Great Expectations and the Blame Game

November 12, 2014 | Julie Hall

“Don’t blame others for disappointing you. Blame yourself for expecting too much.” – Unknown

Though it sounds harsh, we need to take a close look at our expectations and learn how to keep them in neutral. We have turned into a society that expects the world to be at our beck and call. We’re often entitled and don’t understand why we can’t have what we want … now! Maybe this is one reason why people are pretty cranky these days; society is headed in an unpleasant direction.

I share some of my innermost thoughts to help keep expectations in check. I’m seeing people, on a national level, being unreasonable when it comes to what possessions and estate items are selling for these days. Although there are multiple reasons for this, we need to look longer and deeper into the reasons before blaming the estate sale professional, auctioneer, consignment company, etc.

Each time I hear someone say, “Why are things selling so low? Why hasn’t the market come back yet? I just don’t understand!” I am really surprised. If you are watching the news, the internet, or any other global source, it should come as no surprise that things are a little crazy in the world. Despite what mainstream media announces, the economy from our perspective (the sellers) is not improving.

It is currently, and will remain, a buyer’s market for quite some time.

Personal property is low, just like almost everything else. Our expectations should remain fairly low until such a time that these items regain popularity or collect-ability, when and if that time comes back.

We, the sellers of personal property, know the market; one of our faults may be not explaining this completely to our clients. We need to do our best to fully explain the poor economy, the flooding of the market from our older loved ones leaving us, the boomers downsizing, and our younger adults not wanting much stuff. Flooding of the market is a concept easy to understand, once it is explained.

I have also attributed the client blame, which I hear from estate professionals, to several factors outside our realm of influence.

People need money, or need to preserve the money they have.
People are worried about the heavy costs of healthcare, especially long-term chronic care. How long can they keep their parents’ care going if they outlive their money, which many are doing?
People believe family lore about how valuable certain pieces were, only to be side-swiped with a realistic fair market value. This derails them and rapidly deflates their bubble of expectation. They thought these items would sell for a small fortune, and in most cases, they don’t.
When times were good, our clients paid top dollar for nice, well-made furniture; often thousands of dollars were spent. Retail no longer exists in our world, so forget about retail. This furniture will not sell for 75% or even 50% of what you paid for it in most cases. Prepare yourself for 25% to 30%. If it sells for more, consider that a fortunate occurrence.
When all of this knowledge converges and comes tumbling down, the property sellers often get slammed with anger and frustration.
People need to understand that most possessions do not appreciate in value, even if they are special and expensive.
Unfortunately, you may have paid too much for items in the past. That cannot justify a high or unrealistic price when you sell them.

I really want my voice to reach both the consumers and my colleagues in the industry. There are always two sides. IF an estate professional does their due diligence in every respect, is it fair for the client to be harsh towards the professional, due to unrealistic expectations? This is why communication is so important!

Look at the economy.
Look at other people going through tough times and how quickly styles, lifestyles, and people are changing.
Look at the market with a reasonable eye.
Keep your expectations in neutral.

We’re all in this boat together!

Julie Hall, The Estate Lady®, is the foremost national expert on personal property in estates, including liquidating, advising, and appraising. http://www.TheEstateLady.com She is also the Director of American Society of Estate Liquidators®, the national educational and resource organization for estate liquidation. http://www.aselonline.com.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com.

Estate Items: What’s Hot and What’s Not?

November 7, 2014 | Julie Hall

As we head into the new year, we also head into continued uncertainty with our economy, among other challenges. The past few years have left some battle scars on the personal property industry, and the economy is still in a weakened state. We are witnessing the market become flooded with traditional furnishings. One has to wonder:

When will the market return?
What is currently selling well, if traditional furnishings are selling low?

How I wish I had that crystal ball! Since we don’t, we can only read the trends based on our experience.

This list is not all-inclusive, but just the highlights of the market. Items on the “NOT selling well” list are still selling but only if prices have been significantly lowered by the seller/liquidator.

Just this week, we saw a fantastic antique English, curly maple chest of drawers sell for $150 at an auction. A few years ago, that piece would have brought $1,000.

Please don’t blame the seller; this isn’t the seller’s fault.

The market is simply not bearing healthy prices on many items at this time.

This is the new normal.

What’s currently HOT and selling well?

