His Outgoing Message Said …

September 12, 2011 | Julie Hall

“Hi. I hope you are going to have a great day. Sometimes, you’ve just got to go out there, do your best, and grab what you can. Make the most of your day and make it a great one.”

You may recall last week I wrote about a lovely man who is dying and his energy and attitude were incredible. He lifted me up with his words and charisma. Yesterday I called him to reconfirm an appointment to come and look at items he wanted to sell in order to donate the proceeds. His outgoing message was quoted above.

I thought to myself with so much going wrong these days, here is this one gentleman who probably doesn’t have much time left, and yet he is making a very strong impact on those around him. Touching them in an incredibly selfless manner. We don’t see that often, do we? Not in this me-me-me world.

It is difficult for us to reach deep down and pull up all the good that is within us, especially in the midst of the many challenges we face today. But if this one man can project beauty and goodness in his darkest days, we can too.

So I will add only one thing to his outgoing message: Smile a lot today, especially to those you don’t know. You never know what challenges they are facing.

Live So You Make a Difference in Others’ Lives

August 29, 2011 | Julie Hall

Cleaning out estates never gets dull — I just never know what I will uncover next or what heartwarming lesson I will learn. Sometimes I am covered head to toe in grime and sweat, and other days it’s a tiptoe through a pristine mansion. But no matter what our residence may look like, at the heart of the home lies the very essence of who we are. Our possessions reveal a great deal about us as individuals.

Today, we completed the clean-out of an elderly nurse who served her entire life. She didn’t just serve in the hospital; she served her community by becoming “Miss Sue” in the neighborhood. She had been in the same home 60+ years. No matter what the community needed, she was there. Someone needed first aid in a hurry; people took them to Miss Sue. A young girl found herself in trouble; you go to Miss Sue. As six decades passed, Miss Sue saw her neighborhood change. There were juvenile delinquents, drugs in the area, other crime, etc., but everyone still went to Miss Sue for whatever they needed, and she was always happy to help.

As the last little bit of furniture was removed from Miss Sue’s home today, we were approached by numerous neighbors from all walks of life. They surely loved Miss Sue and missed her terribly. As I drove away, sweaty and tired from the hard day’s work, I thought to myself what a wonderful life Miss Sue lived. She served so many during her lifetime and really made a difference!

Why can’t I determine value on the internet?

July 25, 2011 | Julie Hall

Q: You make it sound complicated to establish value of my heirlooms. Why can’t I just look at the internet and find the value myself? Surely there’s plenty of stuff for sale on Ebay that I can find a similar item and see what they are asking for that item.

A: The arrival of the 21st century has enabled us to find 90% of what we are searching for on the internet. What a great tool — but with greatness also comes weakness. What a double-edged sword. If used correctly, you can find the answers. If used incorrectly, it can truly mislead you, or cause permanent damage to one’s reputation.

I read numerous articles, newsletters, and blogs; I see so many wanting to research what their possessions are worth.

There are multiple factors involved in assigning a value to a particular item, not limited to the following: marketability, condition, collectability, age, rarity, provenance, materials used, handmade vs. factory made, etc. Age alone is not the only important characteristic, for all that is old is not necessarily valuable. Original condition is a very important factor, as is rarity.

One problem is everyone seems to believe they have something hard-to-find or rare, based on family stories told over years. Families are often disappointed to learn that the old bench great-grandfather made in 1857 is just an old bench and has more sentimental value than monetary value.

People have a tendency to jump onto Ebay, which is not always a good thing. While Ebay is a huge site with a broad variety of items, the market is currently down and often cyclical. There are better times of year than others to sell on Ebay. It’s also important to compare apples with other apples, and not an item that just looks like grandma’s old figurine. You must first have an accurate description of the item, then you can begin your search.

Remember too, the cardinal rule: If you go searching on the internet, make sure you accurately find the price the item sold for, and not just the asking price. Many times people say, “Julie, you only appraised this item for $200 and I see it on the internet for $675. Why is your appraisal so different?” My research in comparables accurately depicts what it sold for. Anyone can ask any price they wish. Go on Ebay and you will see some pretty ridiculous asking prices! But note, the items have not sold for these prices.

It is important to also remember to search multiple search engines, as well as different values: not just Ebay, but online auctions, in-person auctions, estate sales, etc. Find the fairest comparables you can. Keep in mind that professional appraisers have extensive training and knowledge in research, writing, and databases, which the average person does not have. When in doubt, please hire a professional appraiser to offer you the knowledge you need to make good, sound decisions about your personal property.

We’re Celebrating Today!!!

June 27, 2011 | Julie Hall

Today, you are reading my 100^th blog!

100 messages of help and hope!

100 times The Estate Lady has tackled topics of timely thought!

Today, I celebrate all of you who “get it”!

