Timing is Everything When Downsizing

July 31, 2017 | Julie Hall

Sometimes the mind and the heart are simply not in sync, especially when it comes to the daunting task of downsizing. It seems the older we get, the harder the process of downsizing can be on us, as we have grown accustomed and comfortable in our surroundings. This includes the endless bric-a-brac, books, paper items, glassware and all the miscellaneous things in closets which seem to multiply when we’re not looking. We just keep buying, collecting and “stuffing.”

Procrastination or dragging our feet is a very human characteristic, but it is not at all helpful when many decisions need to be made and there is much to do. Hence, a blog about “timing.”

When it comes to downsizing, an up-close and realistic look at all we own is needed (no rose colored glasses here). Having a plan in place is necessary to ensure we remain on schedule and accomplish the items on the to-do list. Sticking to that plan is paramount for a smooth move and our sanity.

Sadly, what we experts see are distorted expectations, both in our client’s time frames as well as their possessions. They believe they can:

Empty a home,
Make all necessary decisions,
Get professionals lined up and organized,
Move and get settled in to their new place within a few short weeks.

They have forgotten they have been living in a home for 50 years and have large accumulations of items that need to be carefully sorted, distributed, sold, donated, discarded, etc. This does not happen in the blink of an eye.

We need to take into consideration:

The Timing to sort through and select what will be kept.
The Timing for family to come get what they would like to keep (set a deadline).
The Timing for an estate sale or partial sale.
The Timing for donation and finding the right charity to come pick up.
The Timing for a hauler or junk man.
The Timing for a handyman or other contractors to do their work.
The Timing when getting rugs cleaned or house painted.
The Timing to secure your valuables such as personal documents, jewelry, silver, etc.
The Timing for your own doctor’s appointments, meetings, etc.

None of these things should interfere with downsizing professionals or estate sale professionals, as they have a huge job to do and the proper space/time should be given to them so a good job is done for all.

There is a time for everything, and the time has come to part with possessions no longer used, needed or you know will not be claimed by loved ones. One cannot take a dining room table that sits 8 into a one bedroom assisted living apartment. That just doesn’t make good sense anyway you look at it. How miserable our clients are when they take too much, or furniture that is of a large scale going into a small residence!

For years I have seen clients struggle to: 1) make the decision to downsize and then 2) take the steps necessary to put this plan into action.

Even if you are just thinking about downsizing now, reach out to those who can help you begin the process. It is worth the extra time, money and effort to ensure the next move goes as smoothly as it can.

©2017 The Estate Lady® Julie Hall, The Estate Lady®, is a national expert in dealing with personal property in estates, including liquidating, advising, and appraising. http://www.TheEstateLady.com She is also the Director of American Society of Estate Liquidators®, the national educational and resource organization for estate liquidation. http://www.aselonline.com.
No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at julie@theestatelady.com.

Estate Experts Can Find Value In Places You Didn’t Even Think About

July 6, 2017July 6, 2017 | Julie Hall

Note the word “Expert” in the title. Hiring an expert will help you identify what you have in an estate, how to sell it, who are the best resources for selling and most of all, how to maximize what you have. Experts have trained eyes and detective noses that can uncover and discover what has value.

It’s Always Better To Be Safe Than Sorry

I was recently hired to consult on several estates which I will describe as modest. The furnishings were from the 1980’s and not of much value. The adult children were convinced there was nothing of value in the home and at first glance, I would have to agree. However, the daughter mentioned in passing that her parents were world travelers and never spent much money on household furnishings so they could travel.

World travelers for 60 years. Visions of far-away places. A light bulb went off in my head.

“Did your mom have any jewelry, silver, coins, etc.?” The daughter disappeared for a few minutes and brought back a huge box of jewelry and coins. She simply said, “ It’s all junkie stuff she bought in different countries.” I sat down at the table, a lamp near my head, my jeweler’s loupe and my jeweler’s scale.

Within 20 minutes, I felt like I found a small gold mine, literally.
I found more value in the jewelry in front of me than in the entire
rest of the house put together.

Much of the “junkie jewelry” turned out to be genuine gold from Asia, India and the Middle East. I was able to quickly identify other genuine antique gold and silver pieces that belonged to previous generations and offer them a time period and values so they understood what they had before making any decisions.