Mid century furniture, some Danish modern, designer furniture from this era
Military items: Civil War to present day
Genuine and costume jewelry
Sterling silver/gold/platinum
Vintage toys
Record albums: classic rock, jazz, blues. Not opera or classical yet.
Vintage electronics and stereos
Utilitarian items: housewares, cookware, kitchen ware, tools, camping, etc.
Used cars/boats
Vintage garden and patio items
Guns
Yard items/ornamental/garden tools

What’s NOT selling well?

Traditional “brown” furniture
Glassware: clear etched, cut crystal, pressed glass, etc.
China sets and painted porcelains
Victorian furniture, other dark heavy antique pieces
Holiday items/collections
Rugs: Persian, Oriental
Collector plates and figurines (Franklin Mint, Bradford Exchange, etc.)
Upholstered furniture
Common antiques
Dining room furniture, hutches
Print media: numbered prints, mass-produced art items

If there’s one thing for certain, it’s that things are always changing. For now and for quite some time to come, these are the trends and predictions. One day, this will change too; we just don’t know when.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com.

The Haunting and the Healing

October 29, 2014 | Julie Hall

Humans can be haunted in many ways: their own fears, an unforgettable bad memory, or a visit from a ghost of the past. Sometimes a wound is so deep, it has trouble healing because we keep things buried. The hard part of being haunted is we may not know how to heal it.

I am haunted by a particular memory of my beloved father; I was very close to him. Dad had dementia, and even through this experience, we remained close. For all people and caregivers who deal with this beast called dementia, there is no instruction manual, no safe harbor that will provide concise answers and direction to make skilled, knowledgeable decisions. All you can do is your best.

Dad got along just fine for a long time, until one day, he didn’t. It all happened so fast. The day before, we laughed, we ate, we talked and walked and shopped. It was a good day. By that midnight, the nurses started calling me. Dad had declined rapidly — within hours. A new drug the doctor kept recommending was given to him. The doctor said it was time for him to take it, now that this decline was happening. I was worried about all the drugs he was already taking. Little did I know, this drug would claim his life a few short days later. I did not know he had a sensitivity to it and feel responsible for what happened. This is the haunting that I had been carrying.

Last night, I had the most vivid dream. So vivid, I could see every detail as if I was wide awake and it was really happening. I was standing inside a fishing boat on a very large, beautiful lake. Fishing pole in hand, I cast my line and suddenly found myself tangled up in the line. It looped around my shoulders, arms, neck, hands, and face. The more I struggled to get free, the more entangled I became. The line consumed me to the point I could barely move and panic set in. It was as if I had been wrapped like a mummy with fish line.

Suddenly, my dad appeared right next to me in the boat. He was wearing his favorite, old, beige windbreaker, blue and white plaid shirt (complete with mechanical pencils and sunglasses case in his pocket), navy ball cap, glasses, and baggy jeans. He was holding a pair of wire clippers and he gently and slowly raised his hands, as if to tell me to calm down as he started clipping the fish line.

With a few snips, I was free.

Dad gathered the tangled fish line in his hands and threw it behind him, then turned and looked at me. He said, “Jul, you don’t need that anymore. Let it go.” Just like that, he disappeared.

Wow, what a powerful message! Dad was telling me to let my “haunting” go about the medication and what led to his demise. He was telling me not to carry it anymore.

Was this apparition really dad who came to comfort me, God himself healing me, or a figment of my imagination? I prefer to consider one of the first two. Whomever it was, the experience left me with a great weight lifted.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com.

Are You Leaving Behind a Gift or Guilt?

October 23, 2014 | Julie Hall

Are you leaving a gift or guilt for your loved ones? A bounty or a burden? It’s time to think about it. Seriously.

Living or deceased, in about 90% of the cases I see, older adults are leaving a burden. This is not criticism, but merely an observation. I see older adults:

not thinning out or downsizing
not sorting through files from decades ago
not having old business/company paperwork shredded
not recycling magazines, catalogs, and newspapers that are piled high
not going through boxes that were packed when they moved in years prior
not sorting through closets which contain clothes not worn in years
not sorting through family photos (which means the children won’t know who’s in them)
not whittling down the kitchen’s abundance of glassware and cookware

In short, they are either unwilling or simply don’t have the energy to tackle this. In either case, there is always professional assistance available to help; first, you have to want to do this. Knowing human behavior, I think some of it is also avoidance.