To all of you who “get it”, I thank YOU! Not just because you make my job easier, but because you will go forward, share what you have learned from my blog and thoughts, my books and random opinions, and you will teach others how to finally “get it.” Eventually, the truth always sinks in. For some it takes a very long time. For others, it never happens and they will sadly perish before putting a little forethought into planning for loved ones when they are infirm or gone. Still, there are others who get it from the word “go” and realize that planning takes away a great worry, maps out a plan and offers guidance to those left behind to pick up the pieces. It’s about loving someone enough to do what is right, what is good, and what makes for old-fashioned common sense.

Gone are the days when you can scribble a will out on a piece of college-ruled paper. Its validity will be challenged along with your scruples. We live in a complex time: politically, socially, legally, etc. Don’t get me started! Our elderly loved ones lived during a time when life was less complex, though none the less challenging. They too had many hardships in their lives. Just because they are the silent generation doesn’t mean you have to be.

Have that courageous conversation! Ask them the difficult questions and expect answers. Ask what they want for their future, what their final wishes are, ask more about your family history. Just come from a place of love and understanding. Don’t be afraid to hurt their feelings. They might have some age on them, but they survived two World Wars, the Depression, and raising you, so we know they don’t spook easily. Do it now while you still can!

That’s your thought for the day. We’re going strong after 100 blogs, so I’d love to hear your questions or topics of interest, related to personal property and estates. Leave a comment below, and your question may be answered in a future blog.

Thanks to all of you who faithfully read and share this blog!!

How to Hire an Estate Liquidator

April 25, 2011 | Julie Hall

How to Find a Liquidator:

Check your phone book under Estate Liquidators, Apprasiers, Auctions, or Antiques

Check online – Google “Your City, Estate Liquidator” Any professional liquidator is going to have a website these days.

www.ASELonline.com for nationwide assistance

Call an estate planning lawyer in your city and ask the secretary or assistant for a referral.

Questions to ask a prospective liquidator:

How long have you been in business?

Can you provide professional references for sales you have conducted?

How do you charge, by flat fee or commission?

What must I do to prepare for you to begin?

Can I remain on-site while I prepare?

Are there any additional fees?

Do you charge extra to clean up prior to the sale, as well as post-sale?

How many days will it take you to set up for the sale?

Do you price every item?

How do you keep track of what items sell for?

How many days do you hold the sale?

Can the family be present? (generally, not a good idea)

How do you handle discounts or negotiations?

May I see a copy of your contract?

How much do you charge to clean out the estate, leaving it empty?

Do you ever buy from your sales or pre-sell to dealers?

Revised Edition is Here!

April 4, 2011 | Julie Hall

A year ago, I wrote a companion guide for my best-selling book, The Boomer Burden. It was titled “A Boomer’s Guide for to Cleaning Out Your Parent’s Estate in 30 Days or Less.” Last fall, I began to review the material and realized that I could make a good book … EVEN BETTER.

Be the first to read and benefit from … How To Clean Out Your Parents’ Estate in 30 Days or Less. The original contents are almost entirely unchanged, but I have added more information, more advice, and more assistance to my readers.

In the revised edition, I have added more content on the actual cleaning out process. How do you prepare for those tiring days of cleaning out? What must be done first? How do you handle all the photos and papers that you will uncover in the home?

Like any inportant project that you undertake, you need to have two very important things ready: SUPPLIES and STRATEGY. We discuss both.

Together, we do the Cleaning Out of the house one room at a time, beginning with the attic, and ending with the last box packed and the last bag dragged to the dumpster. I give you everything you need to know to clean each area of the home, just as if I was with you on this project.

If you expect to deal with your parents’ home soon, or you know someone who is anticipating this difficult challenge, please read my book! Cleaning Out your parents’s home can be done in 30 days or less with the right plan and preparation, and I want to help you accomplish this.

Simply click on the book title at the right under “Books By Julie” to link directly with Amazon. com and order yourself a copy. Better yet, get a copy for each of your siblings. It’s best to be prepared before the crisis hits, when grief and stress overcome the family.

How to Prevent Conflict Between Adult Children

March 28, 2011 | Julie Hall

A colleague in Canada invited me to create several podcasts for her website at Moving Forward Matters, Ottawa Home Transition Specialists.

The first one is titled, “How to Prevent Conflict Between Adult Children Before A Loved One Dies.” Here’s the link to the podcast: http://www.movingforwardmatters.com/2011/03/22/estate-planning-how-to-prevent-conflict-between-adult-children-before-a-loved-one-dies/

My greatest goal is to educate people and prepare them for the inevitable challenges of family members dealing with personal property accumulated over a lifetime. There are ways for parents (not just elderly parents) to prepare their children to deal with these possessions equitably, thereby avoiding years of hard feelings, sibling battles, court fights, and other ugly situations.

