“I know you paid $2,000 for it, but …”

February 28, 2011 | Julie Hall

If I had a dollar for every time I said this to a client, I would be a wealthy woman. It is a difficult occupation being an estate expert who specializes in personal property. They call it personal for a very good reason. When people go to sell their items, everyone gets very personal about them and feels they might be worth a fortune.

As one who has handled tens of thousands of personal items in my tenure, I can assure you very few pieces actually have truly significant value. I know you paid a considerable amount for that sofa, or candelabra, or sideboard, but in today’s market, that is a thing of the past. It’s a hard pill to swallow, I know.

The truth is, when times are good, people simply pay too much for things. Now, due to economic reasons, everyone is recycling personal property, buying at estate sales and auctions, and really saving a great deal of money not buying retail. When we hear clients lamenting the fact that they paid $4000 for a sofa and today can only get $600 for it, they want to know why!

In a nutshell, the styles have changed, the times have changed, younger women don’t like what the older women like, and we have too much supply of traditional furnishings as our older loved ones leave us. The more supply that comes on the market, the lower the prices will go.

So, hold onto your hat when you go to sell your furniture or traditional items. As hard as it may be to hear, remember … don’t shoot the messenger. I’m just doing my job to prepare you!

Beware of “CASH PAID FOR” Ads

February 7, 2011 | Julie Hall

It feels like the personal property world has gone a little bonkers. We have cable shows that demonstrate how to pick and make money off others who do not know the worth of their items, leaving the client feeling taken advantage of. We have people in the industry who are purchasing from their own estates. We have people who have lost their jobs and created overnight “estate liquidation specialist” companies, even though they have little experience.

Seller, BEWARE and BE CAREFUL. Use your scruples. Research the company through the Better Business Bureau, local colleagues, and professional organizations. Make sure you are dealing with someone who is recommended and is a trained professional.

I have long written and spoken on the importance of knowing what you have before you sell it, and that applies in today’s economy more than ever, when everyone is trying to make a buck off you!

Please don’t misinterpret my words. There are many estate experts out there who are truly outstanding at what they do, and ethical too! Even those who purchase from their estates, many are very fair. But like any other occupation, there are those who are not. The good ones are getting harder to find and are worth their weight in gold.

Everywhere in local papers you see, “Cash paid for antiques, collectibles, military items, etc.” Here’s my questions to you, the seller. How do you know that buyer offering cash isn’t offering you pennies on the dollar? How do you know that item he or she is offering $400 for is worth $20,000? Are you too eager? Are they sending red flags like “I’ll take it off your hands?”

Stick to your guns until you know what you are dealing with first, but you too must be fair. If an item appraises at $500, know you will not get that amount and it is unreasonable to expect that you would. Only the exceptional items are selling well in this market.

The majority of true collectors are pretty reasonable and have a tendency to offer a fair amount for an item. But someone who is in it to turn around and make money off the item(s) will often low-ball (not always, but they will try to increase their profit margin).

It is always worth getting a professional opinion, even if it costs a little bit — consider it a small insurance policy!

Sneak Peek: Two heirs want the same heirloom

January 17, 2011 | Julie Hall

Here’s the sneak peek from my new book, How to Divide Your Family’s Estate and Heirlooms Peacefully and Sensibly, available at the right side bar of this blog.

Problem: Two of my siblings are fighting over the same heirloom. How do you split that?

Solution: When two or more are arguing over the same item(s), you have a few options, but ultimately it is up to the level of stubbornness of the people involved.

