Concern and Worry can Wear on You

February 12, 2014 | Julie Hall

Many of my clients are concerned about the state of our economy. I am worried too, and I’m betting some of your wheels are turning constantly. In the midst of uncertainty, it is only natural to feel off-balance and a bit insecure. It’s hard to make solid decisions when so much is up in the air.

Clients need guidance determining what to keep, sell, or donate at a time when the secondary market is so poor. How do you go about getting top dollar for an heirloom in an economy like this? You don’t, unless you have something incredibly extraordinary and high-end that people are willing to dig deep into their pockets to obtain.

Some will decide to hold on to possessions, often going to the trouble and expense of storage; I don’t think that’s a viable option. They think the longer they hold onto it, the more valuable it will become. Most of the time, the answer to that is “not necessarily so.” Storage will eat up and surpass the worth of what you put in there. If you don’t move it into your home right away, I don’t recommend storage. That’s a sign you don’t need it.

Others want stuff gone immediately and sold, never to be dealt with again. They sense the economy will get worse and not improve. They feel it’s better to get what you can now, then nothing at all when things really get rough — if they get rough.

All of these different ideas, opinions, and theories everywhere you look, yet they all have one common denominator: concern and worry. It can really wear on you too, if you’re not careful.

Here is another excerpt I found from my late mother’s writings. It lead me to write this blog, because so many of us are in the same boat. My mother may have read it somewhere and liked it so much she copied it. I hope you find it as inspirational as I did. How did she know I needed to hear these words? Maybe you need them too.

“When you come to the edge of all the light you know, and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: There will either be something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly.”

Julie Hall, The Estate Lady®, is the foremost national expert on personal property in estates, including liquidating, advising, and appraising. http://www.TheEstateLady.com She is also the Director of American Society of Estate Liquidators®, the national educational and resource organization for estate liquidation. http://www.aselonline.com.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

Surely, You Jest!

February 4, 2014 | Julie Hall

As you can imagine, I receive all kinds of emails searching for answers, needing guidance, and some which also center around “How much is my stuff worth?” But every once in a while, I get an email that just about knocks me off my chair. Here’s a sample:

“Everything I own is very expensive and worth a fortune. I know this because I pay a fortune for quality. I have unique and very expensive collections, including a large assortment of cut glass pieces. All of these currently sell on E-bay for high amounts and a lot of them could sell in the $1,000s. I also have a collection of collector plates that are worth several thousand dollars. I have a Hummel collection worth at least one thousand dollars. I have a shoe collection worth thousands of dollars. I have several other smaller collections that are worth thousands. Even my older furniture is worth thousands. Can you sell them for me?”

Surely, you jest! While I always do my best to assist and even educate my clients so they can empower themselves to make the right decisions, there are some people I just can’t help. They won’t or can’t accept the whole picture. This person is one of them.

Despite my best intentions, you just can’t squeeze blood from a turnip. The market will bear only what it will bear, and their cut glass or shoes or Hummels are really not that much different from the rest of ours. It is unfair to apply this kind of unreasonable thinking and pressure to a professional in the industry, who can only do their best in a very soft market. Often the blame and complaint lands on the estate professional, when in reality we have done our best, and our best just wasn’t good enough for the client. Some of this will fall back on how well we discussed “expectations” of what things will sell for.

Other reasons for the motivations behind selling are numerous. Perhaps this person needs immediate financial relief from the sale of those items. Perhaps the person is not well. Maybe they really do believe their things are worth a fortune because they paid so much for them. As you’ve heard me say before, what you paid for something means nothing now. If I invest several hundred dollars in designer shoes, in the end, they are USED SHOES, designer or not.

Perhaps she doesn’t want to see it, but I wouldn’t be The Estate Lady® if I didn’t reply with my usual flair. So, I gathered my senses, did some sales comparables online which I could share in the form of “SOLD” prices, in easy links they could click on. I wanted to show them ever so politely, that their things were not worth what they originally thought. They are not selling for thousands. They are selling for $25, maybe a little higher or lower. I get the feeling they didn’t like that.

