accumulation of stuff

The remedy for procrastination and denial

| Julie Hall

When it comes to making arrangements for estate distributions upon one’s death, too many older adults are seized with a rather dramatic disease diagnosed as procrastination with a touch of denial.

Of course, we will all die — it’s a certainty, but many people do nothing about it while they are alive.  They think in terms of “if” I die and not “when” I die.  Denial makes them procrastinate on very important personal decisions they should be making.

Procrastination and denial have a remedy called “AWARE”.

A stands for Anguish.  When a loved one dies and leaves no instructions on what to do with his or her estate, the next of kin becomes angry and resentful of having to mentally and physically handle another person’s lifetime of accumulation.  The frustration, anger, resentment and guilt are in their voices when they call me to help them dispose of the household possessions.  So, alleviate this emotional strain by spending a small amount of time now when you are mentally and physically able to arrange your affairs yourself.

W stands for Will.  “Don’t leave life without it.”  Your Last Will and Testament is the wisest document you can possess.  Have an attorney help you, since template forms may not hold up in the statutory process for distributing assets.  Not just for those of wealth, a will is important for any well-prepared individual.  A will is needed to make sure you have designated the right beneficiary when your estate is distributed after your death.  The investment in time and money here is minimal compared to the anguish you will cause a loving family member or friend without one.

We’ll finish the remainder of “AWARE” in the next post!

© 2009 Julie Hall

Use your stuff to bless others

| Julie Hall

You don’t need me to tell you that times are economically challenging right now.  This true story of a recent estate I handled may give us all new perspectives on our accumulated stuff.

I had to clean out the home of a lady who passed away.  The family had already been given all the items they wanted from her home.  What to do with the rest of the belongings?

Often a family wants to donate the remainder of the belongings to charity and doesn’t have a preference where to donate.  When that happens, I recommend Blanket America Ministries http://www.blanketamericaministries.org/.

We cleared all the remaining items of furniture and household goods, and the ministry loaded them on their truck.  They ended up taking all this to a woman up in Appalachia who had been burned out of her house.  Everything that was unloaded from the truck was exactly what she needed.  Amazement and thankful looks were everywhere, from this woman to the ministry volunteers.

The obvious suggestion here is that when you pass away, there are places where your possessions can help someone in need.  That’s good, but what about all the possessions that we hold onto now?

We have garages that can’t hold cars, we have linen closets that we have to lean on the door to close, etc.  In a word, we have so much we don’t need!  Who could we bless now?  There are many in need who look for a professional outfit to interview for work, or a house full of furniture due to disaster, or clothes for growing children.  Maybe it’s time to seek out a ministry that helps others, and pass along some of the extra stuff we have accumulated. 

What do you think?

© 2009 Julie Hall

Is there an expert in the house?

| Julie Hall

You can only imagine what I see each day as I venture into the homes of people getting ready to disolve the estate of a loved one who has passed away.  It is an amazing view into the world of human nature — who wants what, the fights over money and things, the greedy relatives coming out of the woodwork, families not understanding the value of things, etc.

You name it and I’ve seen it!  Not much seems to surprise me in the realm of estate settlement.

Having spent 18 years in perfecting the process of estate dissolution for my clients and those wanting to learn my area of expertise, I have uncovered a vast need in the country today that virtually no one is tending to.  And soon enough, it will be near epidemic level!  No one thinks about it until it actually happens and you find yourself in the midst of a crisis.

As our beloved parents leave the earth, they also leave behind one of the largest accumulations of stuff, more than any other generation in history.  The Depression Era is known for never throwing anything away, and not always very good at letting it go either.   Their parents, our grandparents, actually owned very little by comparison.  Therefore, their accumulation was not dealt with, but absorbed by our parents’ generation.  This leaves the boomer children with not only mom and dad’s stuff, but now they have to deal with multi-generational items at the same time.

As overwhelming as it is to handle the death of a parent, it becomes absolutely grueling when the kids have to dive into the estate face-first: divide the estate, handle feuds that arise, and clean out the house in a short period of time.

Then it occurred to me that the reason so many flounder in this area, is because there has never been anyone to show them how to go through the process in a logical and timely fashion.  No worries — help has arrived!

My book, The Boomer Burden — Dealing With Your Parents’ Lifetime Accumulation of Stuff, is a must-have book on how to go through the process from beginning to end, offering trustworthy guidance every step of the way.  More on that later…

© 2009 Julie Hall