The Estate Lady

Throwing Money Away Literally

| Julie Hall

WHY A SYSTEMATIC APPROACH IS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY WHEN CLEANING OUT AN ESTATE

Recently, I was asked to handle the daunting task of emptying a hoarder’s home. The home owner had passed away in the home. The sole heir, who lived several states away, required assistance to identify items of value, discard tons of garbage, sort through the piles, etc. The heir’s goal was to empty the home so the real estate could be sold. For anyone walking into this home, myself included, it would be considered an overwhelming situation, let alone for an heir who has no knowledge of how to proceed.

I agreed to do the job. We went in and systematically approached the entire estate, attacking the most dubious areas first. Handling a hoarder’s estate is, quite literally, an archeological dig. We unearth one layer at a time. We work through the system, we follow the proper process that we have perfected, we sort as we go, and we report back to the heir/executor what we find. In short, if there is something of value hidden, we will find it for the family. Sadly, much of what we find that used to have value no longer has value, because it has been destroyed from being buried for decades, exposed to critters, relentless fungi, deterioration, etc.

I don’t mind sharing with you that this was a grueling job, even for this professional with decades of experience. Progress was slow since the home was in very bad shape with rodent nests and “evidence” of them, and the home smelled. Naturally we took all health precautions, but it is difficult especially early in the process because there is no room to sort, organize, etc. Room by room, we used the same method; over the course of 9 days we found some pretty spectacular things.

Our systematic approach might seem overkill to some, but had we not taken our time to go through a logical sequence and particular order, we never would have found over $40k in cash (in places that another clean out company would have just discarded without looking, or donated without taking the time to search every nook and cranny). We found an extensive coin collection, cash, some jewelry, sterling silver hidden in a cubbyhole no one knew was even there. We found guns and what I call “uniques & oddities” that were just fascinating to uncover.

Imagine us heading into a walk-in attic that was up to our elbows and higher in places! Clearly, the elderly client had not thrown anything away for generations. While the digging part and the smelly part and finding the dead critters part were less than thrilling, someone had to do this for the client; it might as well have been my company.

While I was totally focused working in this estate, I had several very important thoughts I would like to share with you.

1. How fortunate for the client, and the attorney representing this client, that they chose a professional who was honest. That cash would have and could have easily disappeared if they chose an estate person who was unethical and unprofessional. When I took that money to the law office, they knew they were dealing with a person of integrity. One has to earn their impeccable reputation.
2. Thankfully, we do have a systematic approach in place to uncover everything. What if we had mistakenly thrown away the cash? What if we never found it and it ended up in the dumpsters?
3. You get what you pay for. If you hire a clean out company that just throws things away, you could be making a grave mistake.
4. For Do-It-Yourselfers: There’s nothing wrong with this approach. However, you can become emotional, creeped out, and overwhelmed, and decide to start throwing items away quickly to get finished.  I spend a lot of time pulling things out of the trash that my clients have thrown out, because they don’t know the values.

The moral to the story: It took more than one lifetime to create the mess we “un-created” in a little over a week. Most families could never have finished in so short a time if they did it themselves, and would certainly have made unintentional mistakes which could have been costly. Search for and research any estate company you are thinking about using. They are worth their weight in gold if they have a great reputation!

©2014 The Estate Lady®

Julie Hall, The Estate Lady®, is the foremost national expert on personal property in estates, including liquidating, advising, and appraising. http://www.TheEstateLady.com  She is also the Director of American Society of Estate Liquidators®, the national educational and resource organization for estate liquidation. http://www.aselonline.com.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent.  Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

The Mother

| Julie Hall

What a very strange place to build a nest!  The top of our old, abandoned basketball hoop post is not exactly my idea of a safe place to raise babies, especially because the nest was built inside the open top of the pole hole.  It’s safe from most predators because it is 8 feet up in the air.  The parents take turns keeping watch so they are also safe from birds of prey as well.  But a long, hollow pole for a teeny, tiny nest?