It took me a lot of time to find and send that information to them; I never heard back from them. I guess they just weren’t ready to hear what I had to say. I silently lifted up a quick prayer that no matter what challenges they were experiencing, someone out there could be more help to them than myself.

Unfortunately, someone like that will never change their thinking no matter how much proof is offered. Many years and ample experience have taught me they would only be upset with me, even if I did my very best.

I wish them well.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

Mr. Lee and Mr. McGee

January 30, 2014 | Julie Hall

When I close my eyes and remember the times with Mr. Lee and Mr. McGee, it doesn’t seem so long ago. In reality, it was over half a lifetime ago when these two older gentlemen helped sculpt me into The Estate Lady® I would eventually become. Way back in my mid-20s, I discovered quite by accident that I had a knack for buying and selling antiques. While it was a risk at such a young age, newly out of college and on a strict budget, I decided to commit to renting a booth in an upscale antique mall for six months. It just so happened it was their upscale antique mall.

As each week passed, I noticed more and more of the items I was selling were gone from the glass case, so naturally I was thrilled they were selling. Little did I know that two of the owners of this vast and expensive mall were watching me. One day, as I finished putting more new items into my glass case, Mr. Lee and Mr. McGee approached me and asked if we could talk.

As an extrovert, I rarely meet a stranger, yet I was intimidated by these two who had accomplished so much in life. Both had been in the business over 40 years. Both were successful; both knew so much. Here I was, knowing very little, being steered by gut instinct only, and feeling like a little mouse wondering what they could possibly want from young, inexperienced me.

They took me to their finely furnished office, offered me a beverage, and watched me squirm in the big leather chair. You can imagine the thoughts racing through my head! Mr. Lee was a kind older man, born in Hong Kong, but raised here in the United States. Mr. McGee was an older southern gentleman. They began the conversation by complimenting me on my booth and wondering where I found my treasures. After a nice and comfortable time together, they sincerely took me under their wings and shared some invaluable insight I will never forget, that I would like to share with you.

Here’s what they said to me:

“Kid, you were born with the eye. Very few people are born with this gift. So when you go out into the world and use it, you need to use it well and earn it. Much will be asked of you through the years and you will be tested at every turn. But always remember to walk a straight line. If you can walk this straight line, people will talk about you. They will refer others to you. They will love you for what you can do for them, because they are completely overwhelmed. Remember this conversation because it will make your or break you.”

Now in my 50s, I think back to that time and realize that little meeting with them was a tremendous gift to me. A gift of guidance and affirmation. A gift of direction and how I can serve my clients. Hindsight is an incredible thing when all the pieces click together. They were right on all accounts. Much has been asked of me in the last 25 years, and I did my best to always deliver. Temptation is everywhere, but I steered far away from it. Honesty and ethics are always at the forefront. Because so few possess it, I stood out among them. Old fashioned and 19th century thinking? Perhaps, but it’s the secret to my success.

From that moment to this, I never forgot what they told me. Both of them are gone now, but they left an impressionable young lady with something she could never pay for, because it was priceless.

From the beginning of time, there has always been good and evil. In today’s society, we need to be extra careful of the professionals we select to help us, whether it’s handling an estate or remodeling a bathroom. Always look for someone who walks a straight line. Always listen for the good people say about them. Research these business owners who mean to serve you. Make sure they are credible, professional, and the cream of the crop.

Why would you settle for anything less?

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

Things That Have No Place Anymore

January 21, 2014 | Julie Hall

In every home, in every estate of a deceased loved one, there are items we have to deal with that don’t seem to have a place with us anymore. Perhaps they are no longer useful, or the sentiment has worn off. Maybe there are so many items, there’s no way you can take them all!

After the family comes in and takes what they want, and some of the items have been sold or given away, there are always leftovers that can’t find a home. Old photos and slides no one wants. Brittle college diplomas and certificates from the early twentieth century. Ancient textbooks on everything from WWI nursing to social etiquette to typewriter maintenance. Old tax returns that need to be shredded and magazines and catalogs that weigh a ton. Old TV parts, metal bits and pieces, broken appliances that are stuck up in the attic. Prescription meds, record albums, small appliances, old computer printers and fax machines.