One heir simply turns the other cheek and forfeits to the other. Rememeber that all of the values need to be kept equitable. If Sue gets a $5,000 item and Barbara gets a $200 item, that is not equitable and other arrangements must be made, whether in cash assets or other items, to make up for the $4,800 deficit.
One sibling can offer to buy the item from the others and take it out of their inheritance.
They can write up an agreement and share the item, if it is small enough to share. Then again, this decision only postpones that inevitable decision for later in life. When the siblings die, now their children have to contend with the same issue.
If no one can agree and the arguing continues in a “no one is going to give in” pattern, I recommend the executor sell the item through an appropriate auction and split the proceeds by the number of siblings. Yes, the siblings will be upset, but that is more acceptable than resenting each other the remainder of their lives.
What would mom or dad want? Would they permit this kind of treatment towards one another? In most cases, the answer is no. They would be disappointed, having trusted you to make decisions that they probably should have made while they were alive, but for whatever reason, they didn’t. You can’t go back; you can only go forward. So go forward, knowing what your parents would have wanted and go forth doing what they would have wanted.

What should I keep when cleaning out Dad’s house?

November 29, 2010 | Julie Hall

Don’t sell, give away, or donate anything until a professional has looked at it. So many Boomers throw away or give away personal possessions worth a fortune, simply because they don’t know the values. Tell everyone “no” until the appraiser has reviewed everything. The cost to pay a personal property appraiser is nothing compared to what you could find, not to mention the peace of mind it will offer you!

Keep the following:

Anything that can provide family history.
Family heirlooms if they are wanted and will be cherished. Don’t force heirlooms on the children if their hearts aren’t in it.
Evaluate all items of perceived monetary value (hire that appraiser).
Some family photographs.
Items that are rare or unusual (some antiques fall into this category) IF someone has room for them and wants them. It’s ok to sell if no one wants them.
Jewelry — have it appraised first.
Items with historic significance — may donate if no family member wants them.
Important documents must be kept together until they are all sorted through by the executor.
Collections: gold, coins, guns, stamps, etc. Always have them evaluated by a professional.
Antiques, artwork, paintings, sculpture — must be evaluated by a professional.
Military items. Not only are these items sought after by collectors but may also be vital to family history.
Safes, safety deposit boxes, and their contents.
Anything you cannot identify.

Don’t take things just to take them. Select a few sentimental items that are small enough for you to use or display in your home. Great family and marital strife can develop if you take too much. Remember, the more you take now, the more your children will have to deal with later.

6 Big Mistakes People Make with Personal Property

November 8, 2010 | Julie Hall

Personal property and heirlooms — we spend a lifetime accumulating them, inheriting them, caring for them, collecting them, and talking about them. But we rarely know the values and we rarely make a plan for what happens to our personal property.

Here’s my list of the biggest mistakes. Hopefully, you don’t see yourself in this list.

1. Parents don’t share final wishes with their children. They don’t share vital documents, especially the will/trust, or at least tell the children where they are located.

Children are then left to guess the parent’s wishes, which is a very bad thing. Children live with guilt for the remainder of their lives, wondering if their “guess” was what mom and dad would have wanted. What a heavy load to carry!

2. Parents don’t make a plan for personal property. They don’t create a master list, or ask what the heirs would like to have. They definitely don’t gift any of their possessions while they are still alive.

3. Parents know that death and infirmity will certainly come, but they do nothing to anticipate or minimize fighting after they are gone.

4. Children have opposite opinions because the parents didn’t tell their wishes to the children. This starts fights and feuds that can last for the remainder of their lives.

5. Children are hasty with parents’ possessions. Heirlooms with significant value can end up in a dumpster or yard sale. They decline to hire a professional to ascertain what’s valuable before distribution and disposal.

6. Chilren have a tendency to give away, throw away, or donate before they know the worth of those items. Be leary of unscrupulous people who ask for a “memento” and go for the most valuable item, which you may or may not have valuated.

Did you see yourself in this list? If so, now is the time to take action and resolve these issues. As I’ve said before, you don’t want to become one of The Estate Lady’s sad stories!

“Mom has a friend…Maybe we’ll use her.”

October 4, 2010 | Julie Hall

Margaret called me from a Chicago suburb with a frantic tone in her voice. “We have all this stuff, and we don’t have a clue how to get rid of it! It looks like it might be junk, but there are some antiques in here too. What do we do? My mom has a friend who is sort of in the business. She’s dabbled in buying and selling for years. Maybe I should just hire her.”

