The Accidental Expert

February 21, 2011 | Julie Hall

Never in a million years would I have thought I would turn out to be “The Estate Lady.” I would have been perfectly content with a career dealing with animals, being a marine biologist, or something more carefree than dealing with heirs and heirlooms each and every day. I used to think it was all by accident that I ended up where I am, writing books, speaking publicly, teaching at universities, etc.

Back in my twenties, and still working full-time for a large corporation, I met with Wilma, a lovely 103 year old woman, who needed assistance handling her soon-to-be-estate. I was just breaking into the estate business handling personal property, but I soon discovered I had a special gift of listening to people, uncovering their needs, then finding a way to fulfill those needs. It didn’t take me long to see the vision of what was coming and figure out that seniors – not to mention their children – needed me and my services.

Much to my horror, Wilma’s neighbors, upon hearing she was dying and had no heirs, decided to trample through her home in my absence and help themselves to her gorgeous possessions that had significant worth. Long story, short: Wilma knew she had been taken advantage of by these unscrupulous people who only had greed in their hearts, and truly lacked love and compassion for this elderly woman facing a difficult transition.

The saddest part is this happens each day, every day, in each city, in each state, to thousands of people every 24 hours.

Wilma was the client who unknowingly gave me my company name, The Estate Lady, decades ago. Was it really an accident I was there to witness such an account of low human behavior? Or was I there because it was my destiny to learn from the situation and educate and advocate for those who need it during the daunting times of dissolving the family home?

The more I think about it, the more clearly I see that it was no accident!

Beware of “CASH PAID FOR” Ads

February 7, 2011 | Julie Hall

It feels like the personal property world has gone a little bonkers. We have cable shows that demonstrate how to pick and make money off others who do not know the worth of their items, leaving the client feeling taken advantage of. We have people in the industry who are purchasing from their own estates. We have people who have lost their jobs and created overnight “estate liquidation specialist” companies, even though they have little experience.

Seller, BEWARE and BE CAREFUL. Use your scruples. Research the company through the Better Business Bureau, local colleagues, and professional organizations. Make sure you are dealing with someone who is recommended and is a trained professional.

I have long written and spoken on the importance of knowing what you have before you sell it, and that applies in today’s economy more than ever, when everyone is trying to make a buck off you!

Please don’t misinterpret my words. There are many estate experts out there who are truly outstanding at what they do, and ethical too! Even those who purchase from their estates, many are very fair. But like any other occupation, there are those who are not. The good ones are getting harder to find and are worth their weight in gold.

Everywhere in local papers you see, “Cash paid for antiques, collectibles, military items, etc.” Here’s my questions to you, the seller. How do you know that buyer offering cash isn’t offering you pennies on the dollar? How do you know that item he or she is offering $400 for is worth $20,000? Are you too eager? Are they sending red flags like “I’ll take it off your hands?”

Stick to your guns until you know what you are dealing with first, but you too must be fair. If an item appraises at $500, know you will not get that amount and it is unreasonable to expect that you would. Only the exceptional items are selling well in this market.

The majority of true collectors are pretty reasonable and have a tendency to offer a fair amount for an item. But someone who is in it to turn around and make money off the item(s) will often low-ball (not always, but they will try to increase their profit margin).

It is always worth getting a professional opinion, even if it costs a little bit — consider it a small insurance policy!

She was Having a Bad Heir Day

January 31, 2011 | Julie Hall

Joann and her brother were co-executors of their mother’s estate. One day, she decided she didn’t like how her brother was acting regarding the division of mom’s property. So she did what many heirs have done … however unthinkable it was … she asserted control over the issue in a not-so-nice manner.

I think you will agree she went about it all wrong! After I completed a consultation with her, she immediately called a locksmith and had all the locks changed so no one could get in the house but her. “My brother is not going to get the things he wants. He has ticked me off one time too many. I’ll show him … I’m going to get them before he does,” were her exact words. I hope my jaw didn’t drop too much.

Just when you think you’ve heard it all, she proceeds to move all the heirlooms out of mom’s house without notifying her brother of anything, and has them delivered to her storage unit.

This is the perfect example of how NOT to handle an estate unless you want to drain your finances for legal fees. Despite my repeated attempts to talk with her and offer her some sound advice, it fell on deaf ears. To me, it is complete disrespect for the loved one who has died, but this happens more frequently than even I care to admit. Scary, but very true.

Your Parents Need Protection!

