Even the Devil Uses the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval®

September 4, 2013 | Julie Hall

Throughout the course of my career, I have worked my fanny off (like most of you) trying to accomplish my calling: make a positive contribution to the estate industry, educate, advocate and resolve difficult issues for my clients, earn an impeccable reputation, and do it all honestly and ethically. After 23 years, I feel pretty confident I have achieved many of my goals with the help of some great team members and my faith.

What makes me steaming mad are those individuals who flat out steal logos and intellectual property that is not theirs. No conscience, no care or concern. They don’t care that they steal what they didn’t earn. They do it with no forethought of hurting others, most especially themselves in the long run, because the truth will come out eventually. Those who know me would tell you I’d be the first to teach, to help, to answer questions if I can. Stealing information or logos is a huge no-no.

Many of you may not know that I own and direct The American Society of Estate Liquidators®. http://www.aselonline.com This professional organization is for those who want to learn the estate industry, and offers educational courses and a place for experienced liquidators to learn how to build their business. It is a safe haven for ethical liquidators and we have worked hard to set the standard for the industry.

The problem is some people don’t want to play nice. People steal logos without paying dues. Some don’t care about ethics until they get caught or fined. It’s not just about me … it’s about you too because many will attempt to take advantage of you, or someone you know, in the future. I often wonder how they sleep at night.

Here’s my point: Each industry has its good and bad, even estate liquidation. With companies that have no training/education or just popped up, and no one knows anything about them, you (the consumer) needs to research them carefully to make sure what their site says about them is accurate. Just because some company creates a website and add logos and makes claims, doesn’t mean they are legitimate or ethical. Follow up with them and pay attention to red flags.

Contact your local BBB and ask questions. Look for UNresolved complaints. Search online for the company name and any complaints or reviews. Ask for and check several recent references. Ask people in the community who is the best of the best. Do not be swayed by a company that is cheaper, for you often get what you pay for! Go for integrity, trust, ethics, gut instinct.

If the company is hesitant to answer questions, doesn’t call you back in a timely manner, doesn’t give you a polished and trustworthy feeling, then that little voice inside is probably telling you something. Listen to it.

So you see that even the devil uses the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval®. Anyone can steal that seal or logo. But not everyone can back it up with education, training, credibility, experience, and know-how. A professional liquidator is going to do the right thing for the client, answer any and all questions, maintain confidentiality, guide you to know what is best for your given situation, and communicate clearly each step of the way.

If you find out they are lying about being part of a professional organization, or anything else, don’t walk away … RUN!

Julie Hall, The Estate Lady®, is the foremost national expert on personal property in estates, including liquidating, advising, and appraising. http://www.TheEstateLady.com She is also the Director of American Society of Estate Liquidators®, the national educational and resource organization for estate liquidation. http://www.aselonline.com.

David Vs. Goliath

August 29, 2013 | Julie Hall

Images of the nasty, colossal giant filled our heads when we first heard the story of David and Goliath as children. For purposes of today’s blog, let’s look to this story as the little guys vs. the big guys (small business owners vs. large corporations).

Recently, I attended numerous small business events and a few weekend festivals. I was surrounded by hundreds of vendors, each trying to sell something: widgets, kitchen ware, handmade jewelry, insurance, small appliances, books — you name it! While I participated in what appeared to be a vibrant display of colors on a beautiful day, what I noticed most of all popped my balloon and sent my spirits southbound.

While everyone was caught up in the festivities, I saw something no one else seemed to notice; no one was buying much of anything. There were free give-aways and samples, but very few people were doling out the cash for any product. The thought occurred to me that all these vendors shelled out cash to rent space, with the high hopes of selling their products or services. When one looked at the people in the booths, you could see the weariness on their faces, as they worried that their business might not make it.

I took notice of the small jewelers who were silversmiths, etc. Their work was lovely but high-priced. I am the first to acknowledge and praise the labor of love that goes into a work of art, but people these days are buying precious metals at spot price, not four or ten times spot price. I realize they are buying art and not weight, but in my circles, I see it sell by weight. So how on earth is the little guy supposed to make ends meet?

This is a common theme among small business owners, especially in the last few years. There are numerous causes for concern: the economy, demand of what’s hot and what’s not, capital needs to run the business, taxes, etc. My business adviser said the two main reasons businesses fails is:

People run out of money, and
People lose their follow-through and tenacity.

