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Condition, Condition, Condition

| Julie Hall

When it comes to the worth of heirlooms, there is one characteristic of value that I want everyone to understand: Original Condition.

We all know what the word original means: initial, first, earliest, the real thing.  It means the condition of an item that has been left intact, that way the artist or creator intended it to be.  No stripping, refinishing, repairs, paint, drilled holes, polishing and lacquering, etc.  To a collector wanting to buy a fine item, original shows that the piece is true to the period and proves its’ age by leaving it alone over the course of time.

But everyone out there seems to believe that if mother’s tables are antique, they are definitely valuable.  This is NOT the case; please forward this to anyone who is of this mindset.  There are many characteristics of value, and age is only one of them.  Condition is at the top of the list.  Here is where it gets cloudy …

I’m called to an estate to see lovely antiques, but they are in less than stellar condition.  They are covered in years of nicotine or mold/mildew, or have been exposed to years of humidity or heat.  All the owner understands is that these items are old and should put considerable cash in their pocket.

What an appraiser sees is that they were not taken care of for whatever reason.  The original condition has been altered and getting it back to a “sellable” condition will take a small miracle, not to mention more money than the piece is actually worth.  They can still be sold and a fixer-upper buyer will want them, but at a fraction of the price people have in their heads.  Then people get upset because their pieces are not selling well, or feel jilted because what they “perceived” they would sell for didn’t transpire.  I know … it’s a lot to take in!

Even antiques or semi-antiques in fine condition are not necessarily valuable.  Times are changing.  The economy has changed the market drastically.  The statistics of how many boomers and elderly we have in this country is mind-blowing.  So if you are considering selling your heirlooms, look at them like an appraiser and consider all flaws before setting expectations sky-high.

© 2011 Julie Hall

The Band-Aid Analogy

| Julie Hall

Sometimes you just don’t want to do what lies ahead of you.  The little angel on your right shoulder says you have to do it, and the little devil sitting on your left shoulder tells you to blow it off and forget about it.

This internal tug-of-war happens to each of us every day whether we are consciously aware of it or not.  But when it keeps nagging at you and occupies your every thought, it’s time for action. 

Think of the simplicity of the Band-Aid.  You cover up one of life’s little boo-boos and keep on going.  Eventually, you have to take that sticky thing off and naturally it’s fastened permanently to your arm hairs.  You know it’s going to hurt.  Maybe if you just ignore it, it will go away?  Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way.  You must face it head on.

Now you have two choices with that Band-Aid:

1.  Grab hold of the end and rip it off super fast so the pain only lasts a short while, or

2.  Slowly and painfully peel it back, taking every arm hair with it.

What kind of personality do you have?  Deal with it quickly and relatively painlessly, or do it slowly, methodically, and deal with the pain?

People can be like Band-Aids.  When dealing with estate settlement, very often these two personality types will have to intermingle, and sometimes without much success.

Try to be as amiable as possible and reach a compromise.  No matter which way you look at it, it’s painful, but going through it with someone else who understands and is willing to work together as teammates somehow makes it flow easier.

© 2011 Julie Hall

She Just Didn’t “Get It”

| Julie Hall

Though my efforts were admirable, my client simply did not want to hear the values I placed on her “heirlooms.”  I was there in her lovely, traditional home getting paid handsomely for a couple of hours of my time to offer her an opinion of value, but I am not certain she heard what I had to say.  As with all of my clients, I have a way of being succinct and direct, yet kind and compassionate.  I offer guidance they can trust and direction based on the market and where it is headed.  It is not always an easy combination to attain.

In her home, all things were phenomenally valuable according to her.  She had, after all, done her research.  Her figurines were worth far more than ever recorded, and simple ceramics or collectibles were off the charts.  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know these figures just aren’t applicable, especially now.  I tried to bring her down to a realistic place and questioned where she got these “values.”  Some came from research a dozen years ago when the market was strong, and others were on very high retail sites.  These are not viable sales comps.

This is the new reality.  It is worth what someone is willing to give you for it, and in this economy if the offer is fair, take it.  Just know what you have first.

When researching prices on the internet, compare apples to apples and not just asking prices on retail sites.  Find out what the items are actually selling for.

A rude awakening, perhaps, but gone are the days of spending wildly — at least for the next few years.