Suddenly, my delight changed to concern.  I watched, completely fascinated, from inside my car parked in the driveway, as the tiny mom and dad dove down inside the top of this metal pole to feed the chirping babies.  It must get really hot in there for those babies, I thought to myself, especially here in the warm south with a temperature of 90 degrees yesterday.  What if the nest fell all the way to the bottom, inside the pole?

The sky turned gray and I heard a rumble of thunder.  The rain started as a trickle first, then gradually came down harder until it was a good downpour.  Still in my car, windshield wipers on full speed, I watched as the two parents emerged from the top of the pole, looking as if they were ready to take off.

Dad flew to the top of the hoop and stood guard, but it was what mother did next that made me wish I had my video camera handy.

With the delicate grace nature gives her, she balanced on the top rim of the opening as if she would go back in with her babies.  But instead, she hovered, extending her wings, stretching them as far as they would go and acting as an “umbrella” for her offspring.  Was she cleaning herself, using the rain to take a shower, or was she protecting her babies from potentially drowning?  I know nothing of birds or their habits, but it certainly looked like she was protecting them, with dad watching over his mate and babies.

It dawned on me that all good mothers do this.  As mothers, we spend at least 18 years of our lives with our wings extended, as if to say, “Nothing’s going to happen to my child with me here.”  We too have a natural instinct to surround, protect, keep safe, stand guard against anything bad that comes near our children.  We nag … they chirp.  We yell … they squawk.  We hug … they extend their wings.

We shelter our “babies” from sinking into a bad place, and if they do fall, we go down there with them and pull them back up.  It’s what moms do.  When the time is right, just like mother bird, we have to push them out of the nest too, so they can learn to be self-sufficient.  How else will they learn?

My mom is gone now, but somehow she is never too far away.  At times, I swear I can hear her whisper guidance in my ear, tell me she loves me and she’s proud of me, or remind me that each new day brings new things and not to be afraid of tomorrow.

My mom was just like that momma bird.  She protected us fiercely, and when the time was right, she let us fly, because she knew she had done her job correctly and prepared us for what lay in front of us.

I miss her so much it hurts.  Remember your mom this weekend and be ever mindful of all she did, has done, and will continue to do for you in life as well as in death.  If she is still living, there is a huge blessing in that.  And if she has passed on, the blessing now sits inside of you for having known her.

God bless all mothers everywhere!

©2014 The Estate Lady®

Julie Hall, The Estate Lady®, is the foremost national expert on personal property in estates, including liquidating, advising, and appraising. http://www.TheEstateLady.com  She is also the Director of American Society of Estate Liquidators®, the national educational and resource organization for estate liquidation. http://www.aselonline.com.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent.  Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

“Buster”

| Julie Hall

If you are squeamish about critters, cleaning out an estate is just not recommended.  Just as we inhabit a home, our little friends (furry and 8-leggers) inhabit right along with us.  We just don’t think about it, because we don’t see them.  An occasional spider and other insects are normal, and believe it or not, little field mice are near in proximity too, unless you have a cat.  I’ve even had a client who lived symbiotically with a huge black snake she named “Frank,” because Frank took care of all the little mice in and around the house.  The client went so far as to explain that “Frank” was a far better companion to her former husband because Frank never was in a bad mood, complained, or hogged the remote!

Handling as many estates as I do, we have become accustomed to dealing with our little friends.  We find them too often and, most of the time, they want nothing to do with us and just go away.  We prefer it this way!  But I have to tell you about my experience with a mouse.

My assistant, who has been with me over a decade, was opening boxes in the attic of a 1930s estate.  Together we were up there sorting through what could be saved or sold, and bagging up what was clearly garbage.  When boxes have been up there as long as these had been, everything becomes brittle and starts to disintegrate in your hands.  She held up an old Xerox box with the lid open to show me there were old mason jars inside and nothing else.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw pink fluffy stuff (which turned out to be insulation material), shredded pieces of newspaper, and small bits of fabric formed in what looked like a bowl.  Just as I started to tell her that it looked like a mouse nest, and to be careful, the biggest mouse I ever saw climbed up, balanced itself on the rim of the box, and attempted to stare me down!  She was very big around the middle, and clearly we had disturbed her soon-to-be birthing place.