While these may be accurate, we are living in strange times. Many people are anxious about money and worried that they won’t have enough or already don’t have enough.

It seems lately that the little guy is getting beat to a pulp. They are losing their benefits, having to let go of employees because they can no longer afford them, etc. I think the government often hurts the little guy instead of helping them. Such a shame!

Many of the greatest corporations came from modest roots. Look at Facebook, Microsoft, and others. These guys started out in one room with very little money, but armed with fantastic ideas that changed our daily lives. Can we all be Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg? No. We’re not meant to be. We’re meant to illuminate our corner of the world with our thoughts and ideas every day and do the best that we can.

I can’t pretend to know all the issues out there that affect small business owners, but I know this much — If little David can slay a giant with one strategically placed stone, we just need to have a little faith and practice more strategic thinking. Then, we too can be successful.

Oh, What a Tangled Web We Weave

August 21, 2013 | Julie Hall

I hate spiders. Being a lover of nature, I shouldn’t say that but it’s true. Maybe if they weren’t so spooky looking with all those hairy legs. It doesn’t matter what the spider looks like to me; if it’s in the house, it is usually caught by my husband in a container and escorted out … immediately. The movie, “Arachnophobia” had me curled up in a ball, knees in chest, and freaking out if something touched me (like my cat). Even writing this, I have a case of the itchies! Sometimes I think that squishing them would be easier, but I believe in karma.

Recently however, I have changed my way of looking at these formidable creatures. Creepy? Sure, but incredibly smart and beneficial. They are great gardeners since they eat bad insects, and pretty much eat anything they can. (I can relate.) Spider silk is among the strongest material on earth and that’s pretty amazing! People are actually studying their silk to see if it can be replicated. Pound for pound, it’s stronger than steel.

Spiders generally don’t bother people unless provoked, but I would hate to do that by accident. In many cultures, like some Native Americans, the spider is highly revered and considered a goddess. In other cultures, it’s eaten as a meal. Yikes, I don’t want to know how big they are! Some have even made nursery rhymes about spiders. Remember LIttle Miss Muffet who sat on her tuffet, eating her curds and whey?

I got to thinking about spider webs, because webs are a work of art. Being an appraiser and lover of all kinds of art, I have an appreciation for how long and dutiful this little creature works to create his web art. I certainly would not have the patience or perseverance to create one. It is a lesson in volatility, watching it be destroyed by the pass of a lawn mower, someone’s leg, or a rain storm. But the spider doesn’t give up. It just rebuilds without complaining. Webs are particularly beautiful when the sun catches them just right and you see every line.

See the photo I took in my backyard.

We should take a lesson from the spider. All of life seems to be a web. It goes in so many directions with a crossroad at each intersection. You make a little progress, then you get stuck. Did you know that the vertical spokes of a spider’s web are dry and the horizontal lines are sticky to catch prey? The spider will only walk on the vertical spokes, but of course, their prey doesn’t know that.

I think the goal is to avoid the sticky parts of our own webs, lest we be pulled into a web where we have trouble getting out. Mom always said to walk a straight like in life. I think I’ll stay with the vertical line!

Thou Shalt Not Steal

August 15, 2013 | Julie Hall

Life sure is getting harder … and weirder. Call me a twentieth century throw-back, but people and times seem to be changing fast and I don’t think it’s my imagination. Just yesterday, my husband and I were out taking a drive in the gorgeous Blue Ridge mountains enjoying the magnificent views. We had no clue where we were, other than a curvy country road. The adventure is half the fun! Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a huge yard sale and shouted to my husband to “Stop! Yard Sale!” Since being married to me, he has thrown his car into reverse more than he ever used to.

Who would have thought that all the way out there with no street signs, but plenty of goats and chickens, you would find an awesome sale with great finds and reasonable prices? My family knows when I am “shopping sales” it’s best to leave me alone because it takes great concentration to select and negotiate the great buys. I piled up a few items, greeted and exchanged conversation with the sellers, and enjoyed their company. One seller there told me she had real jewelry – if I was interested – because I looked like the honest type. Lucky to be born with a kind face, I politely accepted her invitation to see the real stuff and she hauled me up to her front porch where it was all tangled and piled in her shoe boxes. Some of the pieces were very nice.