Optimally, these items should have been dealt with a long time ago so it doesn’t put the family in a crisis mode when the time comes. Old appliances and computers can be recycled, as can the endless paper piles we find. Metal can be scrapped; $100 is better than hauling it to the trash, right? Prescription medications need to be dissolved in vinegar before flushed to neutralize the meds, or better yet, dissolve them and place them in a container with old coffee grounds or kitty litter.

These items should be disposed of properly, but it makes us feel guilty when we are throwing away things like old photos or slides. After all, who has time to go through 10,000 slides from the 1950’s?

Let me share a quick story. I used to be one who didn’t have time to go through all the family slides … until mom died. I brought the slides home and at night while watching TV, I used a little light-up viewer I bought on Ebay to see which ones we wanted to keep. I found a gold mine! Photos of dad on his ship in the Navy, mom and dad’s engagement in 1953, early baby photos of me and my brother never seen before, photos of all the kids and cousins from long ago. I had these selected slides made into prints and distributed them to family members. The thank you letters, emails, and phone calls came pouring in. It was like they each won a small lottery and were most appreciative to have these never-before-seen photos. In my case, it was worth the effort.

If family does not claim these items, or there is no family left, sadly, these items either need to be discarded, donated, shredded. And it’s okay to do that — you have permission to do that. If no one else wants them or needs them, let them go with respect.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

Exercise Discernment When Cleaning Out Mom & Dad’s House

January 14, 2014 | Julie Hall

Don’t take things just to take them!

Boomers, take heed. As our parents pass away, the temptation to sock away their belongings is great, but take the time to really think about what you are doing. Don’t keep it because you think your children or grandchildren might change their minds one day. Don’t get stuck paying for ludicrous storage bills that far outweigh the value of what you place inside there. Don’t fall into the trap of being a storage for your kids either. In the blink of an eye, you will be wanting to downsize; the time has come to hold yourself accountable in all of this. It’s either you who will do it or your children will do it, so why not do it for them?

TAKE only what is really special to you, because the kids will most likely not change their minds and it will be sold off for pennies on the dollar, when it falls in the hands of your children.

TAKE photographs, because they take up less space but you still have the memory of the item(s).

TAKE into consideration that if your children say “no,” they don’t want these items. They really mean “no.”

TIPS: Don’t sell, give away, or donate anything until a professional has examined it. So many boomers throw away or give away personal possessions worth a small fortune, simply because they don’t know the values. Tell everyone “no” until the appraiser has reviewed everything. The cost to pay a personal property appraiser is nothing compared to the value you could find, not to mention the peace of mind it will give you!

KEEP the following:

Anything that can provide family history.
Family heirlooms if they are wanted and will be cherished. Don’t force heirlooms on the children if their hearts aren’t in it.
All items of perceived monetary value. Hire that appraiser to find out for sure!
Family photographs
Rare or unusual items (some antiques fall into this category). If someone has room for them and wants them, that’s fine. It’s okay to sell them if no one wants them.
Jewelry. Have items appraised first for fair market value, not replacement value.
Items with historic significance. You may donate if no family wants them.
Important documents. These must be kept together until they are all sorted through by the executor.
Collections (gold, coins, guns, stamps, etc.). Always have them evaluated by a professional. It is unusual to find appraisers for different specialty collections.
Antiques, artwork, paintings, sculpture. These must be evaluated by a professional.
Military items. These items are sought by collectors but may also be vital to family history.
Safes, safety deposit boxes, and their contents. Have a key or know where keys or passwords are located.
Anything you cannot identify. Have a professional look at it for you.

Don’t take things just to take them. Select a few sentimental items that are small enough for you to use or display in your home. Great family or marital strife can develop if you take too much. Remember, the more you take now, the more your children will have to deal with later.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

Lessons Learned as an Expert in “Things”

January 6, 2014 | Julie Hall

Happy New Year!