In a split second, with neither myself or my assistant freaking out, the mouse leaped from the edge of the box, with the grace of Greg Louganis dismounting a diving board.  I had never seen such speed and agility.

It all happened so fast there was no time to shriek or freak.  The mouse flew through the air like the man on a flying trapeze, landed with a small thud on my bust, and had the audacity to use my chest as a trampoline for her final dismount.  As soon as she hit the ground, she was gone.  Not even a bow did she take.  Just a dirty look and who could blame her?

As with all strange things we find in estates, we had to give her a name.  There could be no better name than “Buster.”  To this day, we affectionately recall Buster and Frank, and the variety of other critters that cross our paths, making each new estate experience far from boring.

©2014 The Estate Lady®

Julie Hall, The Estate Lady®, is the foremost national expert on personal property in estates, including liquidating, advising, and appraising. http://www.TheEstateLady.com  She is also the Director of American Society of Estate Liquidators®, the national educational and resource organization for estate liquidation. http://www.aselonline.com.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent.  Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

Surely, You Jest!

| Julie Hall

As you can imagine, I receive all kinds of emails searching for answers, needing guidance, and some which also center around “How much is my stuff worth?”  But every once in a while, I get an email that just about knocks me off my chair.  Here’s a sample:

“Everything I own is very expensive and worth a fortune.  I know this because I pay a fortune for quality.  I have unique and very expensive collections, including a large assortment of cut glass pieces.  All of these currently sell on E-bay for high amounts and a lot of them could sell in the $1,000s.  I also have a collection of collector plates that are worth several thousand dollars.  I have a Hummel collection worth at least one thousand dollars.  I have a shoe collection worth thousands of dollars.  I have several other smaller collections that are worth thousands.  Even my older furniture is worth thousands.  Can you sell them for me?”

Surely, you jest!  While I always do my best to assist and even educate my clients so they can empower themselves to make the right decisions, there are some people I just can’t help.  They won’t or can’t accept the whole picture.  This person is one of them.

Despite my best intentions, you just can’t squeeze blood from a turnip.  The market will bear only what it will bear, and their cut glass or shoes or Hummels are really not that much different from the rest of ours.  It is unfair to apply this kind of unreasonable thinking and pressure to a professional in the industry, who can only do their best in a very soft market.  Often the blame and complaint lands on the estate professional, when in reality we have done our best, and our best just wasn’t good enough for the client.  Some of this will fall back on how well we discussed “expectations” of what things will sell for.

Other reasons for the motivations behind selling are numerous.  Perhaps this person needs immediate financial relief from the sale of those items.  Perhaps the person is not well.  Maybe they really do believe their things are worth a fortune because they paid so much for them.  As you’ve heard me say before, what you paid for something means nothing now.  If I invest several hundred dollars in designer shoes, in the end, they are USED SHOES, designer or not.

Perhaps she doesn’t want to see it, but I wouldn’t be The Estate Lady® if I didn’t reply with my usual flair.  So, I gathered my senses, did some sales comparables online which I could share in the form of “SOLD” prices, in easy links they could click on.  I wanted to show them ever so politely, that their things were not worth what they originally thought.  They are not selling for thousands.  They are selling for $25, maybe a little higher or lower.  I get the feeling they didn’t like that.

It took me a lot of time to find and send that information to them; I never heard back from them.  I guess they just weren’t ready to hear what I had to say.  I silently lifted up a quick prayer that no matter what challenges they were experiencing, someone out there could be more help to them than myself.

Unfortunately, someone like that will never change their thinking no matter how much proof is offered.  Many years and ample experience have taught me they would only be upset with me, even if I did my very best.

I wish them well.