You see, in all the little nooks and crannies of these estates we do find treasures. You just have to know where to look and understand what it is you’ve found. This is one very important reason why you should always find out what you have before making any decisions with it, including giving it away or tossing it.

A second important reason is there are people out there who will attempt to take advantage of you. To avoid this, hire a professional who is honest and ethical and can either sell these items for you or find the right buyers who will pay well for your gold or silver. Don’t give it away or just sell it to any jewelry store on the corner. First, know what you have.

Sometimes the most value can be found in the little forgotten things you don’t give much thought to. Take it from one who knows.

It is a wonderful feeling when I get to deliver the news “It’s real and has value.” My clients light up and now have peace of mind knowing they did the right thing in hiring an expert. Seek out experts in your area, so you too can have peace of mind.

The Mysterious Case of the Antique Monogrammed Silver

April 19, 2017 | Julie Hall

An uncountable amount of antique monogrammed silver pieces have crossed my path in the last 25 years. Most of my clients have one thing in common; they do not know who the relatives were that owned the antique silver based on the monograms or how that silver came to be in their family.

When items of perceived value are passed down, it helps to know the name of the relative it came from, the time period it came from and the value so you can pass this along to your family members.

There’s only one problem with this…most of us don’t have that information.

Many of my clients cannot identify their long-ago relative or match that relative to the antique monograms on the assortment of silver they inherited. They just know it was “always in mom’s home.” Sometimes, their mother’s don’t even know where it came from or mom has passed away and that information is now lost. Often I will hear a client say, “I have no idea who ‘CHR’ was.” As an appraiser, I can help them identify the age of the silver and who manufactured it, but not who owned it.

It is not unusual for my clients to actively begin searching their genealogy tree or get connected with Ancestry.com, but the answer to the silver monogram mystery is rarely found there.

Perhaps it came from a relative by marriage that no one can recall, or two best girlfriends that exchanged their monogrammed silver spoons with each other as a symbol of their forever friendship.

This was common practice back in their era to offer a beautiful gift that the recipient would always cherish. In these two cases, the silver trickled down to my clients, never to be identified. Sometimes when I hold these spoons or serving pieces, I too, wonder who “Lilly” or “ADM” were and imagine the time period in which they lived. But the image in my mind is only speculation of the young women who once owned these pieces.

In many cases, there may only be a few odd, antique silver teaspoons that do not have much value. My Boomer clients say, “If it is not from a relative, or I didn’t know the relative, I really have no attachment to it” and the antique silver is generally sold to someone who will have more of a desire for it. These days, even if they do know the relative, many will opt to sell it because we no longer live in a formal society.

From pre-Victorian times to Edwardian, to Art Nouveau, to Art Deco, sterling silver has been considered a very important possession every young woman should have. As such, it was highly revered. Through the decades (or century), these sets have been divided among other relatives or friends that came long before you.

Will the mystery ever be solved? One never knows but if you have an imagination like me, you will conjure an image of an elegant young woman in a long, white linen dress who truly treasured her silver back in the day.

©2017 The Estate Lady ® No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at julie@theestatelady.com. Julie Hall, The Estate Lady®, is a nationally known expert on personal property in estates, including liquidating, advising/consulting, and appraising. http://www.TheEstateLady.com She is also the Director of American Society of Estate Liquidators®, the national educational and resource organization for estate liquidation. http://www.aselonline.com.

Giving While Still Living

April 16, 2015 | Julie Hall

Every estate plan should have a mandatory requirement: give away what you have (or at least part of it) while you are physically and mentally able to do so. It is so important to make sure things are done the way you would like them, instead of through an unsuspecting family member or friend, who could make poor decisions with your assets.

Sometimes, those chosen to make decisions, make very poor decisions; some based on greed and not putting the loved one’s wishes at the forefront. In some cases, the person chosen is just the wrong one to make these decisions; choosing wisely is half the battle. Sadly, some feel they are entitled and help themselves, or they do not communicate clearly with other heirs.

I have seen this scenario so often; it leaves me with chills every time I think about it. I have been brought into homes while mom is literally taking her last breaths. I would have declined the visit, if I had known. I have seen children steal while mom is sleeping in the next room (“She’ll never miss this.”) I have been discovered that children have showed up with moving trucks in the dark of night to take what they want, never to be heard from again. I have seen a woman steal jewelry from a dying girlfriend as she napped. Sigh …

It brings me great joy when I can bring light to dark situations. But what I can’t figure out is why people behave in this manner? How on earth can they sleep at night? I cannot imagine anyone doing such things and sleeping soundly.

