Being Thankful in These Challenging Times

With Thanksgiving near, long-ago recollections have flooded my mind: all my loved ones hovering around the kitchen picking on food morsels, family by the TV watching football, constant chatter at the dinner table, endless giggles and mischief we children always got into, and the fabulous feasts my mother and aunts prepared on this special day.

In my mind, they all look so young and vibrant, so energetic and full of life, though most of them are gone now or not in the best of health.  This is how I remember them over 35 years ago.  My mind has chosen to freeze these images, forever preserved in my head and held dear to my heart.

The grandchildren in these scenes have all grown up and we have children of our own.  In the blink of an eye, we will be grandparents, and as my brother calls it, “The Cycle of Life” continues.  Time really stops for no man.  As we age, we see changes not only in ourselves and loved ones, but in our private lives, our communities, our government.  Many of these changes have millions of people in distress, worried about everything under the sun.  There doesn’t seem to be much peace of mind these days anywhere, any place, or with anyone.

Our worries begin with healthcare and are constantly pre-occupied with financial matters.  How will we ever be able to retire?  There is not enough money for our children to go to college, no job for those children once they get out of college.  We see our elderly go back into the work force not because they want to, but because they have to.  The problems are endless and it seems that it will take decades to pull ourselves out of this mess.

In the midst of all this turmoil, I feel we have forgotten the basics, simply because our minds are obsessed with other thoughts.  We have forgotten to be thankful, to show appreciation for what we have, and for each other!  As corny as that sounds, I believe that appreciation is sadly almost a thing of the past. 

Our hurried lives have most people with their thumbs and noses glued to their iPhone or Blackberry.  We forget to engage in human activity, like talking to our kids, our elders, and sharing our lives with one another.  If you have a family, a job, some money, and your health, you are very blessed indeed.

My phone rings daily with people who want to sell their possessions and heirlooms because they are out of money, have no jobs, no income, and are about to lose their homes.  It is a constant and humbling reminder of how fortunate I am! 

If you are one of the lucky ones, give thanks for what you have and help out the less fortunate.  Open your hearts this holiday season.  You’ll be amazed at how much it will mean to those around you — even those you don’t know.  That’s how to be thankful in these challenging times!

© 2010 Julie Hall

Here’s your free copy of my “Top 10 Tips”

THANK YOU for listening to my teleseminar tonight.  If you have further questions that were not answered during the call, please ask me by clicking on “Leave a Comment” below this blog post.

While you are here, please subscribe to my blog.  I write a new entry about once a week, and you’ll find helpful information and education about personal property in every entry.  Scroll through the past entries to see much valuable information already posted.

If you want to purchase one of my books, simply click on the title(s) at the right to order your copy today.  These make excellent Christmas gifts for your parents and siblings!

Now, here’s your free copy of my article:  Top 10 Tips for Dealing with Your Parents Personal Property.  Simply click on the article title and download.

© 2010 Julie Hall

Tonight: “Top 10 Tips for Dealing with Your Parents’ Personal Property”

Join me tonight at 7 pm!  I’ll be discussing the top 10 ways you can help your parents before a mental or physical crisis occurs. 

With the holidays coming close, this is a perfect time to discuss important issues with your family, especially your parents.   More important than deciding which side dishes to serve for Thanksgiving, this is information that will be most valuable to your family!

Join me for this FREE teleseminar on Tuesday, Nov 16 from 7-8 pm. I’m joining Anne Holmes of the National Association of Baby Boomer Women. Julie Hall Teleseminar link  I’ll be taking questions too, so please call in and ask me your question.

After the seminar has concluded, I’ll post my top 10 list right here  for you to download and share.

© 2010 Julie Hall

Teleseminar “Top 10 List for Dealing with Your Parents’ Personal Property”

This Tuesday night at 7 pm, I’ll be discussing the important “conversation” that Boomers need to have with their parents. With the holidays coming close, this is a perfect time to discuss important issues with our family, especially our parents. Join me for this free teleseminar on Tuesday, Nov 16 at 7 pm. I’m joining Anne Holmes of the National Association of Baby Boomer Women. Julie Hall Teleseminar link

After the seminar has concluded, I’ll post my top 10 list right here,  for you to download and share.

© 2010 Julie Hall

Update: My New Book is Now Available in Print

A Boomer’s Guide to Cleaning Out Your Parents’ Estate in 30 Days or Less is now available online in print.  It is soft-bound, like a workbook, with 82 pages.  Every Boomer with retired or elderly parents should have a copy of this book!  Please buy this book before the crisis so you’ll be prepared and armed with knowledge, resources, and guidance.