She was only 40 but she looked much older, and I knew she had a story to tell – and tell, she did. Once the wife of a wealthy man, he was always unavailable to her, busy making his money. Her job seemed to be going out and buying jewelry. But he was also abusive to her. She escaped with her young son and her jewelry, and that was it. Now she was living in a tiny home in the middle of nowhere, where no one knew her. Her young son was by her side, as I expect he’ll be most of his life, taking care of mom. She told me she didn’t want to sell her jewelry, but that she had to. Her prices weren’t cheap, but the pieces were quality and I did purchase a handful from her. She was so appreciative.

During the sale, an older woman was wandering around the front yard. She was very sweet, like your grandma, saw the jewelry and asked to see it. When the younger woman who had been helping me turned her back, the older woman took a handful of the good gold and silver jewelry and stuffed it in her pockets and in her blouse. Someone yelled out, “Hey lady, you can’t steal that stuff. That belongs to Karen and you haven’t paid for it!” It was quite a tense moment. No one really knew what to do because no one expected a sweet older woman to steal!

Don’t get me wrong. Since the dawn of man, people have been stealing … from merchants, family, neighbors, even out of necessity. I can’t sit here and tell you I am the world’s most religious person, but I can tell you I am a person with strong moral convictions. The problem is that most people seem to have lost their own moral compass. I wonder where it all went in such a short time. I am a child of the 60’s and now it seems like that was eons ago.

I also wonder when it was that I turned into my parents. I am officially an old fogey … but at least I’m a moral one.

Ms. Faye

August 7, 2013 | Julie Hall

As with most of my clients, I have a tendency to get attached. At 94, she carried herself in a very youthful manner and looked more like a 60-year-old with manicured nails, perfectly applied makeup and gorgeous white hair that was set every few days.

She and I had grown close while working together on her downsizing move to a retirement/continuing care community. Ms. Faye turned out to be one of my biggest supporters, always making an appearance at one of my local speeches and having photos taken with me for her memory book. She had outlived everyone, including a beloved husband that she often reminisced about, but she was determined to enjoy life solo.

Uncharacteristic for a woman of her era, she made the decision to sell her estate jewelry and travel extensively, because in her words, “When you’re gone, you’re gone.”

Unusual as she was bustling with energy and always had a smile on her face, I asked her one day over lunch what her secret was. She paused for a moment to reflect and suddenly a wide smile, that matched her glowing complexion, emerged on her face. “It’s really very simple. Always look up and never look down. And always choose close friends that are younger than you because they will keep you young in spirit — the older ones die and leave you.”

There it was in a nutshell — life according to Ms. Faye. She said it with gusto through her red Estee Lauder lips. It’s difficult to forget someone like Ms. Faye. Her words were so simple but powerful, and were her secret to longevity.

Not long after our lunch together, Ms. Faye died quietly and unexpectedly during the night. While she is no longer here, I still smile every time I think about her. I think of this older woman who had lived through and seen so much, and I remember her words, “Always look up and never look down.”

I think it is important to spread stories as upbeat as this, especially when the news all around us seems all doom and gloom. Some would think it is sad that she died, but she left this earth doing what she wanted, whenever she wanted, and how she wanted it. In my eyes, not a bad passing at all. Thanks for the smiles and new mantra, Ms. Faye.

Rest in heavenly peace.

‘Til Death Do Us Part

July 31, 2013 | Julie Hall

Most of us enjoy hearing those words during a wedding ceremony, where the new couple is floating in bliss and envision being by each other’s side until death separates them. From my perspective, however, I see people who have a very passionate relationship with their material possessions, sometimes more so than each other! If I didn’t know better, I would say they behave as if they can take their possessions with them when they leave this earth, but we know that we can’t take stuff with us.

I have seen it all. In all those years of estate work, I have tried to figure out why people have such a hard time “letting go.” Often, the Depression Era generation is the one that has accumulated the most, in my experience. Their parents did not have much and probably possessed more utilitarian items because of the era in which they lived. When their parents passed away, they did not distribute or sell those items … they absorbed them. The boomers have multiple generations of stuff to deal with when their Depression Era parents pass away.