My mind returns back to handling my own parents’ estate and how well my brother and I managed it. We split everything right down the middle, down to the penny, just as mom and dad wanted it to be. We loved them so much that we knew their money was first and always for their care. They were the priority and we made sure they had what they needed.

Looking back, I am glad that mom gifted some things to me while she was still living. When my father died last, I realized they had not gifted to my sibling, like mom did for me. So when dad passed, it was important that my brother have grandfather’s war medals of courage, dad’s jewelry and college ring, etc. It was only fair and that was the way we wanted it. Since our parents were no longer there, we carried on in the way they wanted us to treat each other.

For those who may be struggling with this issue, allow me to interject a powerful thought. With all the clients I have had in my career, I can assure you that the ones who

MAKE PLANS
STICK WITH THE PLAN, and
GIFT AHEAD OF TIME

fare much better than those who

DON’T PLAN
LEAVE OTHERS TO DECIDE FOR THEM, and
ANGER OTHERS.

SEIZE THIS MOMENT!

Gift to those who are special to you. If your gifts are significant, please talk with your attorney or CPA for guidance. If your gifts are sentimental, be as equitable as possible and give these items in person, so there are no questions later. This simple gesture will not only offer joy to someone you care about, but you will also simplify what has to be divided later.

Accept this advice from one who really knows!

Julie Hall, The Estate Lady®, is the foremost national expert on personal property in estates, including liquidating, advising, and appraising. http://www.TheEstateLady.com She is also the Director of American Society of Estate Liquidators®, the national educational and resource organization for estate liquidation. http://www.aselonline.com.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com.

Fighting Over the Same Heirloom

April 3, 2015 | Julie Hall

Problem: Two of my siblings are fighting over the same heirloom. How do you divide and keep it fair?

SOLUTION: When two or more are arguing over the same item(s), you have a few options. Beware, not all options will meet with approval. Begin by getting a personal property appraisal on the items that the heirs desire, including the items that are the subject of the fighting. This objective, third-party person will assign values that are fair, since they have no interest in the items.

Try to keep everything as equitable as possible to keep the peace! This also depends on what the will/trust specifies. If Sue gets a $5,000 item and Barbara gets a $200 item, that is not equitable. Arrangements must be made, whether in cash assets or other items, to make up for that $4,800 deficit.

One sibling can offer to buy the item from the others and take it out of their inheritance, if there is one. The price would be based on the appraised value.
If this item has significantly more value than other items in the estate, then that one choice will have to suffice until others get their pick of items and arrive at the approximate value.
If two people want a china set or silver flatware service, can it be divided? Sure, but know that from the perspective of an estate expert, it is not advisable. If this set were to be sold one day, it would be worth more to a collector/buyer if the set were intact and complete.
One heir simply “turns the other cheek” and forfeits to the other.
The two can write up an agreement and share the item, if it is practical to share. However, this only postpones that inevitable decision later in life. When the siblings die, the buck has been passed to their children to contend with the same issue.
If no one can agree and no one is willing to give in, the executor should consider selling the item through an appropriate selling venue and split the profits between all the heirs. Yes, the siblings will be upset, but that is more acceptable than resenting each other for the rest of their lives. If they remain in a tug-of-war, no solution provided is going to work.
What would mom or dad want? Would they approve of this tension? In most cases, the answer is a resounding NO. They would be disappointed. They trusted you to make decisions that they probably should have made when they were alive, but for whatever reason, they didn’t. You can’t go back; you can only go forward. Go forward, knowing what your parents would have wanted, and be fair to each other.
If nothing else works, you could always flip a coin and let the odds decide for you.

Realize that these situations can be highly charged with tension and emotion. Everyone is not going to be happy 100% of the time. There are very few instances where everything comes out flawless. Spare the relationships by keeping the peace.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com.

The Roses

March 26, 2015 | Julie Hall

Remember when we were little kids and our eyes went directly to the big, brightly colored, sugar-icing roses on our birthday cakes? Everyone fought over those colorful, sugary roses that contained enough fuel to shoot us to the moon and back, or at least until midnight when the sugar buzz finally wore off and we crashed wherever we landed. We were probably 5 or 6 years old, but already we had learned a lesson that would follow us throughout our lives.