©2014 The Estate Lady®

Julie Hall, The Estate Lady®, is the foremost national expert on personal property in estates, including liquidating, advising, and appraising. http://www.TheEstateLady.com  She is also the Director of American Society of Estate Liquidators®, the national educational and resource organization for estate liquidation. http://www.aselonline.com.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent.  Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

Mr. Lee and Mr. McGee

| Julie Hall

When I close my eyes and remember the times with Mr. Lee and Mr. McGee, it doesn’t seem so long ago.  In reality, it was over half a lifetime ago when these two older gentlemen helped sculpt me into The Estate Lady® I would eventually become.  Way back in my mid-20s, I discovered quite by accident that I had a knack for buying and selling antiques.  While it was a risk at such a young age, newly out of college and on a strict budget, I decided to commit to renting a booth in an upscale antique mall for six months.  It just so happened it was their upscale antique mall.

As each week passed, I noticed more and more of the items I was selling were gone from the glass case, so naturally I was thrilled they were selling.  Little did I know that two of the owners of this vast and expensive mall were watching me.  One day, as I finished putting more new items into my glass case, Mr. Lee and Mr. McGee approached me and asked if we could talk.

As an extrovert, I rarely meet a stranger, yet I was intimidated by these two who had accomplished so much in life.  Both had been in the business over 40 years.  Both were successful; both knew so much.  Here I was, knowing very little, being steered by gut instinct only, and feeling like a little mouse wondering what they could possibly want from young, inexperienced me.

They took me to their finely furnished office, offered me a beverage, and watched me squirm in the big leather chair.  You can imagine the thoughts racing through my head!  Mr. Lee was a kind older man, born in Hong Kong, but raised here in the United States.  Mr. McGee was an older southern gentleman.  They began the conversation by complimenting me on my booth and wondering where I found my treasures.  After a nice and comfortable time together, they sincerely took me under their wings and shared some invaluable insight I will never forget, that I would like to share with you.

Here’s what they said to me:

“Kid, you were born with the eye.  Very few people are born with this gift.  So when you go out into the world and use it, you need to use it well and earn it.  Much will be asked of you through the years and you will be tested at every turn.  But always remember to walk a straight line.  If you can walk this straight line, people will talk about you.  They will refer others to you.  They will love you for what you can do for them, because they are completely overwhelmed.  Remember this conversation because it will make your or break you.”

Now in my 50s, I think back to that time and realize that little meeting with them was a tremendous gift to me.  A gift of guidance and affirmation.  A gift of direction and how I can serve my clients.  Hindsight is an incredible thing when all the pieces click together.  They were right on all accounts.  Much has been asked of me in the last 25 years, and I did my best to always deliver.  Temptation is everywhere, but I steered far away from it.  Honesty and ethics are always at the forefront.  Because so few possess it, I stood out among them.  Old fashioned and 19th century thinking?  Perhaps, but it’s the secret to my success.

From that moment to this, I never forgot what they told me.  Both of them are gone now, but they left an impressionable young lady with something she could never pay for, because it was priceless.

From the beginning of time, there has always been good and evil.  In today’s society, we need to be extra careful of the professionals we select to help us, whether it’s handling an estate or remodeling a bathroom.  Always look for someone who walks a straight line.  Always listen for the good people say about them.  Research these business owners who mean to serve you.  Make sure they are credible, professional, and the cream of the crop.

Why would you settle for anything less?

©2014 The Estate Lady®

Julie Hall, The Estate Lady®, is the foremost national expert on personal property in estates, including liquidating, advising, and appraising. http://www.TheEstateLady.com  She is also the Director of American Society of Estate Liquidators®, the national educational and resource organization for estate liquidation. http://www.aselonline.com.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent.  Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

Inspiration of the Week: Find a Way or Make a Way

| Julie Hall

He’s a Southern gentleman in his 70s and the father of a dear friend of mine.  John has no idea that he serves as a great inspiration to many … that’s how genuine he is.  To this humble, salt-of-the-earth man, he is just as happy to get up each day and fill it with as much as he can, until he does it all again tomorrow.  He won’t sit still for very long because “there is always something that needs to be done, so I get up and do it.”

I should preface the story by saying that John has a heart condition, but he never lets anything even remotely slow him down.  Having retired a year or so ago, he was determined to attain at least two personal goals:

  1. To not end up with a debilitating illness that rendered him helpless, and
  2. To find a way to make a little extra money to pay his bills, like so many other Americans in his shoes.