Here are a few thoughts on why people hold on to so much:

You just never know when I’m going to need this.
There are so many things I could use this for.
If I hold onto it long enough, it will become valuable.
It is already old, so it must be valuable.
I did without as a child and I will not do without again.
It was a gift and I will honor the giver by keeping it.
The more I leave the kids, the more they will have.
I worked very hard for these things and I will pass them down.
They bring comfort and familiarity.
Sentimental reasons.
Too overwhelmed to let it go — emotional attachment.
I’ll let my kids deal with this after I’m gone.

As an appraiser of residential contents, this is the part where I try to put my clients at ease. When in doubt, always have the contents of an estate appraised prior to distributing or selling contents. Most times, the heirs are not surprised to learn that much of what mom and dad amassed doesn’t have much value. Some children feel that items might be “junk” and some pieces do turn out to have significant value, pleasantly surprising them. Family stories through the years can add to the anticipation that great-grandfather’s chair is more valuable because it is so old, but age is not the only factor of value. There are many more characteristics of value we look at to determine it’s worth.

Another important issue that the older generation should realize is that many of their heirs already have houses that are full of accumulation from 25+ years of marriage. Adding more stuff will only fuel marital strife. I’ve seen divorces happen over keeping too much stuff.

Some kids keep items to sell, others for sentimental reasons. others because they feel guilt because “mother would kill me if I didn’t keep this.” The younger generation appear to want nothing but cash assets. Even if your children do take a few items, their children definitely don’t want them now, and most likely will feel the same in the future. They are not interested in antiques or traditional possessions when they could take the cash and go to IKEA or Pottery Barn. This is the trend.

Holding on to possessions because you don’t want to let them go will leave a massive burden on your children. Gifting now and making plans for the distribution of your possessions while you are still here (and in control of those decisions) is the best plan of action. Take it from one who knows!

When a Change in Health Prompts a Change in Your Will

July 24, 2013 | Julie Hall

An estimated 50% of us have a will or trust! This is not good news!

Most people have not yet comprehended (or accepted) that dying without a will is a very costly mistake that will negatively impact all you leave behind. It’s not just about the hassles and frustrations your heirs will go through potentially for years, but the expenses involved. Ultimately, the state you live in will make decisions regarding your estate that will not distribute it the way you would have chosen. In a nutshell, get it done now and leave a legacy of respect, instead of resentment.

For those who do have a will, it is important to consider any changes in mental and physical health, as these could greatly impact the outcome of someone’s wishes. For example, let’s say mom’s healthcare power of attorney states that dad makes all decisions for mom in the event she is incapacitated, vegetative state, etc. Suddenly dad is exhibiting odd behavior and is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, which is progressing rapidly. Can he now make sound decisions for mom? Or, mom may not think about these details and this is the time for the children to talk with her about it.

So many Boomer children don’t know how to talk with their parents about these delicate issues, so permit me to offer some very sound advice. It has to be done; it has to be discussed, as painful as it is. If left “under the carpet,” no answers will be available to you should they become infirm or die. Get the answers now, and do so with love and compassion.

Here’s one example: “Mom, we were thinking about yours and dad’s situation. Now that dad is showing a decline in health, new decisions have to be made and documented so your wishes are fulfilled the way you would like them to be. Dad is no longer capable of understanding complex issues, and you will need to choose a new healthcare power of attorney, so we can ensure the correct decisions will be made. Can you please give this some thought? Can we make an appointment with your attorney to have this changed soon?

This one example really gets you thinking. Anytime there is a significant change in your life or a parent’s life, consider discussing with an elder law or estate planning attorney. Being proactive isn’t always easy or pleasant, but it can head off gut-wrenching issues that will occur at some point, especially if you have elderly loved ones. Making sound decisions in the midst of crisis is not the optimal time to think clearly.

Lead with love, and start communicating while you can!

The Yard Sale

July 15, 2013 | Julie Hall

Funny how the simplest things often have the biggest impact in our lives. I was only five years old, but I remember it well. Dad told mom he wanted to hit some of the yard sales in the neighborhood. She just rolled her eyes because she did not share in his enthusiasm for “buying other people’s junk.” Dad, however, always felt there could be hidden treasure out there. To him, that treasure might be finding a good rake for $2.