If an older adult doesn’t want to do these things, what makes them think their kids or loved ones will want to do them?

I can tell you firsthand, they don’t.

We should start downsizing at 50 and keep doing a little each year, so what does pile up is manageable and never reaches that daunting level. Here’s the hard-hitting reality of this blog: if you don’t do it now, you are leaving an overwhelming task for your children or loved ones to handle after you leave this place. As a personal favor, please don’t do that.

One of the most horrible things I have ever heard is, “I’m leaving it for the kids to deal with. I won’t be here.” Many will consider this a very selfish way of thinking.

The children or loved ones we leave behind have very busy lives of their own. They may still have children to raise and a full-time job. They may be caring for other family members who are ailing. It’s also possible they are up in age and not quite able to do the cleaning out themselves. It is a task no one wants to tackle, especially when they happen to live 600 miles away and have to take time off work (often their personal vacation time) to clean out an estate.

If you could see what I see when they are in these homes putting in 110% effort with little progress, it is a sad sight to behold. The legacy one intends to leave is not the one the children actually feel. They feel sad, mad, and often have a dazed look on their faces as they complain that mom and dad had years to do this cleaning and never did.

“Why did they leave this for me?”

One of the very best gifts or legacy you could leave your loved ones, is to begin the process of whittling down and clearing out, even if you have to hire help, or find trustworthy volunteers to do it. You may not be there to see the relief and gratitude on their faces, but take it from one who knows. It makes all the difference in the world to them. They will truly appreciate your gift … and your legacy will live on.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com.

Simple Things

October 18, 2014 | Julie Hall

At the end of a very long and taxing week, I felt like I would keel over from the fatigue of cleaning out a challenging estate several floors up in an affluent high-rise community. There were many rules: you can’t use the elevator when …, you can’t come before this time, you can’t do any moving on weekends, you can only park here, etc. The week just wore me out. As luck would have it, there just happened to be a full moon. One day when I came home dragging so badly, I spotted a buzzard sitting on the roof peak of my house looking down at me. I just looked up at him and said, “I may look dead to you, but I’m still alive and kicking, buddy!”

Lately, everything seems to be so complicated.

Yesterday, a friend of mine came over for a visit and spotted a photo of my late father sipping on his favorite strawberry shake from Steak and Shake. It was an impromptu photo I snapped because Dad looked so cute, like a little boy enjoying the heck out of a $3 shake, even though he was 82 years old.

My friend commented, “This photo is the epitome of your dad! This is how he should be remembered.” That got me thinking about the simple things that we all overlook, especially when life gets complicated.

The estates I handle are seldom straightforward and easy. Each has its’ own unique set of potential problems and logistics to solve, to make the job easier for everyone involved. The “human” aspect of the work can often cause the flow to be interrupted. Some clients are terrific and laid back; others have a lot going on that is hard to balance. But, we love what we do and we do it well.

You know those challenging days that never seem to end. You come home to a ton of phone calls, the teenager has a problem, your pet has a vet appointment, the lawn needs mowing, bills need paying … you have the feeling of “Calgon, take me away!” Lately, I’m having many Calgon moments.

On my way home yesterday, ready to collapse on the sofa, I saw a young boy trying to walk his puppy on a leash. It looked like the first time for both of them. The puppy did not understand how the leash worked and the little boy could not understand why the puppy didn’t get it. It was very comical to watch as the little boy talked to his puppy. “Why can’t you just walk straight like other dogs?” He said it with the tone of an innocent child, more inquisitive than angry. All the puppy knew how to do was romp and lick him, which made the boy laugh. They attempted their walk one more time with giggles and a wagging tail.

I realized that I actually had a big smile on my face, thinking this little snippet of a boy’s life was very cute, just like my father sipping on the strawberry shake.

Ahhh, the simple things.

What a big impact they make, if we just let them!

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com.

Our Addiction to Acquisition

October 8, 2014 | Julie Hall

The world seems to be much smaller than it used to be; the same is true of our living space. I think we humans have a problem with buying and collecting too much. Two questions baffle me, even after all these years of handling estates:

Why do we collect so much stuff?

What possesses us to continually buy things we don’t need, don’t use, and eventually become a monkey on our backs or a burden to loved ones?