John has what I call moxie, or a determined spirit, and a common sense intellect that few possess today.  He comes from the good old days, when hard work and thinking things through produced income.  You would either find a way or make a way.  In fact, he said to me, “Julie, money can be made in lots of ways.  Even if I get paid $5 for something, that’s $5 I didn’t have before.  But you have to be willing to work for it.”

How does John make extra money?  John lives in a small town and listens to a local radio station that reads the classifieds over the airwaves.  You can buy and sell on this radio station.  So John started buying older appliances like refrigerators, freezers, and stoves.  He brings them home, cleans them up, and resells them that week or the next.   It’s the quickest turnaround I’ve ever seen for someone not in this industry!

John’s strategy is simple; he buys several appliances a week for $50 to $100 each.  He resells them on the same radio show, with no advertising costs, and delivers them within a 30 mile radius.  He doubles and sometimes triples his money within a few days, with no overhead.  Now that’s smart!

He knows that not all people can afford, or want to afford, a $2,000 stainless steel refrigerator.  “People have to watch their spending these days,” and he’s spot on.

For those wanting to make extra money, you may want to think along the same lines as my friend.  Find a need that people have that has not yet been filled, and fill it.  He delivers these appliances to some of his older clients who would have trouble getting them otherwise … smart guy with old-fashioned know-how!  What John is doing is spreading by word of mouth in his community; he does not want to get too big because he is a one-man operation and likes it that way.

We all need to take a life lesson from him.  He’s retired, has a heart condition, and nothing has stopped him.  He’s put a good amount of money in his pocket using nothing but his brain and his brawn.  God bless you, John.  Keep it up because you are an inspiration to many!

©2013 The Estate Lady®

Julie Hall, The Estate Lady®, is the foremost national expert on personal property in estates, including liquidating, advising, and appraising. http://www.TheEstateLady.com  She is also the Director of American Society of Estate Liquidators®, the national educational and resource organization for estate liquidation. http://www.aselonline.com.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent.  Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

How Did You Become “The Estate Lady?”

| Julie Hall

It is a question I am asked often; each time I have to smile to myself, knowing the course of events that transpired to get me into the estate business and evolve with it.  Allow me to preface this by saying I don’t think I chose “it”.  I think “it” chose me.

Wilma was 103 years old.  While I had dabbled in the buying and selling of antiques back then (25 years ago), she had heard about me and invited me over for advice on what to do with her beautiful European residential contents upon her death.  She said she was “ready for the hole” which I found amazingly blunt, but she was honest and genuinely worried about her things, as to not be a burden to anyone once she was gone.  She had outlived her husband and children.  We agreed I would return in a couple of weeks to discuss options, etc.

Upon my return, her beautiful home looked like a carnival had just trampled through it.  You can imagine my horror when it was clear to see that her neighbors and so-called friends came over and helped themselves, breaking fine rare German figurines in the process and leaving debris behind for her to clean up.  They had purchased her sterling, antique furniture, antique clocks, etc. from her for a dollar, $5, a few bucks here and there, and her possessions were worth a small fortune … tens of thousands at that time.

It was, for me, a moment of truth – an epiphany, if you will – about the inner workings of human nature.  Truly, I was disgusted by what I saw, and felt both a deep sorrow for her, as well as a disdain for the people who had done this to her.  How could they do that?  We’re supposed to protect those who can’t protect themselves.  From my best recollection, I lifted a silent prayer thinking about all the Wilma’s out there that needed advocates, to protect them from these unscrupulous people who knew her for decades and still totally took advantage of her, with little regard for their actions.  It was unconscionable.

She asked me if she had been taken advantage of, and I looked her straight in the eyes and said, “Yes.  I am afraid so.”  She nodded, knowing what had really happened and thanked me for my honesty.  What she said next was what led me to this industry and to my life’s calling.  “We old folks really need an estate lady like you!”  And right there, sitting on her remaining green velvet antique sofa, the light bulb went off and I received my life’s instructions.  “The Estate Lady” was born.  I quit a cushy pharmaceutical job and went to work for myself, figuring if I was working this hard for them, I might as well work this hard for myself.  It was a tremendous leap of faith.