© 2011 Julie Hall

Quoted on MSN Money by Liz Weston

| Julie Hall

MSN Money’s personal finance expert, Liz Weston, wrote about “How to Avoid Fights Over Mom’s Stuff.”  http://money.msn.com/family-money/how-to-avoid-fights-over-moms-stuff-weston.aspx

Thanks, Liz, for asking me to contribute to a topic that is at the heart of what I do.  This is why I wrote the book, “The Boomer Burden – Dealing With Your Parents’ Lifetime Accumulation of Stuff” and “How to Divide Your Family’s Estate and Heirlooms Peacefully and Sensibly”. 

I want to educate people to avoid the harsh and painful reality of fighting and hurt that comes when families have to divide a parent’s possessions.  Thank you, Liz, for bringing attention to this topic with such clarity and insight. 

Welcome to those new visitors who are linking to my blog from Liz’s article.  There are over 100 weekly posts here full of valuable insights about all areas of personal property.  Check out the categories on the right, and sign up to receive my weekly blog.  While you are there, you can click directly to Amazon.com and order my books in either print or ebook versions.

A Case of the Grumpies

| Julie Hall

We are bombarded by tens of thousands of media messages daily.  We even have miniscule handheld gadgets and crazy fingers that fly faster than the typing secretaries we see in the old black and white movies.  As if our desktops aren’t enough, we feel the need to remain “connected” to any new technological advance, and constantly have the media in our face.  Sadly, we are exposed to all the negative energy the world has to offer.  No wonder we are so tired.

As a result of this exposure, the state of the economy, the politicians’ barrage of empty promises, financial strife, etc., we all seem a little angrier and much grumpier than we used to be.

It’s no different for those settling an estate.  Everyone feels a particular piece was sentimental only to them, or “Mom always wanted me to have that.”  Heirs go into the division of assets with the image they will always get what they want and this simply is not the case.  Arguments of what has value, differences of opinion, who-gets-what, things disappearing in the night … all of this happens because our loved ones failed to plan ahead.

Obstacles abound every way we turn.  Frustrating?  Yes.  A reason to go out into the world and make everyone miserable?  NO!

Mom always said we can make a choice how we behave out in the world and inside ourselves.  The next time you see someone walking around with the weight of the world on their back, make a choice and give them a great big smile.  It’s amazing how something so simple can have such great impact on them … and on you!

© 2011 Julie Hall

His Outgoing Message Said …

| Julie Hall

“Hi.  I hope you are going to have a great day.  Sometimes, you’ve just got to go out there, do your best, and grab what you can.  Make the most of your day and make it a great one.”

You may recall last week I wrote about a lovely man who is dying and his energy and attitude were incredible.  He lifted me up with his words and charisma.  Yesterday I called him to reconfirm an appointment to come and look at items he wanted to sell in order to donate the proceeds.  His outgoing message was quoted above.

I thought to myself with so much going wrong these days, here is this one gentleman who probably doesn’t have much time left, and yet he is making a very strong impact on those around him.  Touching them in an incredibly selfless manner.  We don’t see that often, do we?  Not in this me-me-me world.

It is difficult for us to reach deep down and pull up all the good that is within us, especially in the midst of the many challenges we face today.  But if this one man can project beauty and goodness in his darkest days, we can too.

So I will add only one thing to his outgoing message:  Smile a lot today, especially to those you don’t know.  You never know what challenges they are facing.

Your Reality Check for the Day

| Julie Hall

My clients have taught me that in the end, the worth of an item is measured only by the joy it brings at a particular point in time.  Many of us claim to cherish our possessions, only to discover that with the passage of time, they don’t mean as much anymore, or they have become a burden to us in some way.

Perhaps our tastes have changed.  Our home is too cluttered, or the sheer volume of what we own has caused marital strife.  Maybe you feel guilty because mom passed away and you feel the need to take a lot of what she owned.

Today, more and more people are selling their stuff to downsize, make extra money, empty an estate, or to simplify their lives and not have their stuff own them.  I’ve seen each scenario described, and I have witnessed what appear to be love affairs between people and their things.

A recent client told me he was terminally ill and he had many collectibles and oddities he had collected over the years.  He wanted me to come over, sell what I could, and send the proceeds to benefit a wonderful organization.  What a beautiful thought, but it’s what he said that made me really think:  “Mrs. Hall, it’s time for someone else to enjoy these items which brought me so much pleasure.  I am blessed beyond measure.  These are just things that I had fun fixing up and looking at.  But it is a humbling thought knowing someone won’t make it through the night, and it’s time to move forward.  My job right now is not to worry about this stuff … it’s to live as long as I can!”