To buy from Amazon.com, simply click on the link to the right of the blog under “Books By Julie”.  The book is also available through Barnes & Noble online.

I’d love to hear your comments here at my blog, but especially, on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.  Thanks!

© 2010 Julie Hall

Announcing my new book!

“A Boomer’s Guide to Cleaning Out Your Parents’ Estate in 30 Days or Less” is finally ready!  It is currently available as an e-book which you can download and print out (http://www.booksonboard.com/index.php?BODY=viewbook&BOOK=686132).  Within the next two weeks, it will be available in print also.  I’ll include an update here on my blog when it has been released in print.

More than a “How-To” guide, A Boomer’s Step-by-Step Guide to Cleaning Out Your Parents’ House in 30 Days or Less is a “What To Do, When, and Why” take-along manual packed with meticulously compiled checklists, resources, and information. You are given logical, easy-to-follow steps so that you can literally clean out your parents’ house in less than 30 days. Best of all, you are given advice from a nationally acclaimed expert who has “seen it all” on how to do this for your own peace of mind and keep everyone’s best interests at heart.

Separate sections of this book cover practical checklists and resources to use when your parents are living and still in their home, when one or both parents are in failing health, and when parents have died and the estate remains.  This book includes many worksheets, checklists, and forms you will need to effectively handle cleaning out your parents’ home.  I want you to tuck this guide in your pocketbook or briefcase and use it throughout the process: my wisdom and experience at your fingertips.

Those of you who have read my first book, or read this blog for very long, know that I want to educate you.  That’s my goal!  There is a lack of information out there that handles cleaning out an estate, or dividing the estate contents equitably and without fighting.  I want to create helpful and very practical guides that cut through to the essentials, and give you all the tools to educate yourself and then do the task effectively.

© 2010 Julie Hall

My Christmas gift to your family

This has been a growing year for me, a chance to help people understand the necessity of preparation before death, and help avoid battles over stuff after death.  I have accumulated a wealth of suggestions, gleaned from nearly 20 years of experience handling personal property in estates.

My book, The Boomer Burden — Dealing With Your Parents’ Lifetime Accumulation of Stuff, provides practical and effective steps for liquidating and distributing your parents’ assets in a way that both honors them and promotes family harmony.

You’ve probably heard the stories:  arguments over stuff, an inheritance lost forever when parents are scammed, siblings estranged, or an adult heir taken from daily responsibilities for months while trying to empty their childhood home.

This book is valuable for both the senior adults and the Boomer children.  My trustworthy counsel covers the following areas:

  • Divide your parents’ estate with peace of mind
  • Minimize fighting with siblings during the estate settlement process
  • Clear out the family home in two weeks or less
  • Identify potential items of value in the home
  • Have “that conversation” with your parents
  • Prepare your own children for the future

Amazon.com carrys my book; you can purchase it in time for your family’s holiday celebrations.  If you have a close relationship with parents and siblings, you owe it to all to keep harmony in the home after the unexpected death of a parent.  If there are difficult relationships, distance between you and your parents, an accumulation of stuff in your parents’ home, and other thorny issues, please buy a copy of this book and save yourself even more pain and struggle.

One of the most distressing, yet integral parts of estate planning and liquidation is the division of personal property; who gets what?  A little talking now can go a long way to prevent squabbling between the heirs after mom and dad pass away.  For peaceful resolutions and wonderful guidance, please order The Boomer Burden.  It has earned wonderful reviews, and it makes a great gift for siblings, parents, children, even clients.

This is my Christmas gift to your family: a wealth of information and valuable resources to protect the relationship, sanity, and peace among your family.  The joy of preparation for the inevitable, and the kindness of knowing that everything is in order.  Merry Christmas!

P.S. I welcome your comments and questions, even suggested topics, at the link below this article.

© 2009 Julie Hall

Leaving a Legacy of Love

Anne and Bill are a wonderful example of parents being prepared.  Both are in their mid-seventies, in relatively good health, have two children, several grandchildren, and are geographically remote from their family.  They knew that if, or when, something happens to them, their children would have to journey to get there and assist.  Wanting to make life easier for their kids, they decided to make sure their children understood their wishes.

This couple has been married 52 years, very hard working middle class, who saved a great deal of their money, invested it, and wanted their assets protected.  When it came time to downsize their home to move into a smaller one, they de-cluttered their home, sold most of their belongings, and lived comfortably on what they needed.  Anne no longer has a need for all the silver plate, china, etc. and preferred the space to the clutter.