October 18, 2010 | Julie Hall

About a year ago, I gave my blog readers the following suggestions about protecting our parents and other elderly relatives. Occasional news stories continue to sadden and disturb me, as another elderly, well-meaning person falls victim to a clever scam or scheme. Please review these suggestions, and pass this information along to others, so together we can protect our elderly family and friends.

1. Ask or discuss with your parents who has durable power of attorney.

2. Register your parents’ telephone numbers with the National Do Not Call registry (www.donotcall.gov).

3. Discuss with them the list of common frauds (see The Boomer Burden, chapter 7). Ask them to contact you if they suspect anyone is trying to defraud them.

4. Ask your parents to contact you if anyone offers to buy any of their possessions.

5. Make sure a family member personally visits your parents on a weekly basis. If this is a challenge and you have other siblings, take turns.

6. Reduce junk mail for a small fee by going to either of these web sites: www.stopthejunkmail.com and http://mailstopper.tonic.com.

The National Center for Elder Abuse is an excellent resource for information on financial and other forms of abuse against senior citizens. It publishes reports and conducts research on this growing problem. NCEA’s mission is to promote understanding, knowledge sharing, and action on elder abuse, neglect, and exploitation. Its web site also offers links to other excellent resources and organizations also devoted to protecting senior citizens. Their web site is www.ncea.aoa.gov.

Honor your parents by standing between them and anyone who sees them as an easy target.

The Death Bed Thief

January 18, 2010 | Julie Hall

Exploitation can raise its ugly head in the midst of unsuspecting situations. Such was the case with the Garvey family (not real name). Mom and Dad Garvey were about the nicest people you’d ever wish to meet. Their three adult children lived nearby; they loved to have all the grandchildren over for Sunday dinners. All of the children were successful, and the family often took vacations together. As Mom Garvey shared with me, she could not recall one moment of discord between her kids.

Dad Garvey was diagnosed with cancer at age 73, and the disease progressed rapidly. He had lived a good life, and faced his illness with grace and courage. Even as his strength waned, he loved having his family visit. But soon death was imminent and hospice was called in to assist him and his family. That’s when strange things began to happen.

One of his daughters became uncharacteristically possessive. She wanted to be at Dad’s bedside around the clock. Normally a sweet and accomodating person, she would snap at her mother over the smallest thing. She accused her siblings of not caring enough for their dad, even as she tried to prevent them from being with him during his final days.

Eventually Dad Garvey passed away, with his wife and children at his bedside. But as the funeral director’s hearse pulled up to take the body to the funeral home, the same daughter disappeared into the basement, while the others comforted one another in their grief.

It was a few days later that they discovered what the daughter had been doing. Apparently, while she was keeping vigil by her father’s bedside, she was also surveying his belongings. When he died, she quickly grabbed the things she had stashed in the final couple weeks of his life. Mysteriously, even though Dad Garvey had prepared a will, it was never found.

This is a scary story, no doubt. But imagine, for just a moment, how different this story would have gone if the parents had given serious consideration to dividing their estate prior to infirmity or death. At the very least, they should have distributed a master list of what they wanted each child or heir to have, making sure that each child received a copy. The will should have been given to the executor or another trusted professional, so it would have been available upon death.

If every child knows the plan in advance, it will be much harder for one child to take the lion’s share. Unfortunately, this scenario occurs every single day, because no one planned ahead!

The Irony of Heirlooms

January 4, 2010 | Julie Hall

You can count on Murphy’s Law when dealing with heirlooms and dividing estate contents — something almost always goes wrong! I’ve had a front seat for nearly 20 years, and seen more than my share of serious feuds, estrangements, the “entitlement mentality”, and the rapid gathering of vultures and other green-eyed creatures. Sibling rivalry, as well as tensions and emotions, are at an all-time high; the executor is generally stuck in the middle, not wanting to ruffle any feathers.

Often, certain family members will take it upon themselves to enter the estate, take what they desire, and leave everyone else in the dark and empty-handed. We’ve all heard the scary stories. One brother locks the other brother out of the house and takes everything in the middle of the night. A sister helps herself to valuable jewelry without asking, or the long lost sibling who returns after 30 years to claim a chunk of the inheritance. All of these scenarios, plus so many more, add fuel to the fire and cause decades of resentment and bitterness.