Suddenly, everything shifted as his words sunk in.  I always thought I was unique to my industry – that while I was an expert in personal property, I never truly had love for these things, just appreciation.  Clients like him have taught me what’s really important in life.

© 2011, The Estate Lady

Live So You Make a Difference in Others’ Lives

| Julie Hall

Cleaning out estates never gets dull — I just never know what I will uncover next or what heartwarming lesson I will learn.  Sometimes I am covered head to toe in grime and sweat, and other days it’s a tiptoe through a pristine mansion.  But no matter what our residence may look like, at the heart of the home lies the very essence of who we are.  Our possessions reveal a great deal about us as individuals.

Today, we completed the clean-out of an elderly nurse who served her entire life.  She didn’t just serve in the hospital; she served her community by becoming “Miss Sue” in the neighborhood.  She had been in the same home 60+ years.  No matter what the community needed, she was there.  Someone needed first aid in a hurry; people took them to Miss Sue.  A young girl found herself in trouble; you go to Miss Sue.  As six decades passed, Miss Sue saw her neighborhood change.  There were juvenile delinquents, drugs in the area, other crime, etc., but everyone still went to Miss Sue for whatever they needed, and she was always happy to help.

As the last little bit of furniture was removed from Miss Sue’s home today, we were approached by numerous neighbors from all walks of life.  They surely loved Miss Sue and missed her terribly.  As I drove away, sweaty and tired from the hard day’s work, I thought to myself what a wonderful life Miss Sue lived.  She served so many during her lifetime and really made a difference!

© 2011, The Estate Lady

Mementos of Killed Marine Sold By Mistake

| Julie Hall

This was the headline in our local paper a few days ago.  The young widow accidentally sold a suitcase at a yard sale that contained photos and special items that were of her late Marine husband with their children.  I thought to myself, “Oh no … those photos are irreplaceable and probably gone forever.”

The article was a monumental effort across the country to appeal to anyone who might find it, as the buyers at the yard sale told the widow they would probably sell the suitcase at a flea market.  To my knowledge, it has not yet been found.

A couple of things come to mind:

  1. We feel for this woman and all she has gone/is going through, and it was most likely a simple oversight that she forgot to open the suitcase prior to selling.  As a professional, I  can honestly say it’s vital to leave no stone unturned.  Whether you are sorting through a loved one’s belongings, or you hire a professional, everything must be gone through with a fine tooth comb.  You never know what you’re going to find.
  2. Professionals in my industry already know to sift through everything, but family might be experiencing emotions too strong to deal with it at the moment, feel as if they are in a fog for a while, or can’t quite get themselves to sort through the items in the depth they should — through no fault of their own.  We understand grief and have compassion for our clients.  Sometimes, an objective professional party can help the family through that, and ensure that everything has truly been sorted and gone through, so accidents like this don’t occur.

My heart goes out to this widow and her children, and I sincerely hope that whoever buys the suitcase with the precious photos of the fallen Marine and his children will find a way to get them back to their rightful owner.

© 2011, The Estate Lady

Make a Plan for the Ashes

| Julie Hall

Several years ago, I was preparing for an estate sale and found cremated remains in the bottom of a china hutch.  They were handed to the son, who promptly tossed them under the kitchen sink right in front of me.  Yes, you read that correctly.  The ashes were tossed in with the Comet, Cascade, rags, and Brillo pads.  I was aghast!  How could anyone do such a thing?

I called the attorney’s office to report this horrible act and offered something above and beyond my call of duty.  I offered to appropriately scatter the ashes in a beautiful place and say a prayer for this deceased person.

Today, years after the fact, I received a call asking me to handle the remains because no one else will.  It is a strange thought: here I am, a perfect stranger to the decedent, yet I care more about him than his own family.  I know there are laws concerning this and I will do my due diligence to appropriately handle this out-of-the-ordinary mission that has landed in my lap.  Surely a family member would care enough to tend to this need?  Sadly, not one of them does care.

This should be a reminder to us all that when a loved one is cremated (including our beloved pets), plans must be made in advance for their final resting place.  What if the one who has the ashes in their possession dies and no one in the family knows what to do with them?  This is especially important in blended families.  It’s not something we think about often, but a plan will ensure that the proper procedure will be followed when the time comes.

© 2011, The Estate Lady