Dad turned to the little me and asked, “Want to go, Jul?” I was only too happy to go on an adventure with him. As small as I was, there was something appealing about how dad described yard sales. I ran to my room where I promptly raided the pink piggy bank of the $3. it contained, mostly in coins. Instinctively, I somehow knew the drill.

Mom was right about many of the sales; a lot of it looked like junk. So dad and I continued walking through the large neighborhood, hand in hand, in hopes of bringing home a keeper.

As we headed up a long driveway, I caught a glimpse of it in the sunshine — the prettiest owl I had ever seen. You would have thought I had found my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and my eyes remained focused on that owl until it landed in my little hands for me to study. I turned it over and dad told me it said it was made in Mexico … a pottery owl made in Mexico. Wow! I had to have it. The masking tape sticker said $1.

Dad tried to talk me out of it because $1 was a lot of money in 1967. But my stubborn streak had already made itself known and he gave in to the Mexican owl. He taught me how to negotiate with the owner, but she must have liked the owl too, for she refused to come down from the dollar. It was okay because I really wanted it. Believe it or not, I still have the memory of handing that lady the money and her handing me the coveted owl. Mom never said a word about my owl, but probably thought dad had just created a yard sale monster.

I still have that owl in my kitchen and yes, I still love it.

It’s no longer the aesthetic value that holds my heart, but what the owl represents. Little did I know then, that my life would be dedicated to the understanding and handling of personal property and the many issues that come with it — how to sell it, what it’s worth, what should be kept, donated and thrown away, etc. I had no inkling that I would eventually become The Estate Lady®. Looking back, I can see clearly how that one special day with dad helped shape a little girl.

Just as my father’s dementia was getting really bad, I recounted this story for him and handed him the owl as he sat at my kitchen table. I told him he was the one who sent me on this journey when I was only 5 years old and that he lead me to my purpose. Dad studied the owl and ran his fingers along the edge. He turned it over to reveal the word “Mexico.” Suddenly, his face lit up as he recognized it from long time ago. I saw his eyes tear up and he asked me how long it had been since that day at the yard sale.

“Forty-five years, Dad. It’s been 45 years since then.”

As dad continued to reflect on the owl and that memory we both managed to preserve, he simply said, “Where did the time go, dear? It goes so fast.”

Dad died shortly thereafter. Even with dementia, we shared a powerful memory when all else was lost. Now the owl is even more precious to me!

The Violin

July 9, 2013 | Julie Hall

The unexpected grandeur was almost more than I could handle. I have never felt my spirit soar quite like this, having explored the entire interior of Alaska this month. Being in the midst of such untouched beauty is exactly what the doctor ordered to renew my soul after losing so much personally last year.

Part of the trip was a luxury cruise, and like most cruises, one has a tendency to get a bit lazy eating way too much. It did not surprise me that my teenage daughter went in one direction, and hubby and I went in another. There was a small lounge on our way back to the cabin that had hourly entertainment, and it was there that my ears instantly lead me to, almost as if I had to go listen. From a distance I could hear the delicate but soulful draw of the bow against the violin, an instrument I have always had an affection for. In the wrong hands, this instrument can make your head hurt and create cringes as powerful as nails on a chalkboard. In the right hands, it will bring the listener to tears.

The group was originally from the Philippines, with one on the violin and another on classical guitar. What drew me to their sound was the perfection of what I heard, and “perfection” is not a word I use easily. Having studied classical music for most of my childhood and adolescence, I knew a pro when I heard them. The violin is a temperamental instrument, so when you found someone who could make it sing, it was always worth listening.

During their short break, the violin sat by itself on the polished black baby grand. Alone, it was a pretty thing, but it was just an inanimate object that sat there waiting for its owner. It was powerless without him. The gentleman dressed in black returned, picked up the violin, and nestled it under his chin, drawing his bow in preparation to play.

From the moment that bow met with the strings, I knew that this wooden instrument was more a part of him than his own arm. He had clearly dedicated his life to the pursuit of beautiful music and had a love affair with this violin, rarely seen. It was not a matter of commanding the violin to do what he wanted; it was a matter of letting his spirit invade it and the two becoming one. He played classics from all eras, including some easy listening, some classical, some love songs. My eyes never left his upper torso, witnessing how much love he had for the sound they created together, and how his body moved with the violin, bringing it to life. The violin was only too happy to perform.