I hope you’ll listen to this podcast and then pass along a link to another family member or friend who may benefit from this advice. Remember, it’s not too early to simplify your possessions and create equitable plans for your children and grandchildren to follow.

The Accidental Expert

February 21, 2011 | Julie Hall

Never in a million years would I have thought I would turn out to be “The Estate Lady.” I would have been perfectly content with a career dealing with animals, being a marine biologist, or something more carefree than dealing with heirs and heirlooms each and every day. I used to think it was all by accident that I ended up where I am, writing books, speaking publicly, teaching at universities, etc.

Back in my twenties, and still working full-time for a large corporation, I met with Wilma, a lovely 103 year old woman, who needed assistance handling her soon-to-be-estate. I was just breaking into the estate business handling personal property, but I soon discovered I had a special gift of listening to people, uncovering their needs, then finding a way to fulfill those needs. It didn’t take me long to see the vision of what was coming and figure out that seniors – not to mention their children – needed me and my services.

Much to my horror, Wilma’s neighbors, upon hearing she was dying and had no heirs, decided to trample through her home in my absence and help themselves to her gorgeous possessions that had significant worth. Long story, short: Wilma knew she had been taken advantage of by these unscrupulous people who only had greed in their hearts, and truly lacked love and compassion for this elderly woman facing a difficult transition.

The saddest part is this happens each day, every day, in each city, in each state, to thousands of people every 24 hours.

Wilma was the client who unknowingly gave me my company name, The Estate Lady, decades ago. Was it really an accident I was there to witness such an account of low human behavior? Or was I there because it was my destiny to learn from the situation and educate and advocate for those who need it during the daunting times of dissolving the family home?

The more I think about it, the more clearly I see that it was no accident!

Sneak Peek: Two heirs want the same heirloom

January 17, 2011 | Julie Hall

Here’s the sneak peek from my new book, How to Divide Your Family’s Estate and Heirlooms Peacefully and Sensibly, available at the right side bar of this blog.

Problem: Two of my siblings are fighting over the same heirloom. How do you split that?

Solution: When two or more are arguing over the same item(s), you have a few options, but ultimately it is up to the level of stubbornness of the people involved.

One heir simply turns the other cheek and forfeits to the other. Rememeber that all of the values need to be kept equitable. If Sue gets a $5,000 item and Barbara gets a $200 item, that is not equitable and other arrangements must be made, whether in cash assets or other items, to make up for the $4,800 deficit.
One sibling can offer to buy the item from the others and take it out of their inheritance.
They can write up an agreement and share the item, if it is small enough to share. Then again, this decision only postpones that inevitable decision for later in life. When the siblings die, now their children have to contend with the same issue.
If no one can agree and the arguing continues in a “no one is going to give in” pattern, I recommend the executor sell the item through an appropriate auction and split the proceeds by the number of siblings. Yes, the siblings will be upset, but that is more acceptable than resenting each other the remainder of their lives.
What would mom or dad want? Would they permit this kind of treatment towards one another? In most cases, the answer is no. They would be disappointed, having trusted you to make decisions that they probably should have made while they were alive, but for whatever reason, they didn’t. You can’t go back; you can only go forward. So go forward, knowing what your parents would have wanted and go forth doing what they would have wanted.

Announcing my newest book!

January 10, 2011 | Julie Hall

How to Divide Your Family’s Estate and Heirlooms Peacefully & Sensibly is the only book that walks you through the relational minefield that happens when children/heirs have to divide the personal belongings of their parents.

This is a must-have resource packed with practical expertise and a fair, equitable process for dividing personal property within a family estate. From how to minimize fighting and manage the emotional roller coaster that comes with a loved one’s loss, to understanding legal responsibilities and suggestions for executors, this guide offers solutions based on decades of experience in working with families and estates coast to coast.

This guide is a must-read for every family challenged with dividing an estate and not wanting the family to divide in the process. This guide includes practical problems and solutions, such as:

When more than one heir wants the same thing
What to do when the heirs are a long distance from the estate
When some of the personal property is missing and not available to divide equally
When extended family gets in the way
When you find a treasure and no one else knows you found it
When neighbors or friends expect to get something from the estate

Those of you who have read my first and second books, or read this blog for very long, know that I want to educate you. That’s my goal! There is a lack of information out there that frankly handles the problems and challenges of dividing the estate contents equitably and without fighting. I want to create helpful and very practical guides that cut through to the essentials, and give you all the tools to educate yourself and then do the task effectively.

My new book is available now on Amazon.com. Here’s the link and it’s also available on the right side bar of my blog: http://www.amazon.com/Divide-Familys-Heirlooms-Peacefully-Sensibly/dp/0984419128/ Watch my blog for a sneak peek of the book next week!