We all have a connection to this particular issue because we have either been through it, are getting ready to go through it, or are dreading the very thought of it. Unfortunately, when a family member dies, or is approaching death, those who feel entitled come calling. Suddenly, heirs and distant relatives surface that you didn’t know existed, and true colors shine through in various shades of green.

For what reason does this occur over and over again? Is it because of perceived value from generations of family stories that one particular piece has tremendous monetary value? Is it over a sentimental item, like mom’s reading glasses, a family Bible, or a wedding band? Do people want these items because they feel the loved one who died is still close by? Or is it plain old greed?

Here’s the irony: People are fighting over things they can’t take with them either. We exit this world the way we came into it, with no material possessions.

Read my solution in the next blog entry below!

Protect Your Parents from Fraud

October 26, 2009 | Julie Hall

Your parents protected you when you were young with advice and example. Look both ways before crossing the street, never speak to strangers, and a host of other suggestions were meant to protect you. Sadly, our parents reach a point where they need us to protect them!

Here are six suggestions to protect your parents from scams and schemes:

1. Ask or discuss with your parents who has durable power of attorney.

2. Register your parents’ telephone numbers with the National Do Not Call registry (www.donotcall.gov).

3. Discuss with them the list of common frauds (see The Boomer Burden, chapter 7). Ask them to contact you if they suspect anyone is trying to defraud them.

4. Ask your parents to contact you if anyone offers to buy any of their possessions.

5. Make sure a family member personally visits your parents on a weekly basis. If this is a challenge and you have other siblings, take turns.

6. Reduce junk mail for a small fee by going to either of these web sites: www.stopthejunkmail.com and http://mailstopper.tonic.com.

Honor your parents by standing between them and anyone who sees them as an easy target.

Scams and Schemes

October 19, 2009 | Julie Hall

Your parents, especially those who live alone, are vulnerable to scams and schemes for three reasons. First, seniors tend to be trusting. They also may be lonely and sometimes distant from those who can protect them. Senior parents are also vulnerable because they worry about their financial security. Finally, scammers know that many seniors have money and valuable possessions.

Even though approximately 50 percent of elderly Americans are victims of financial exploitation, only 10 to 15 percent of the abuses are reported.

The following may indicate that your parents are being victimized:

* Sudden bank account changes, especially an unexplained withdrawal of large sums of money
* Unfamiliar long-distance telephone numbers, expecially from overseas, on their monthly bill
* Significantly lower standard of living (change in eating and shopping habits; unable to afford things they once afforded)
* Selling higher-end items such as furniture, antiques, and so on
* Sudden disappearance of valuable possessions
* Increase in commercial or junk mail
* Sudden change in behavior; symptoms of depression or anxiety
* Increased worries over money

Next week, I’ll share six ways to protect your parents from fraud. If you need the information sooner, and for much more practical advice on helping your parents now, and dealing with their stuff after they are gone, please order my book, “The Boomer Burden”, available from Amazon. http://www.amazon.com/Boomer-Burden-Dealing-Lifetime-Accumulation/

How did I get into this line of work?

September 28, 2009 | Julie Hall

You may be wondering how I got into this line of work. It happened innocently enough and turned into a real eye-opener!

Receiving a phone call from someone in crisis is common at my office, but when the phone rang one afternoon, and it was a colleague claiming an emergency, I knew the matter was very urgent.

My colleague said one of his clients, who was preparing to move to a safe environment for those afflicted with Alzheimer’s, was at home alone when her neighbors — so-called friends — and a few antique dealers all decided to pay her a visit on the same afternoon. (Word spreads like wildfire any time an older adult begins downsizing an estate, and I caution you to pay close attention to this story so you can protect your loved ones!)

This elderly woman’s home was filled with many valuable possessions. Apparently several people came by to “purchase” all of her assets. My colleague had tried to get the dealers out of the house, but no one took him seriously. Knowing that I deal with this sort of thing daily, he asked me to intervene quickly, even though I had never met this woman.

These neighbors and friends and dealers were literally stripping her home of her lifelong heirlooms, possessions that were supposed to be passed down to her children after her death. Her children would never see those heirlooms again. The neighbors and friends helped themselves, throwing a $1 or $5 bill at her for items worth thousands of dollars. Sadly, they preyed upon her much like a vulture stripping a bone. In her advanced diseased state, she simply didn’t know any better. But they did!

How I wished the family would have known to expect exploitation in times of fragility! This story is one I see frequently. One day, I had had enough and decided to write a book to assist the boomer children, and the elderly parents navigate the final chapter of their lives.