In order to understand, we must go back into our long-ago and far-away to understand our ancient ancestors. My very unscientific and unproven theory is that, as far back as caveman days, we were hardwired to hunt and gather. Fast forward to the 21st century. We don’t have to hunt any longer and it requires no effort or discipline to acquire things. We’ve become extremely proficient at gathering too.

People have truly become anchored by spending and acquiring stuff. For some, they become emotionally paralyzed in trying to let go of stuff. Stuff weighs people down, as I see so often in my work.

Now we have so much stuff, many people are about out of money or in great debt. When they sell some of what they acquired, they get upset when they can only regain a fraction of what they paid. As we let go of some stuff (that on some level we equate with success), we go through a very real fear that we won’t be able to replace it one day. What was once a comfort is now headed out the door.

To some people, acquiring things is a hobby. For others, it is an obsession. Yet our lifestyles are so different today; many are downsizing because they don’t want their possessions holding them back.

Here’s a history lesson on the acquisition of and attitude towards stuff:

We know the Depression Era folks rarely thew anything away. This behavior is ingrained in them to never go without again, having survived such challenging times. This generation has a tendency to go overboard on “stocking up,” a fear based response. This is also a psychological decision which brings comfort, since everything is close if they need it. As a sign of success, they are proud of their possessions, because during the Depression, they did without them.

This may explain why they keep leather straps, old shoelaces, myriad Cool Whip containers, mayonnaise jars, aluminum pie tins, pantyhose, pencil nibs, and enough rubber bands to stretch around the neighborhood. They also collect canned foods because “you never know when you are going to need them.”

The older Boomers are so traditional and as loyal as their parents; they generally have a difficult time letting go of stuff. They may feel a profound sadness in letting go of previous generations’ things, even as they realize the younger generation no longer wants these things. They are in the middle of making tough decisions to keep or sell these items.

This generation is responsible for keeping storage companies in business. But they don’t realize the items in storage lack the value of what they are paying for the storage costs. They live with high hopes that their children will change their minds and keep these things, and even higher hopes that their grandchildren will want them. If I was a betting woman, I would say, “NO, they will not change their minds.”

The younger boomers are still somewhat traditional, but generally do not feel the pressure to hold on to these things. This generation can let go much easier.

Enter the young generations X and Y. I can’t say much that would surprise you. They have little sentimentality. They seem to not have a desire for things of any kind, except what you can buy in IKEA. This generation would never understand the concept of keeping furniture for decades, or covering every table surface with trinkets. Theirs is a much simpler world.

They acquire virtually.

We acquire physically.

Do you see the huge division of thoughts, beliefs, and emotions causing problems in the market? We have too much supply and not enough demand from the younger generations.

What do you think will become of our antiques and collectibles with the passage of time?

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com.

Life is Hard; Massive Trend to Simplify

October 3, 2014 | Julie Hall

In the last 6 months, I have had about 15 clients preparing to leave the U.S. Several are headed to Costa Rica, one to Belize, and the others mostly Belgium and Switzerland. A couple of others are selling off all their worldly possessions and traveling the country, having sold their businesses and converted their belongings to cash.

In my practice, I am seeing a huge and fast occurring trend to simplify lives and, for lack of a better phrase, “get out of Dodge.” It is interesting to sit back and watch this occur. One would think the clients I am referring to are all affluent, but this is not the case. Some just want a different life, a simpler life with less rushing about. They are tired of being masters to large homes, caring for property, and owning more stuff than they can use.

They are even growing tired of the items they inherited, making peace and letting them go too. From what I can tell, these heirlooms have become monkeys on their backs and they are doing something about it.

We have already seen this mindset in the younger generations X and Y. The millennials have a thought-process all their own; it seems they came into this world not wanting stuff at all. They prefer cash, not stuff.

The majority of my clients divesting themselves of nearly everything are 50+ years and see the writing on the wall. These decisions usually come after their last parent has passed away, and the children are either grown or on their own. They themselves are either retired or been let go of their jobs early, and having trouble finding a new one.

It might seem impulsive to many of you who may be aghast at the thought of selling your worldly possessions. But this group of people, which is growing rapidly (based on the phone calls I receive each day), knows

they can’t take it with them,
the market is not doing us any favors, and
these things will be a burden to someone else someday.