From that moment to this, there have been many, many obstacles, plenty of tears for what I see in the industry (both good and bad), lots of sweat equity and even blood spilled due to its physical demands.  My back is riddled with arthritis and my once beautiful hands show the signs of hard work.  BUT … I’ve never once looked back.  I’ve never regretted a thing.  I am not rich, but in so many ways I am, because my clients allowed me into their lives.  They shared their secrets and pain, and somehow, no matter how small or large, my compassion, skills, and presence made a difference in their lives.  That is what allows me sleep like a baby every night, knowing I have served so many to the best of my ability.  It is the driving force of my spirit.

If you know someone interested in pursuing this industry, share this link with them: http://www.aselonline.com/index.html.  They can expect lots of hard work with little glamour.  But if they are looking for a career in an industry that serves so many, and are willing to work hard and earn a decent income, it becomes a win-win.

Not everyone is cut out to do this kind of work.  It takes the kindness and compassion of a minister, combined with the grit of John Wayne.  If this sounds like you, I would encourage you to explore it.

I cannot imagine doing anything else with my life!

©2013 The Estate Lady®

Julie Hall, The Estate Lady®, is the foremost national expert on personal property in estates, including liquidating, advising, and appraising. http://www.TheEstateLady.com  She is also the Director of American Society of Estate Liquidators®, the national educational and resource organization for estate liquidation. http://www.aselonline.com.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent.  Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

Ashes to Ashes

| Julie Hall

It was one of those estates where you could cut the tension with a knife.  It wasn’t necessarily the fault of the last remaining parent who had just died.  It was her son, who was (to put it mildly) a massive pain in the butt.  He was spoiled, discourteous, disrespectful, and just not what you would consider a good person.  Those who know me would tell you I am an exceptional judge of character, whether it be from an intuition I seem to have inherited from mom, or just decades of observing and working with the good and bad side of human nature.  So, how bad could this son really be?

Well, let’s just say he demanded that I sell mom’s very personal items that we would normally dispose of, or wash and donate.  He dug into our donation boxes that had already been taped shut.  “I want every cent I can get out of this estate, so I want you to sell everything including her underwear.  Then I want you to low-ball the values so I don’t have to pay too much in taxes.”  Can you believe this?  Unfortunately, he was serious.

He was a man of significant financial means and was getting ready to inherit much more.  If selling mom’s undergarments wasn’t strange enough (which I refused to do because I believe in preserving the dignity of those no longer with us), we found cremated remains of his father, who had died two decades before, in a foyer cabinet.  As always, I handle remains with much care when we find them.

After consulting with the attorney handling the estate, it was determined that this son should take care of the remains.  When I handed the box of cremated remains to the son, he literally assumed a bowler’s position and threw the box, from several feet away, under the kitchen sink with the Windex and Comet.  Oh my gosh!  If I had not been there to see it, I never would have believed it.

I managed to get the son out of the estate and rescued the remains from the household chemicals.  After reporting this to the lawyer, we decided I should deliver “Mr. Smith’s” remains to the lawyer, who would try to find another family member to scatter the ashes as Mr. Smith wished.  It was the right thing to do.

I vaguely remember telling the law firm that if they could not find a family member, please let me know and I will scatter Mr. Smith.  I felt horrible that this man’s wishes were never fulfilled and that his remains were treated with such disrespect.  Years later, I received a call from the law firm asking me if the offer was still on the table to scatter Mr. Smith.  No family member would come and get him.  Struck speechless and trying to recall this estate from my long-ago memory, I simply replied that I would be happy to honor the last wishes of this man who clearly had no one who would do it for him.

The spoiled, uncaring family, who wasn’t willing to tend to his remains but more than willing to take his money, was a no-show, despite the best efforts of the law firm to come and get Mr. Smith.  It was then legally arranged for me to do this.  I saw to it that Mr. Smith got his final wish, praying over his ashes as a stranger, but one who clearly cared more for him than his own family.  I would want some kind soul to do the same for me.