Her words hit a nerve! It’s sort of like saying, “My brother got an A in dissecting, so why not let him do your brain surgery?”

I strongly urged her to hire a professional, and warned her about letting an untrained friend handle something as important as this. But she decided to go to her friend anyway, a decision that cost her dearly.

A month later, Margaret called me again, in tears. “I’ve made a horrible mistake, and I don’t know how to undo it. My mom’s friend didn’t know the true value of many of the items in the house and sold them for pennies. One local dealer contacted me to tell me the estate person charged $75 for a fine antique English Windsor chair that was worth about $800. An antique needlepoint sampler dated 1854 sold for $10, but should have sold for several hundred. I am eaten up with misery wondering how many other things got sold for next to nothing.”

Please get the right kind of help! Unscrupulous professionals come out of the woodwork at a time of crisis. Amateurs, even though they are friends or golf buddies or play bridge with you, are still amateurs! It may be costly to hire the right professional, but an amateur is much more “costly” in the end.

Three More Important Tips for Personal Property

July 5, 2010 | Julie Hall

We’re continuing our discussion of important tips for dealing with personal property in an estate. Here are the final three tips:

3. Just because it is old doesn’t mean it is valuable. This is my personal mantra. Each day, I must face clients and report the truth based on facts. Depression glass may have been the rage 12 years ago, but today the market is pretty flat, much like the beloved Hummel figurines of mother’s day. It’s important to understand the distinction between monetary and sentimental value. If great-grandfather made it in 1865, it is certainly old and very special to us. This, however, does not indicate or equate to significant monetary value. It does hold value in the heart, though.

4. PLEASE hire a professional before you have a yard sale on your own. In my career, I have seen things thrown in the trash, dumpsters, yard sales, etc. that children put there or sold for next to nothing. In actuality, they were worth a small fortune! Knowledge really is power. Parents, consider getting your heirlooms evaluated prior to your passing, so you can leave this information for your heirs. Children, ask questions about the history of these heirlooms while mom and dad can still tell you. Discuss together the possibility of gifting prior to death. At the very least, mom and dad should document who gets what.

5. When using professionals in the industry, check them out first. Make sure they have no unresolved complaints against them with the Better Business Bureau. Ask them for professional references, and ask how long they have been doing this work. Ask your friends, neighbors, and other professionals if they can recommend estate professional appraisers and liquidators. Be very leary of those who “dabble” in estate sales or yard sales; you need a pro. If you think hiring a professional is expensive, you should try hiring an amateur.

Important Tips When Dealing with Personal Property from an Estate

June 28, 2010 | Julie Hall

When a loved one becomes infirm or passes away, the handling of the estate and contents lands on the lap of the heir(s). If the heir is prepared, it will go much easier than if they operate in a crisis mode. All too often, I see children who don’t know anything about the estate and contents. It’s like they are literally walking into a dark house and starting from scratch with no guidance.

Here are some important tips to consider if you are currently dealing with an estate, or soon to be handling one.

1. Don’t do ANYTHING until you know what it is and what it’s worth. Do not give items to neighbors, friends, family, or charity until everything has been looked at by a professional appraiser, or you have been advised what the best method(s) is/are to proceed with dissolution of the estate. It is well worth the cost to get this information. It will even assist with equitable distribution, thereby keeping things as neutral as possible between the siblings.

2. What is it worth? What someone is willing to pay you for it. It is not worth the dollar amount you see on the internet – that is only an asking price and usually quite inflated at that. It is not worth what grandma told you back in the 70’s, and the stories that were told by previous generations can be a bit stretched through the years. As with anything else in life, the value is contingent upon many factors, one of which is supply and demand.

Since so many china sets have saturated the market, and will continue to do so, what do you think will happen to the price? If the younger women want Pottery Barn and IKEA, and not grandma’s china, what will happen to these sets? The prices will continue to plummet. Always check with a professional appraiser first.