As an expert in personal property, my days are filled with visiting estates, consulting with my clients, and ascertaining what has value versus what does not. I help boomer children make sound decisions after mom and dad have passed on, and work closely with seniors, helping them make a plan for their heirlooms and understanding their worth. My world revolves around many beautiful things and what they may be worth; then sadly, I watch people fight over those things after a loved one dies.

Having met with thousands of individuals in my career, I can safely say I have learned from each and every one of them. Here’s what I’ve learned:

1. We exit this world the way we enter it, owning nothing but a beautiful spirit that houses love and memories earned over a lifetime. You can’t take anything with you, so why fight over things.

2. Things do bring instant gratification, but not long-lasting happiness. So we keep buying more things to keep feeling good. Too many of us fill our lives with things to ease unresolved pain and issues. As we continue to go out and go into debt buying ourselves the latest electronic or gadget, we are still left unfulfilled and discontented. We buy to feel good. We buy because we deserve it. We buy because we are depressed. But in the long run, it ends up in the hands of family or a professional, such as myself, to sell it.

3. It‘s what you do with what you have that really counts, not what you possess. In these challenging economic times, it’s important to remember there are others dealing with greater difficulties than ourselves. Even while we tighten our purse strings, we can still give in many ways, for which others would be so grateful.

Give of yourself.
Go visit someone you’ve been meaning to see for a long time.
Write that letter.
Bake those cookies.
Volunteer for those needing help.
Visit shut-ins.
Surprise a loved one.
Make that phone call to make amends, because you and your mom haven’t spoken in years.
Bring your children to an assisted living or nursing home and watch the residents light up.
Say what you need to say, and do so right away.
Ask for forgiveness and offer it, no matter what.
Offer hugs to those who really need them.
Listen to your elders because you will learn so much.

4. If you have an older adult in your life … Spend a full day with them and ask them to share stories of your family history – fun stories, challenges, family secrets, marriages – and look through old photos. Record this day and make a book for them (and copies for each sibling) so it may be passed down for years to come. Many children regret not having more family history, but they realize this after a loved one has left us. Take a photograph of this special day and frame it.

5. Get your children involved in their own legacy. TALK, don’t text. Include older generations in activities with the younger children, if possible. It won’t do them any harm to listen to grandma’s stories and bake cookies, instead of them playing on their Xbox. Precious time is slipping away for all of us. Make the most of it by making meals and eating together, talking, sharing, and most of all, mending anything that needs mending.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

A Spontaneous Invitation Changed My Outlook on Life

December 30, 2013 | Julie Hall

It was a spontaneous invitation from my 78-year-old mother to attend their senior holiday dance and party. I was out-of-state visiting them and I obliged her request, knowing it would make her happy. How much fun could it really be with everyone so advanced in years?

The club house was nothing fancy — reminiscent of a church basement or school gym, devoid of color, with few decorations. In front of the small Bingo stage sat the collapsible sound system from the hired DJ, complete with a disco ball spinning crystal dots on the walls, and a lighted 3-foot Santa next to his unit. The floor was exceptionally shiny, as if someone had spent hours buffing it to perfection for dancing.

The 40 seniors waited in line for cafeteria style dinner of roast beef, green beans, and a roll. Dessert would be homemade cakes from the neighborhood ladies, served on styrofoam plates.

During our meal, the DJ came alive, obviously loving his job. I understood he was a retired NYC cop who had found his true calling and was very good at it. The beat from Glen Miller’s “In the Mood” was evident in my tapping feet, shoulder motions and bobbing head. Was that ME actually having fun? Dare I say, the fun was just beginning…

Mesmerized by the fantastic selection of 40’s and 50’s music and jazz beats, the seniors suddenly came alive. Some with canes, others with oxygen, still others (like my mother) afflicted with heart disease — it didn’t matter to them — they got up and started dancing like they were young again. Before my eyes, the music became their magic. Transported back to the 1940s, the hands of time literally spun backwards to return them to their prime in life. This was their night and they proudly took ownership.