They hired a financial advisor to assist them with decisions, an estate planning attorney to create a revocable trust, and told their children that everything is in writing and gave them each a copy.  The trust clearly states who is the executor, and who is the health care power of attorney.  Both children were clear on their part of the responsibility.  It was very difficult for their children to listen to what their parents’ last wishes were.  Yet, they knew they owed that to their parents.

Each child has a file containing all the vital information of their parents’ estate and guidelines within, even down to funeral arrangements, music to be played, and how many death certificates to order.  This file remains in their file cabinets, hopefully for many years to come, but is easily accessible if (and when) the fateful phone call comes.

Do you see the ease with which the children have already been prepared, thanks to this wonderful set of parents?  For parents to give this much thought into their own mortality cannot be easy from anyone’s perspective.  Their actions toward their children were kind, generous, accepting, and loving.  Their only wish was to ease their children’s burdens, when they were in the midst of grief, estate dissolution, selling the home, travel, etc.

These are two very fortunate children to have everything spelled out for them when a time of crisis occurs.  I should know, as Anne and Bill are my parents!  Thanks, Mom and Dad, for loving us that much!

© 2009 Julie Hall

How did I get into this line of work?

You may be wondering how I got into this line of work.  It happened innocently enough and turned into a real eye-opener!

Receiving a phone call from someone in crisis is common at my office, but when the phone rang one afternoon, and it was a colleague claiming an emergency, I knew the matter was very urgent.

My colleague said one of his clients, who was preparing to move to a safe environment for those afflicted with Alzheimer’s, was at home alone when her neighbors — so-called friends — and a few antique dealers all decided to pay her a visit on the same afternoon.  (Word spreads like wildfire any time an older adult begins downsizing an estate, and I caution you to pay close attention to this story so you can protect your loved ones!)

This elderly woman’s home was filled with many valuable possessions.  Apparently several people came by to “purchase” all of her assets.  My colleague had tried to get the dealers out of the house, but no one took him seriously.  Knowing that I deal with this sort of thing daily, he asked me to intervene quickly, even though I had never met this woman. 

These neighbors and friends and dealers were literally stripping her home of her lifelong heirlooms, possessions that were supposed to be passed down to her children after her death.  Her children would never see those heirlooms again.  The neighbors and friends helped themselves, throwing a $1 or $5 bill at her for items worth thousands of dollars.  Sadly, they preyed upon her much like a vulture stripping a bone.  In her advanced diseased state, she simply didn’t know any better.  But they did!

How I wished the family would have known to expect exploitation in times of fragility!  This story is one I see frequently.  One day, I had had enough and decided to write a book to assist the boomer children, and the elderly parents navigate the final chapter of their lives.

www.TheBoomerBurden.com

© 2009 Julie Hall

Is there an expert in the house?

You can only imagine what I see each day as I venture into the homes of people getting ready to disolve the estate of a loved one who has passed away.  It is an amazing view into the world of human nature — who wants what, the fights over money and things, the greedy relatives coming out of the woodwork, families not understanding the value of things, etc.

You name it and I’ve seen it!  Not much seems to surprise me in the realm of estate settlement.

Having spent 18 years in perfecting the process of estate dissolution for my clients and those wanting to learn my area of expertise, I have uncovered a vast need in the country today that virtually no one is tending to.  And soon enough, it will be near epidemic level!  No one thinks about it until it actually happens and you find yourself in the midst of a crisis.

As our beloved parents leave the earth, they also leave behind one of the largest accumulations of stuff, more than any other generation in history.  The Depression Era is known for never throwing anything away, and not always very good at letting it go either.   Their parents, our grandparents, actually owned very little by comparison.  Therefore, their accumulation was not dealt with, but absorbed by our parents’ generation.  This leaves the boomer children with not only mom and dad’s stuff, but now they have to deal with multi-generational items at the same time.

As overwhelming as it is to handle the death of a parent, it becomes absolutely grueling when the kids have to dive into the estate face-first: divide the estate, handle feuds that arise, and clean out the house in a short period of time.

Then it occurred to me that the reason so many flounder in this area, is because there has never been anyone to show them how to go through the process in a logical and timely fashion.  No worries — help has arrived!

My book, The Boomer Burden — Dealing With Your Parents’ Lifetime Accumulation of Stuff, is a must-have book on how to go through the process from beginning to end, offering trustworthy guidance every step of the way.  More on that later…

© 2009 Julie Hall