That’s enough to digest this week, but I have three more important tips for you next week!

My Sibling is the Problem

May 10, 2010 | Julie Hall

This week, I’m answering another great question from a reader.

Q: I am the executor of my mother’s estate. There are 4 children and one of them is being problematic, even accusing me of things I haven’t done and have no intention of doing. Is there something I can do to help this situation, because she is not speaking with me and causing everyone great distress? She wants everything in Mom’s house that is valuable and is not willing to share. Mom specified everything be split 4 ways equally. Any help would be appreciated!

A: In my profession, I see this more often than I would like to admit. Sometimes the glue of the family begins to disintegrate once both parents pass away. If one sibling is being difficult, he or she is really calling out for some type of assistance, and it requires great patience and grace to get to the root of the problem. In some cases, the difficulty can lie in a form of guilt or resentment that this sibling is feeling. Perhaps they never got the chance to make something right with the loved one before their passing, or felt cheated during their life by the one who just died. Envy can also play an important role in the behavior of siblings during this difficult time.

Here’s what to do to help this situation. Write each sibling a letter as the executor. Share with them the feelings and fears you have about this situation. Be honest and direct and encourage a family meeting. Offer each sibling the opportunity to speak, one at a time. Ask the problematic sibling to tell you what they desire and why. What would make them feel better? Really listen to each other.

Have an appraiser evaluate the contents of the home before anything is removed. Keep a spreadsheet for each sibling and what they would like to have. Make certain each takes approximately the same financial amount, based on the appraisal. If one has considerably less assets, make up for it with cash assets, if all siblings agree. Select items in mom’s house in order of birth and then reverse the order to make it fair, or draw names out of a hat.

Being an executor is probably the most difficult task you might ever experience. It will test the core of your being! Lead with your heart, keep compassion on the forefront of your mind to remain fair and objective, and most of all, honor your mother’s memory by being respectful of her and her lifelong possessions. This is about your mother’s wishes, not your sibling’s!

A Word About Blended Families

May 3, 2010 | Julie Hall

Today, I’m answering a question from a reader.

Q: We have a blended family with grown children that are my husband’s, mine, and ours together. We are long retired, the children are grown, and we know it is time to make some serious decisions about our estate and division of heirlooms. For years, two of our children have been bickering over one piece in particular. Naturally we want to be fair, but I think our biggest concern is if one of the children gets an heirloom that doesn’t really belong to them because they are not from that side of the family. How can we handle this delicately?

A: About 40% of my clients have challenges with their blended family and personal property distribution. Here are a few basic guidelines; stick with these.

Though children grow into adults, they still need our guidance. At this stage, it is vital that you provide your children with precise directions for the time of your death. Offer your children your last wishes, documents regarding heirlooms, Last Will and Testament, Living Will, Health Care Power of Attorney, etc. An attorney can help you prepare these documents, which are absolutely necessary.

As for heirlooms, engage in a frank discussion with your husband first. Pull out a notepad and write down all of your decisions regarding all of your children and what you think each one should have. Remember, if you do this for one child, you must do it for all of them. It might be wise to enlist the help of an appraiser/personal property expert to help you ascertain the values of these possessions to keep the distribution financially equivalent for each child.

Keep a spreadsheet naming each child, then list the heirlooms that belong to each “bloodline”. Next, call a family meeting with you, your husband, and your children only — No spouses of the children should be present. It is best to do this in person, otherwise, make individual phone calls. Share with your children your wishes and that you have documented who gets what and their current monetary values.

Make sure each child gets a copy of this document and make it very clear that there will be no feuding because these are your wishes and decisions.

Many clients leave it at that, which I do not recommend. My suggestion is to arrange the transfer of that heirloom to the children while you are alive. This way, fewer “mistakes” can happen after your death, and you will know everyone got everything you wanted them to have. Peace of mind is a beautiful thing!