The voice in our heads beckoned us to eat as much as possible including all those coveted roses. After all, “it’s my cake, my birthday! Why shouldn’t I have it all to myself?”

Mother’s quiet, yet serious tone forced me to share, and share equally among the other children at my party. “You have to be fair to everyone,” she would say.

But that just isn’t fair to me, I thought to myself. It’s my cake! I should have all of the slices of cake with the roses on them. (The roses were, and still are, my favorite.)

So it is with much of life. We all want the “roses” in life; that includes our loved one’s estates. You’ve had your eye on that antique grandfather clock, or mom’s diamond ring, or dad’s fishing lure collection for years. You believe you should have them, or perhaps they were promised to you long ago, so you just assume they will be yours one day. Then that “one day” comes and your siblings claim the same thing, so the trouble begins. Indeed, every rose has its thorn.

Until items are gifted to you in person prior to infirmity or death, or until there is a written plan for those heirlooms upon a loved one’s passing, you are entitled to nothing unless it is given to you. Even if you don’t end up with your beloved “rose,” remember that while we would like to have the majority of the cake, it’s good and appropriate to share as equally as possible, even if you feel it shouldn’t be that way.

I have seen with my own eyes good and poor behavior when dividing estates. Those who lead with kindness and care for others end up faring the rocky experience pretty well. Others will watch how you react, respond, and behave. Much to my surprise, they will usually follow suit, especially if the plan is laid out before them.

Make a pact that there will be no fighting. “Roses” are great, but peace is even better!

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com.

How to Select the Best Heirloom

January 22, 2015 | Julie Hall

This may be hard for some to believe, but when a loved one dies, the things I see are deplorable. Children, siblings, extended family, friends, and neighbors descend on the estate like flies. Seriously? A life just ended, and this is what people think about .. the stuff and the money.

In my career, I have truly seen the unthinkable; people hire me to uncover the most valuable items so they can choose those items before their siblings arrive (as I later found out). Children sneaking in the estate before the funeral, and even while the loved one was dying, to “help themselves.” I have seen neighbors or long-term friends approach the estate as if they were entitled, which makes me ill. I have seen families offer the caregiver a memento; then the caregiver uses their personal key to empty the house, literally, over the weekend, knowing the children are not there.

When did people get so calloused and mean-spirited? It is very hard to understand people’s actions. Everyone always seems to get greedy, hard feelings and resentment follow, and in the long run, no one is happy.

Here are a few helpful hints from The Estate Lady® to guide you in selecting an heirloom.

Selecting an heirloom(s) from an estate is a multi-fold process in your mind and in reality. First, think minimalist. Do not take just for the sake of taking. Remember that anything you take ultimately becomes a challenge for your children in the future. In making these decisions:

Keep in mind that selections are ruled by emotions/sentimentality/nostalgic ties to the person who just passed. Examples would be photographs, their eyeglasses, a favorite perfume … small mementos that have little value to anyone but you. NOTE: This does not mean pack up the entire estate and keep all small items. It means be prudent and hold on to smaller items that you truly cherish.
At some point, the emotional side must give way to logical consideration and reality. Separate the emotional from the realistic and see practical side.
- Will I really use it or can my sibling use it more?
- Will I have space for it?
- Is the cost to transport/ship too high to get it to my home? Don’t expect the estate to pay for shipping; arrange that on your own.
- Do I have to put it into storage? Think twice; storage gets very expensive.
Consider the condition of the item. Older items can have serious problems: insect eggs in antique rugs, items in poor condition now unusable, mold on items, odors from smoking/animals/mildew. You don’t want to bring these into your home, especially if you have allergies.

When our mom died, and my brother and I went back to their home to sort through things, I reached for this little gold tone frog with green eyes and solid perfume inside. I bought it for mom when I was 10 years old. I laughed every time I saw it, wondering why she kept it. One day I asked her. “Mom, why do you keep this silly little frog? I paid $1 for it when I was little.” She simply replied, “It always made me smile; I remember when you gave it to me.” Don’t you know I had to have that little frog?

This is how you make solid, knowledgeable selections from the estate. Not based on worth, because money means nothing. Chances are pretty good your children won’t want that 9 ft. tall Victorian secretary.