Over the course of the evening, I found myself looking closely at the weathered faces of the old men. They didn’t look old to me anymore. It was like watching an episode of Star Trek when they were brought back in time wearing their US military uniforms. The ladies had vibrant, shiny, hair curls and small waists, just like in the old black and white movies.

The most moving part of the evening was how they looked at each other. Couples married for 50-60 years still gazed upon each other with love and affection. I even caught a glimpse of an 80-year-old man stroking his wife’s face while they danced, and I had to hold back the tears because I knew she was fighting an illness. This, I thought, was true commitment.

They had survived the Great Depression and a devastating world war; raising us was no easy matter either. These were people who simply did what needed to be done. They were fiercely loyal, still loved America, and always had a strong work ethic.

For one night, for a few hours, they didn’t care about their diseases, ailments, aches, and pains. They only wanted to let their hair down and have a memorable time. There I sat, in love with each of them for the way they treated each other with smiles galore, twirling about as if today were their last day on earth.

The thought crossed my mind, as it probably did theirs, that their time is indeed limited, for some more than others. How could they dance and enjoy fellowship with such carefree smiles and attitudes? Because they love life, and offered each other the best gift anyone could possibly receive … the gift of simple joy. They gave the gift of each other.

I found myself deeply moved by what I saw that evening. Ours has become a world of convenience, and often inconvenience. A place where people are always asking, “What’s in it for me?” A place where we don’t see as much care and concern for each other as was in our parents’ generation. I felt like Ebenezer Scrooge visiting a strange time and place, who saw the light and understood the meaning in the few hours they allowed me to share with them. I somehow knew as I watched my parents dance that evening, that I was witnessing the last time they would do so. Sadly, I was right, which makes this memory even more special.

Our seniors truly are our greatest asset and we have much to learn from them! In this new year, spend time with a senior. You won’t regret it, and your heart will grow.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

Reflection

December 17, 2013 | Julie Hall

There is a time for everything; now is the time of year to not only give to others, but to give to yourself as well. Sometimes I think we forget that.

In between decking the halls and flocking to malls, making sure you’ve made a list and checked it twice, singing “Jingle Bells” in every possible rendition, and finding yourself frustrated with the crowds and traffic and (yes, you can say it) the greed you see, we have forgotten to do one very special thing for ourselves … reflect. There’s only so much one human being can do, and we humans have a tendency to go on auto-pilot during the holidays.

The New Year marks a happy time for most people, because we get to “start all over again.” What we should be doing is skimming back through 2013.

Facing whatever the year held for us is important: the pain, the struggles, the tears, and the worries. But let us also not forget the joy, the strength, and the obstacles we overcame. Some people are afraid to look back. It isn’t healthy to stay there very long, but it is ok to compare it to where you are now. You’ve come a long way and you should be proud of yourself.

It was a rough year for many people. If we take the time to look back, even for a few uninterrupted and peaceful moments, we can see that the past is indeed past; yet we are moving forward at what feels like warp speed. It is in reflecting that we can also see how we’ve had an effect on people’s lives or how they’ve affected ours. It is a time to envision how we could have done things better, and feel good about the positive things that have transpired. It is about personal growth when it comes to the bad stuff we went through.

This personal reflection shows us how strong we became as we battled the indescribable pain of losing a loved one, losing a job, or even sometimes, our sense of “self.” It is also in that reflection that we should remember those far less fortunate than ourselves — to put things into perspective and realize we are not as bad off as we may think or feel.

It isn’t about loss. It’s about gain.

Now you can move forward teaching others because you have an experience you didn’t have before. If everyone had a better attitude, if everyone took the time to reflect on themselves, if everyone learned to forgive themselves and others, the world would be a much better place. But since neither you nor I can control the world, all we can do is work on our little corner of it. Our job is not to solve the problems of the universe. It’s just to be the best that we can be at who we are and what we do (and the word “perfection” does exist when it comes to that).

Imagine a world where everyone tried to be their best. Now that’s worth reflecting on!

