long way to prevent squabbling between the heirs after mom and dad pass away. For peaceful resolutions and wonderful guidance, please order The Boomer Burden. It has earned wonderful reviews, and it makes a great gift for siblings, parents, children, even clients.

This is my Christmas gift to your family: a wealth of information and valuable resources to protect the relationship, sanity, and peace among your family. The joy of preparation for the inevitable, and the kindness of knowing that everything is in order. Merry Christmas!

What should I keep when cleaning out Dad’s house?

November 29, 2010 | Julie Hall

Don’t sell, give away, or donate anything until a professional has looked at it. So many Boomers throw away or give away personal possessions worth a fortune, simply because they don’t know the values. Tell everyone “no” until the appraiser has reviewed everything. The cost to pay a personal property appraiser is nothing compared to what you could find, not to mention the peace of mind it will offer you!

Keep the following:

Anything that can provide family history.
Family heirlooms if they are wanted and will be cherished. Don’t force heirlooms on the children if their hearts aren’t in it.
Evaluate all items of perceived monetary value (hire that appraiser).
Some family photographs.
Items that are rare or unusual (some antiques fall into this category) IF someone has room for them and wants them. It’s ok to sell if no one wants them.
Jewelry — have it appraised first.
Items with historic significance — may donate if no family member wants them.
Important documents must be kept together until they are all sorted through by the executor.
Collections: gold, coins, guns, stamps, etc. Always have them evaluated by a professional.
Antiques, artwork, paintings, sculpture — must be evaluated by a professional.
Military items. Not only are these items sought after by collectors but may also be vital to family history.
Safes, safety deposit boxes, and their contents.
Anything you cannot identify.

Don’t take things just to take them. Select a few sentimental items that are small enough for you to use or display in your home. Great family and marital strife can develop if you take too much. Remember, the more you take now, the more your children will have to deal with later.

6 Big Mistakes People Make with Personal Property

November 8, 2010 | Julie Hall

Personal property and heirlooms — we spend a lifetime accumulating them, inheriting them, caring for them, collecting them, and talking about them. But we rarely know the values and we rarely make a plan for what happens to our personal property.

Here’s my list of the biggest mistakes. Hopefully, you don’t see yourself in this list.

1. Parents don’t share final wishes with their children. They don’t share vital documents, especially the will/trust, or at least tell the children where they are located.

Children are then left to guess the parent’s wishes, which is a very bad thing. Children live with guilt for the remainder of their lives, wondering if their “guess” was what mom and dad would have wanted. What a heavy load to carry!

2. Parents don’t make a plan for personal property. They don’t create a master list, or ask what the heirs would like to have. They definitely don’t gift any of their possessions while they are still alive.

3. Parents know that death and infirmity will certainly come, but they do nothing to anticipate or minimize fighting after they are gone.

4. Children have opposite opinions because the parents didn’t tell their wishes to the children. This starts fights and feuds that can last for the remainder of their lives.

5. Children are hasty with parents’ possessions. Heirlooms with significant value can end up in a dumpster or yard sale. They decline to hire a professional to ascertain what’s valuable before distribution and disposal.

6. Chilren have a tendency to give away, throw away, or donate before they know the worth of those items. Be leary of unscrupulous people who ask for a “memento” and go for the most valuable item, which you may or may not have valuated.

Did you see yourself in this list? If so, now is the time to take action and resolve these issues. As I’ve said before, you don’t want to become one of The Estate Lady’s sad stories!

“Mom has a friend…Maybe we’ll use her.”

October 4, 2010 | Julie Hall

Margaret called me from a Chicago suburb with a frantic tone in her voice. “We have all this stuff, and we don’t have a clue how to get rid of it! It looks like it might be junk, but there are some antiques in here too. What do we do? My mom has a friend who is sort of in the business. She’s dabbled in buying and selling for years. Maybe I should just hire her.”

Her words hit a nerve! It’s sort of like saying, “My brother got an A in dissecting, so why not let him do your brain surgery?”

I strongly urged her to hire a professional, and warned her about letting an untrained friend handle something as important as this. But she decided to go to her friend anyway, a decision that cost her dearly.

A month later, Margaret called me again, in tears. “I’ve made a horrible mistake, and I don’t know how to undo it. My mom’s friend didn’t know the true value of many of the items in the house and sold them for pennies. One local dealer contacted me to tell me the estate person charged $75 for a fine antique English Windsor chair that was worth about $800. An antique needlepoint sampler dated 1854 sold for $10, but should have sold for several hundred. I am eaten up with misery wondering how many other things got sold for next to nothing.”

Please get the right kind of help! Unscrupulous professionals come out of the woodwork at a time of crisis. Amateurs, even though they are friends or golf buddies or play bridge with you, are still amateurs! It may be costly to hire the right professional, but an amateur is much more “costly” in the end.