The value is in the heart and it will guide you! Turn the other cheek, be polite to each other, and put the memory of the person you lost before yourself to honor them. Friends and neighbors should step back, allow the family time to grieve, sort and make their selections first. Friends should not request anything unless the children offer it to them. If you can’t have a particular item, at least take a photograph and remember it that way.

It’s not the end of the world if you don’t get the item you want.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com.

Seven Attorneys for Seven Siblings

August 27, 2014 | Julie Hall

Consulting on an unusual estate recently, I was informed there were 7 beneficiaries, 4 of which were also co-executors. Can you imagine that many co-executors? What a nightmare! This estate also had personal property, which the family felt to be very valuable, but it wasn’t. There was a bunch of land to be divided, or sold and divided among the children.

Naturally, when you have that many cooks in the kitchen, everyone has different thoughts and opinions. This is why co-executors is not necessarily a good choice. In my opinion, estate settlement is much harder when you hand decisions to people who can’t come to a conclusion and end up fighting, or potentially going broke doing so. Some wanted the land intact; others wanted it subdivided. You can see where this story is going and it isn’t good.

The siblings had indeed reached an impasse. One long distance heir, who had little to do with mom while she was alive, was the first to get an attorney involved, then everyone else followed suit. It just gets messier from there.

I have been doing this for a very long time; I hope you don’t think I’m crazy when I share with you that people and their behaviors are getting worse. Their behavior is often out of control, along with other emotions, sometimes even getting physical. It makes me wonder.

What on earth could be so grand that it’s worth destroying themselves, as well as other relatives and relationships? Don’t these people know they are going to have to carry the burden of their decisions for the remainder of their lives?

Don’t get me wrong.

I’d love to have a slice of land or the proceeds from it.

Who wouldn’t?

But not at this cost.

It just isn’t worth it!

The attorneys will do their jobs well, and whatever inheritance there is will dwindle with legal fees.

Interesting observation: While the inheritance is decreasing, the emotions and angst will only increase and be prolonged, sometimes for the rest of the lifetime, long after the estate has been settled.

Is there anyone to blame in this scenario? Fingers can be pointed all day long. In the end, it comes down to the original decision maker who did not specify what should happen to the property and named so many co-executors. Big mistake which caused even more strife for those left behind.

I ask you plainly … Is it really worth it?

I couldn’t possibly make this stuff up!

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com.

Things We Find Left Behind

February 25, 2014 | Julie Hall

Treasure is in the eye of the beholder. What one person holds dear, another wants nothing to do with. This is true between elderly parents and their middle-aged children, and even grandchildren. The Depression Era generation doesn’t let go of much. They take great pride in their possessions, especially the ladies with their ornate silver plate pieces, painted china, and etched crystal that they cherished in another time and place.

We find a ton of handwritten notes intended for those left behind. We find them tucked inside vases, taped to the back of china or paintings, taped under sculptures and figurines. We find loose notes in desk drawers. Sometimes, we even find the notes laying right where the author left them before being struck with infirmity or death.

These notes are meant to guide the loved ones after their death and they often include a myriad of information: the history behind the item, the name of the person they are leaving it to, and my personal favorite … what they think it is worth. Many of these notes have yellowed with age and some are barely decipherable. To complicate the matter, this particular generation has a tendency to change their minds frequently, often creating multiple notes with mixed messages (probably depending on who ticked them off most recently – according to the children who read the notes). It is also possible they may forget and start all over.

Here is an example of one I just found:

Dated 1977

“In my antique chest, with the items I intend to give to Susan and Ralph. Top shelf – “Boy and two goats” Royal Copenhagen figurine and female Hummel. – $2,000 value

Second shelf – Royal Doulton Toby mugs and Hummel plates – $1,800 value

Third shelf – Carlsbad, Austria dish and crystal duck and cat – $300 value

To Robert and Sylvia – In the hutch – the smaller Hummel figurines, Venetian glass fish, crystal candle holder and small Royal Doulton figurine. – $1,500 value”

The list is quite extensive and goes on for a long time. Here’s what we need to know from this story:

These items were never distributed.
They were never distributed because no one wanted them.
They ended up in my hands to sell for the family and they will split the proceeds.

Do notes help? I think sometimes they do, especially when they offer personal history and IF you want to keep these items. Notes can also be removed or taken by unscrupulous heirs-to-be, and often we find more than one version of their notes, which claim different people can have the same item.