For decades, his remains floated and were thrown around.  It was time they were released, and they were.  In a gorgeous area and on a perfect day, this stranger lifted a prayer for him, but silently cursed his son under my breath.  I know I should have been a better person than that, but seriously, how low can one go?

Sorry to quote Forrest Gump, but “Sometimes there just aren’t enough words.”

©2013 The Estate Lady®

Julie Hall, The Estate Lady®, is the foremost national expert on personal property in estates, including liquidating, advising, and appraising. http://www.TheEstateLady.com  She is also the Director of American Society of Estate Liquidators®, the national educational and resource organization for estate liquidation. http://www.aselonline.com.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent.  Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

Simple Yard Sale Becomes Eye-Opener

| Julie Hall

All of us can relate to the ever-growing piles of stuff in our homes and I am no exception.  One day, you’re forced to do a double-take as you scan a room and realize, “Oh my, when did this happen?”  It hit me a couple of months ago and I decided to gather it all up – all the stuff I’m not using or haven’t used in the last couple of years – and have a yard sale with a good friend of mine.  Why not sell it at very reasonable prices to those who want it or need it, and make a little extra money while thinning out my home?  It sounded like a win-win to me.

Most of you know I got my start as an estate liquidator and have been in this business well over 20 years, so this would be a slam dunk for a pro, right?  My friend and I got together all kinds of goodies ranging from antiques and collectibles, to vintage items and some nice household items too.  None of it was junk.  Since both of us wanted to sell these items, we made sure these items were priced very reasonably.  So reasonably, in fact, that you couldn’t even buy them new at Wal-Mart for the prices we set on clothes with tags still on them, kitchen ware, etc.

Since both of us know the industry well, we put on a great spread.  The tables were perfectly lined up and the items were displayed nicely.  So many unusual items that dealers would have loved to buy and resell on Ebay.  The advertising went out flawlessly to 1,500 of my personal client emails, as well as the local newspaper and Craig’s List.  Everything was set to go, or so we thought ….

Much to my surprise and chagrin, when we opened at exactly 7 am, only 9 people were in line.  Only 9!  I remember thinking how weird that was, justifying in my mind that attendees must be at other nearby sites and would come in flocks later on.  As is the personality of a sale, people first come in droves, then a quiet and steady flow, then a little slower, then another wave.  I could predict by looking at my watch when each phase would occur, just by observing the flow of people.  It’s been this way my entire career … until today.

A few here, a few there.  No major groupings of buyers.  People trickled in all morning, but very few bought much; certainly not the frenzied energy of sales in the past.  Something was very wrong and I tried to figure it out while sitting next to my friend.  It was a drawn out, painful process, since we knew we had great items at great prices, did our due diligence with advertising, the location was desirable in my city.  From running down the mental check list, everything was done correctly.

Suddenly my friend turned to me and said, “What’s going on, Julie?  Something doesn’t feel right.  Where is everyone?  Why are they struggling to part with a dollar?”  (A woman just bought a new shirt with the original price tag of $39.99; we sold it for $4 but she wouldn’t pay more than a dollar.)  My friend and I just sat there, scratching our heads.  It wasn’t our sale or the things we had.  We did everything right, but what wasn’t right was the energy people brought into the sale.  It was sad and low, and not the usual jovial energy these treasure hunters normally exuded.

You could tell the dealers were not there in large groups as usual, and the dealers who did come did not buy much because “we aren’t selling much.”  I had seen it with my own eyes.  After all these years, the economy, while appearing to hold on, was in deeper trouble than most realized.

You could see the worry and anxiety on everyone’s face and the struggle to part with just a little bit of money, even though they were getting great deals.  There were a handful of buyers that were serious and clearly had the money to buy large quantities of items, but most could not.

People will always buy, and things will always sell, but just not for the prices they used to … at least not at the moment.  As an intuitive individual, I am sensitive to others’ energy and I know that what I felt and experienced from them was real.