Corny as it sounds, when he started playing Somewhere Over the Rainbow, I just lost it and the tears came. Never had I heard such clarity, felt such powerful emotion and admiration … on a cruise ship for that matter! His talent was wasted here in the middle of the North Pacific, or so I thought before realizing how much pleasure he brought to those who were listening.

I don’t know his name, this stranger who brought me to tears. Perhaps it was the breathtaking scenery of ice capped mountains, icebergs, and glaciers that had already touched me. what I do know is how rare it is to find someone who has dedicated themselves to one thing, in the quest of being the best they can be. Clearly, he had a calling and a gift, but we all do whether we realize it or not. The time has come to look within ourselves to uncover our gifts so that we can move forward in our lives, touching others with our gifts. I believe this is the purpose of our lives.

Whoever he is, he will never know the positive impact he had on me. I can only hope someone will discover him and get him on a stage where he can touch many more!

Venturing Outside “The Box”

June 28, 2013 | Julie Hall

There’s a place we all retreat to that is as comfortable as our favorite pair of old blue jeans. We have a tendency to stay inside our box so we feel we are in a protected territory, comforted and safe from the world out there. It is a place that, while not very adventurous, virtually assures us an existence of simplicity and familiarity; there is nothing wrong with that if it’s what we choose.

This was my year to go outside of my nice, comfy box and I knew it would take much self-talk to get it done. Deep down, I love the idea of adventure, but end up being a weenie … kind of like the canary who dreams of being an eagle. Numerous internal conversations between the many Julies that exist inside me said it was time to do things I had never done before … to go beyond my comfort zone.

I decided it was time for a little adventure. Maybe it’s time to feel alive again. Maybe it’s just a mid-life crisis. Maybe it’s because I had a lovely, but very cautious upbringing and felt the need to break out of the mold just a little bit. So here’s what I did:

I kayaked among Orcas in 1,200 feet of pristine water, admiring ancient forests from the ice age and bald eagles soaring overhead, as my paddles gently cut through the water. Not a sound to be heard except me and nature. Even seals popped up in curiosity. I should have worn a diaper, but I was so awestruck, I didn’t even feel nervous.

Always afraid of heights, I encouraged myself to get on a tiny “bubble” helicopter and see glaciers and mountains from a different point of view. Even though the pilot didn’t look old enough to drive, I really pushed myself to enjoy the adventure and it was exhilarating! Truth be told, I was happy to have my feet on the ground again, but would have denied myself this beauty had I not gone high in the sky. Here are some images of that flight.

Look at the gorgeous blue glacier lake on the white snow from 5,000 feet up. It looks like Tide detergent on a white sheet!

I trekked the top of a glacier, hearing crunches and crackling of ice with every step I took. Some steps looked as if I was walking on water as you could see running water under the clear icy surface. They say some of these pockets are several hundred feet deep and I certainly didn’t want to end up in one of them. But, how many times will I ever get to walk on a glacier? That is what fueled my feet to go further.

To see a gathering of humpback whales working together to feed was an incredible and incomparable experience. They say it is rare to see this, but we saw it several times. I was lucky enough to catch a photo, with my husband holding onto me in the back of a rocky boat and me hanging over the edge to get the photo. I was the only one to get it too, because I was willing to go over the edge, with a little help from hubby. How awesome is this?

We ventured farther into Denali than most. To see this vast, protected land with wild animals and ecosystems that work in sync with each other was really a sight to behold. Thank God for the people who conserve such places. Mt. McKinley (Denali) is breathtaking!

I did not go on the world’s biggest zip line. OK, so I chickened out on that one, but I figured, “Why tempt fate with a dinky metal cable?” No matter how much self-talk I engaged in, the answer was always “NO way!”

I am blessed! Blessed that I was able to have these experiences, blessed with wonderful family and friends, blessed in many aspects. Ultimately, the ability to go outside our comfort zone is a very personal decision. All I kept asking myself during this trip was, “What if I hadn’t done these things?” Look at what I would have missed!

So here I sit in the comfort of my office sharing this with you. I can honestly say I didn’t miss riding the biggest zip line in the world. Now that I can live with!