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

Shake Off the “Woogies”

December 10, 2013 | Julie Hall

Lately I’ve been noticing more and more people with lower spirits than normal and what seems like ever-growing obstacles in their lives. In my industry, I have colleagues in a wide variety of occupations and I will ask them how the economy is affecting them or their business. Across the board, most everyone is not necessarily complaining, but weary and concerned. Rightfully so.

I am no different, as things have an effect on me too. That’s usually about the time I go to my garden to renew my spirit, give thanks for everything I have, talk to the veggies and to my late parents. It usually makes me feel better. No one really knows this, but sometimes I go to my garden just to let out a few tears and decompress. It is a normal and healthy release for all the unknowns we are living through. We need to place the emphasis on “living through,” meaning, this will pass and we will do our best to find ways to deal with it all.

When my daughter was a toddler, she often fell because she ran everywhere like the road runner. There was no typical walking, just running. She would start to whimper, which quickly escalated to a full-blown cry, from skinned knees or hands, or the jolt of suddenly becoming horizontal. Wanting to raise an independent daughter, I would go to her side, comfort her with my words and a motherly hug or pat, then encourage her to get right back up and “shake off the woogies.”

I remember the phrase exactly; “you’re okay … look … you’re fine, just a little scratch, no problem. You just have to get up and shake off the woogies. Let’s get up and shake them off so they’ll go away.” It worked like a charm. She stood upright, shook her little body, and went on with life.

Don’t ask me where my brain picked up that silly phrase, but it made sense then and it makes sense now, to learn to shake off the woogies in our own lives. The “woogies” mean different things to different people, but the one thing we need to remember is to always get up and do what we can to shake them off. It’s not as simple as cleaning a toddler’s skinned knee anymore, as our maturity has brought far greater challenges, but if you are creative, you can find a way to shake them off.

I highly recommend growing a garden.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

Inspiration of the Week: Find a Way or Make a Way

December 2, 2013 | Julie Hall

He’s a Southern gentleman in his 70s and the father of a dear friend of mine. John has no idea that he serves as a great inspiration to many … that’s how genuine he is. To this humble, salt-of-the-earth man, he is just as happy to get up each day and fill it with as much as he can, until he does it all again tomorrow. He won’t sit still for very long because “there is always something that needs to be done, so I get up and do it.”

I should preface the story by saying that John has a heart condition, but he never lets anything even remotely slow him down. Having retired a year or so ago, he was determined to attain at least two personal goals:

To not end up with a debilitating illness that rendered him helpless, and
To find a way to make a little extra money to pay his bills, like so many other Americans in his shoes.

John has what I call moxie, or a determined spirit, and a common sense intellect that few possess today. He comes from the good old days, when hard work and thinking things through produced income. You would either find a way or make a way. In fact, he said to me, “Julie, money can be made in lots of ways. Even if I get paid $5 for something, that’s $5 I didn’t have before. But you have to be willing to work for it.”

How does John make extra money? John lives in a small town and listens to a local radio station that reads the classifieds over the airwaves. You can buy and sell on this radio station. So John started buying older appliances like refrigerators, freezers, and stoves. He brings them home, cleans them up, and resells them that week or the next. It’s the quickest turnaround I’ve ever seen for someone not in this industry!

John’s strategy is simple; he buys several appliances a week for $50 to $100 each. He resells them on the same radio show, with no advertising costs, and delivers them within a 30 mile radius. He doubles and sometimes triples his money within a few days, with no overhead. Now that’s smart!

He knows that not all people can afford, or want to afford, a $2,000 stainless steel refrigerator. “People have to watch their spending these days,” and he’s spot on.

For those wanting to make extra money, you may want to think along the same lines as my friend. Find a need that people have that has not yet been filled, and fill it. He delivers these appliances to some of his older clients who would have trouble getting them otherwise … smart guy with old-fashioned know-how! What John is doing is spreading by word of mouth in his community; he does not want to get too big because he is a one-man operation and likes it that way.

We all need to take a life lesson from him. He’s retired, has a heart condition, and nothing has stopped him. He’s put a good amount of money in his pocket using nothing but his brain and his brawn. God bless you, John. Keep it up because you are an inspiration to many!

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com