People are in real trouble out there.

Life always amazes me.  You can go into something with a certain mindset, like having a simple yard sale for things you no longer need.  You come out of it a kinder, more understanding person, because you had firsthand exposure to those less fortunate than yourself.  I don’t know what will happen, but my prayer is for everyone, and for things to improve rapidly.

©2013 The Estate Lady®

Julie Hall, The Estate Lady®, is the foremost national expert on personal property in estates, including liquidating, advising, and appraising. http://www.TheEstateLady.com  She is also the Director of American Society of Estate Liquidators®, the national educational and resource organization for estate liquidation. http://www.aselonline.com.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent.  Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

“Dear Dad” (part 2)

| Julie Hall

Part 2

Here are the words a daughter used to encourage her father to face fears of dementia.  You can also watch as Julie reads her letter for her father: http://youtu.be/7yrzE6lGHic

Dear Dad,

I love you and mom more than you could ever know.  We don’t say it every day, but it is always there, always in our hearts.  I was just thinking how odd it must be for you to be seeing multiple doctors, because you never did care for them much, but as you say, “the body is starting to wear out.” 

I recall a conversation you and I had recently at your dining room table one morning.  You told me “not to get old.”  Well dad, I really want to get old; may God bless me with a long and fruitful life.  I have so much to do, so much to learn, and so much to give back.  Mostly, I have much to live for — a beautiful family, where I would love to see my daughter grow and flourish, and see her children find their way into this world.  I want to grow old by my husband’s side — wrinkles, aches, and all.  I can see myself as a frumpy old lady in my garden, talking to the birds and an old cat.

In a world where money and material possessions are priorities, I learned at a young age that those things are great to have, but do not bring happiness or guarantee anything good.  It’s all about the relationships we build and sustain that are important.  I believe that when we leave this place, we take only what we have accrued during our lifetime: important lessons, love for family and friends, good times.

Dad, you confided in me that your memory is not what it used to be and that it has you worried.  It is very important to share this with Dr. Jones so he can give you the appropriate tests to rule out certain causes.  I am a little concerned about your memory, because you are concerned.  There are many reasons why memory can become foggy, and many of the reasons are fixable. 

Mom said you cancelled your doctor appointment, but how can you nip this in the bud if you keep cancelling appointments?  If the shoe were on the other foot, and it was me, mom, or brother, wouldn’t you encourage us to get to the bottom of it?  Of course you would.  You would say you cannot run from this sort of thing and to hit it straight on, and you would be right.  We come from a long line of strong, tenacious people.  Empower yourself, dad, and get the facts so you don’t have to worry.

Please also consider that you have a wife and two children who adore you and want you around for a very long time.  While we have no control over how much time we have in this life, we do have control over the decisions we make, and this would be a good one … to see the doctor and get tests done so they can help you with your memory.  Making good decisions is something you always taught us.  Did you think I wasn’t listening all these years?  I have been.

If I have upset you, that certainly was not my intent.  My words came from a place and concern and love for both you and for mom.  Think about this before you cancel any more appointments.  You have always practiced and preached the very principles of Dale Carnegie, and we learned that from you.  I’ll be the first to admit I am not crazy about doctors, but you might be able to head off some memory issues if you find out what is causing them.

As a child growing up, you would always say to me, “Just give it some thought, Julie, and you will come to the right conclusion.”  You probably thought I never listened, but if that were the case, how did I end up this smart? <grin>  Give it some thought, Dad.  Do it for you, for Mom, for us.  Do it because you deserve to know.  If it’s nothing, then it would have been worry for no reason.  If it is something then we will face it all together.  That’s what family is for.

Per la famiglia (To family)!  Ti amo (I love you)!

Julie

©2013 The Estate Lady®

Julie Hall, The Estate Lady®, is the foremost national expert on personal property in estates, including liquidating, advising, and appraising. http://www.TheEstateLady.com  She is also the Director of American Society of Estate Liquidators®, the national educational and resource organization for estate liquidation. http://www.aselonline.com.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent.  Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com