I have followed up with many of these people, and here’s the kicker … They don’t regret a thing! They are so happy they let go of the very things that anchored them; now they are free to enjoy their lives and do what they really want to do.

Funny thing, “stuff.”

So many of us equate our success to the acquisition of stuff. Yet, in the end, it really doesn’t mean much because it cannot come with you.

Sure, we have our few favorite pieces we could never live without. We humans are creatures of habit. We only use 20% of what we own. Think about it! We wear our favorite clothes, favorite shoes and purses, and the rest just sits there. When is the last time you really enjoyed all of the items you brought back from mom’s house after she passed? Are they just sitting there on a shelf, kept but not truly cherished?

I am heeding my own advice and letting go of many things I spent 20+ years collecting. My husband is wondering why I am suddenly purging. It’s because we have too much, and we no longer want or need it. I’d rather have the cash, more space, and more time to enjoy myself!

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com.

What Fair Market Value is NOT

September 25, 2014 | Julie Hall

As an appraiser, I have to understand the definition of Fair Market Value (FMV). As confusing as FMV can sometimes be for the professional, I can imagine how convoluted it must be for the lay person.

Under the United States Treasury regulation 1.170-1(c), Fair Market Value is defined as:

The price at which the property would change hands between a willing buyer and a willing seller, neither being under the compulsion to buy or compulsion to sell and both having reasonable knowledge of relevant facts.

That definition simplified everything, didn’t it? I think not.

For someone who does not understand that definition and all that it implies, it can be left up to their own imaginations to fill in the blanks and specifics, which can be a very bad thing. The person who does not understand will conjure up crazy, inflated “values” that are not values at all; they are merely asking prices they found online. This is NOT Fair Market Value.

If you are at an estate sale and you and the seller exchange $20 for an item, and neither of you are being forced into this exchange, that $20 is the FMV for that day and moment. If both you and the seller have all the basic facts, the item is a flat screen TV that works and you agree on a price, and you are not being forced to buy or sell, it was a mutually agreeable transaction. This is Fair Market Value.

Let’s talk about other things that are NOT Fair Market Value:

It is not what you paid for an item (most people pay high retail and not FMV).
It is not wishful thinking. True values are arrived at with careful research and methodology.
It is not family lore. We know the stories of how “valuable” mom always said an item was, but that is not fair market value. Many of our older moms may not understand how very different things are today, or why younger women have little interest in their prized possessions.
It is not outdated appraisal values that were probably written for insurance purposes or in a much healthier market.
It is not what you think it should be, nor the amount of money needed to pay bills.
It is not the asking price you see on a similar item on the internet or Ebay. Asking prices are just asking prices. We’re interested in what it actually SOLD FOR.
It is not based on sentimentality (how much you, or a loved one, cherished it).
It is not about how old it is or how long you’ve had it. “Old” doesn’t necessarily mean it has value.

Everybody seems to have their own idea of fair market value, but very few I hear about are actually “fair.” At the end of the day, the market is what it is. All we can do is our very best to educate our clients, even if they don’t want to hear what we have to say.

Bottom line: An item is worth what someone will give you for it. Always enlist the help of a professional to guide you through, when you don’t have the answers.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com.

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

September 19, 2014 | Julie Hall

Sitting here with my morning coffee, I can hardly see the computer screen through my tears. I have gone from soft, silent crying to full force, hurting-my-gut weeping. My beloved “Tommy” is by my side and he is dying; I know you understand when I say it is killing a part of me too.

My head turns to the right to look outside my breakfast room windows and see the beautiful woods and birds at the feeders. The hummingbirds are active too, defending their feeding territories, preparing for their long journey before winter arrives. My head turns to the left and I see my beautiful cat of 12 years, my sweet buddy, who has heart failure and is declining rapidly. It happened so fast. Right now, he is a lump in the softest pile of blankets I could find.

I am very good at care-giving, making people and pets comfortable, but I cannot fix this. I cannot fix his heart or bring his vitality back, neither his playfulness or fun spirit. Right now it feels like he has a foot in both worlds and we are forced to say goodbye, either through God’s will or ours, very soon. I’m afraid I’m not very good at saying goodbyes. Lately, it seems I am saying goodbye far more than I’m saying hello.