How do you handle that one? You write a formal addendum or document to place with your Will or Trust, and make sure there is only one copy, not multiples. Ask your attorney how to do this. Better yet, consider giving it away or selling these items, if the children don’t want them, before any of this takes place.

From my experience, many times the intentions of these notes are never carried out.

You can have the best intentions but if they are not carried through, it’s a moot point.

If you want someone to have somethings special of yours, give it to them while you are still able to do so.

Somewhere along the line, we have to break the habit of waiting until someone is “gone” to deal with all of this. Granted some people prefer it that way, but more and more, we are seeing a trend of people giving away or selling their items before they pass, to make it easier on their loved ones left behind.

Personally, I think the best notes we can leave behind are thoughts of joy and love, and not necessarily who gets what and how much items are worth. My favorite “possession” from my late mother is a letter she sent me stating how proud she is of me and how I have chosen to serve people, and may God bless me abundantly for doing so. It is a deeply personal note and one that I will always cherish. I would gladly let go of the material stuff I inherited from her, for this one note and memories of happy times. That’s the REAL inheritance!

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

Getting Your Affairs in Order is Not Just for the Elderly

June 17, 2013 | Julie Hall

In years gone by, I can recall that the majority of my clients were the elderly looking for help downsizing. Somewhere around 2003, that all changed and the calls coming into my office were coming from children looking for help handling their parents’ estates after they passed away or help cleaning out their estates.

Today, things have shifted once again. While I still work with the elderly occasionally, and certainly work with the boomer children who are the majority of my business, I see an ever-increasing (and hair-raising) trend of hearing from younger children whose parents have died unexpectedly in their 50s and 60s.

We all seem to be programmed that infirmity and death only occur in old age. Sadly, this is not the case. Perhaps it is wishful thinking on our part, or not wanting to think about it at all. But in my work, I am seeing more and more of my deceased clients are eerily close to my own age, and I never thought of myself as being old. I find myself thinking about my clients, and what they are going through, because most of their parents don’t take the time to plan ahead, especially when they are still relatively young. This throws the grieving children into more of a tail-spin because they may not have had “The Talk.”

Many children do not know what their parents’ final wishes are, nor how the estate is to be divided. They don’t even know if the parents have a Will or Trust. These are HUGE issues that weigh heavily on those left behind.

Estate Lady Tips:

Don’t do that to your children or beneficiaries. You are mortal and a plan has to be shared with loved ones. While you may not want to discuss this, you will feel much better after you do, and your children will thank you for it. They will be especially grateful when the time comes, realizing the care you took ahead of time to make their lives easier. Make an appointment to have a Will/Trust drawn up this week.
Don’t die in debt. This is a horrid situation. Suffice it to say you create a nightmare for those dealing with your estate.
Ask for an addendum to your Will so you can assign who gets what. Better yet, give it away while you are still living so there is less to fight about after you are gone.
Start clearing out your home now, even if you are young. Don’t let it accumulate or it will snowball on you. gain control of the house (and the piles of stuff we all have) and start clearing out. Once a month, drop off items to a charity, or arrange for them to come to the house for a pick up. Have yard sales for a little extra spending money. If you haven’t seen it or used it in a year, let it go.
Talk to your spouse and children about what you want. Both of my parents died without much warning. It’s a good thing they told us what they wanted and had the legal documents to back up their wishes. When the time came (and it did when I least expected it), I knew exactly what to do. I can still hear mom telling me, “Dad and I don’t want you to go through any more than you have to, because you will be going through enough when the time comes. We want to make this as easy as possible on you, and we have made these decisions ahead of time to remove additional stress placed on you.” This was music to my ears, not fully understanding the massive impact until I had to make a life and death decision for one of them. I still can’t believe how much love they had for us.

These are not easy things to do. Doing them sooner, rather than later, will change the way you think about these issues and make it much easier for you and your family in the future. Take it from one who sees this trouble everyday.

Resources from the Estate Lady:

To really learn how to clean out an estate, as a hobby or business, I have created a Professional Estate Clean Out course: http://www.aselonline.com/professional_estate_clean_outs.html
My practical, solutions-based, no-nonsense guide for equitable distribution: http://www.amazon.com/Divide-Familys-Heirlooms-Peacefully-Sensibly/dp/0984419128/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1371476056&sr=8-1&keywords=How+to+divide+your+parents+estate