One might wonder how a little cat could bring a strong woman to her knees emotionally. At the time Tommy came into our lives, I was a single mom and working very hard. One day I was outside gardening and I heard the tiniest cry coming from the woods. It wasn’t a bird, so I had to go investigate. What if some little creature was in trouble?

Finally, I saw him among the leaves and twigs; a tiny little fur ball no bigger than my palm and not old enough to be weaned. I watched for a long time to see if mom would appear, but something must have happened to the mother or she abandoned her kittens. Tommy had crawled through a large patch of woods where I found him, hungry and scared. Certain death would have been his fate with birds of prey and other critters around here. The decision had already been made. With one swoop of my arm, I scooped him up and put him on my chest; when he started purring, he owned my heart.

From that moment to this, he has proven himself to be the coolest cat in the world. He comes when you call him, plays with you, nuzzles you, and will do anything for a scratch under the chin. Very loving, very sweet-natured. Now, he is at the end of his life, and I discovered last night that his diagnosis is exactly what my mom died from. I was helpless then and I am helpless now. The drugs help with breathing, but there is no quality of life. I know what must be done but it is ripping me apart. The vet said he is not yet in any discomfort and I don’t want that to happen.

Two days ago, Tommy came into the kitchen where I was checking emails on my laptop. In a manner very uncharacteristic of him, he stood up on his hind legs, reached his paw as high as that paw could go, and tapped me on the chest. I looked down into those bright green eyes; it was as if he was trying to tell me something. Something I didn’t want to hear.

Just this minute, I let out a whimper as I wrote that last line and blew my nose. Tommy got up from his pile of blankets and is sitting right next to me. He just reached up and tapped me again with the same paw, wanting to be picked up. He’s trying to say he loves me; he has succeeded. I whispered “I love you too, buddy” in his ear. He wanted me to swoop him up in my arms once again and put him on my chest, just like I did in the woods so many years ago when he was lost.

You just never know how or when paths may cross to change your life forever.

I must end this blog now, because this purring embrace with him is too precious.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com.

The Value of Kindness in a Value-Less Estate

September 16, 2014 | Julie Hall

The old song “Break It to Me Gently” reminds us that any time bad news is coming, we’d rather hear it gently and compassionately than point-blank and hurtful. Many times in life we will be the deliverer of, and recipient of, less than stellar news. How we deliver it, and how we receive it, is a testament to our personal and professional character.

When we are called into an estate, we walk in completely objective, prepared to tell our clients the truth of what we see. The trouble is that sometimes our clients do not want to hear what we have to say. They may feel, because they paid so much for an item, it should have increased in value. They may feel that if they have an antique, it must be worth a fortune.

We hear the stories of “mom always said this was worth a fortune.” The family folklore gets juicier with the passage of time; therefore the items must be super valuable. How difficult to be the bearer of bad news, but we must remind our clients politely not to shoot the messenger.

Sometimes, hopefully not too often, we hear stories of estate professionals who are simply too direct or gruff with elderly clients. These professionals have lost their sensitivity somewhere along the way. Some might insult the client accidentally or intentionally. Some slam down the values of their items. Some say “no one would ever want this stuff” or “you don’t have anything good enough for me to sell.” What these professionals have forgotten is the art of being tactful and kind.

It is professional and right to be honest and upfront. It is good to guide the client to a place where they have some solutions, even if you yourself cannot help them.

It is the “best of the best” in this industry that can do all of these things with a kind face and a gentle heart.

There are ways to lower the boom without lowering the spirit. Certainly there are those who feel being blunt is the way to go. These believe that our clients need a firm voice and words to make them understand their possessions are not going to be worth much, since we know their expectations are too high. After all, some people are harder to convince than others; you would be correct in that thinking.

But as with all things in life, there is a balance that we professionals must once again recapture, which many of us have forgotten because we are all pressed for time and we multitask at every turn. We’re tired and always in search of that perfect estate. Sometimes you get it. Sometimes you don’t.

Food for thought: How would each of us like to be spoken to if we were faced with selling our own possessions or the possessions of a parent? What if the items a professional slammed belonged to our moms?

It is far easier to see our side of things because we do this every day. It is far more difficult to take a moment and step outside of ourselves, to see how it feels on the flip side. This one act will separate you from the mediocre and make you among the elite in this industry.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com.