life treasures

Finding the Good in the Bad

| Julie Hall

It’s never an easy thing, searching for the positive when “you know what” is hitting the fan.  Lately, a lot of it is hitting the fan for everyone I know.  If it isn’t one thing, we get slapped down by another.  So the thought occurred to me, “Is this my karma, or someone else’s that’s been thrust on me for the sake of experience?”  I’m a great person!  Why is everything going wrong?

Maybe I am just along for the ride, and the purpose is for me to learn from these experiences and share them.  But it sure feels like the world has gone mad … a captain who abandons his cruise ship and passengers, a scary time economically, political and government issues that never seem to get resolved … an uncertain future.

So, how can we find the good in the bad?

I think acceptance of some of the bad is part of it.  Poop happens.  It’s how we handle it that separates the good people from the not-so-good people.  I also think having as good an outlook as possible is another big part of it.  Every generation has seen historic events that are less than stellar, whether a world war, the great depression, disease, famine, etc.

Another thought is spreading your inner light to those who have it rougher than you, and there are plenty of people who have it rougher.  If your light is bright, there is no better time than now to let it radiate to those around you.

As mom always said, “Julie, you need to take the negative and find a way to turn it around into a positive.” 

Recently, I found myself in a situation where I really wanted to verbally blast someone who I felt was incompetent.  I was so irate; I wanted to yell at them and give them a piece of my mind!  But instead, something came out of my mouth that shocked even me.  I simply looked at the person and said, “I don’t want to add to the problem or be a part of the problem.  I want to be part of the solution.”  When that left my mouth, I was suddenly empowered by my own words.

It must have been a higher power that planted those words in my mouth, because they saved me much aggravation and actually helped solve the problem.  I recommend trying it sometime!

© 2012 Julie Hall

We Found This Unforgettable Letter in an Estate

| Julie Hall

“Please Take Care of This for Me” – borrowed from Robert N. Test, author

“The day will come when my body will lie determined by doctors to be without life.  When that happens, do not attempt to instill artificial life into my body by the use of a machine.  And don’t call it my deathbed.  Call it my Bed of Life, and let my body be taken from it to help others lead fuller lives.

Give my sight to the man who has never seen a sunrise, a baby’s face, or the love in the eyes of a significant other.  Give my heart to the person whose own heart has caused nothing but endless days of pain.  Give my blood to a teenager who was pulled from the wreckage of a car, so he might live to see his grandchildren play.  Give my kidneys to one who depends on a machine to exist.  Take my bones, every nerve and muscle to find a way to make a crippled child walk.

Explore every corner of my brain.  Take my cells if necessary, and make them grow so one day a speechless boy will shout at the crack of a bat and a deaf girl will hear the sound of rain against her window.

Burn what is left and scatter my ashes to the winds to help the flowers grow.

If you must bury something, let it be my faults, my weaknesses, and all prejudice against my fellow man.

Give my sins to the devil; give my soul to God.

If, by chance, you wish to remember me, do it with a kind deed or word to someone who needs it.  If you do all that I have asked, I will live forever.”

© 2012 Julie Hall

Permission to Let Go

| Julie Hall

The last two weeks were spent cleaning out Mom and Dad’s home.  Mom passed in October and Dad is moving closer to me here in Charlotte this week.  For 20 years, I have served others in doing this very task.  What a bittersweet experience and very cleansing for me.  Plenty of tears but even more smiles, which is the way Mom would have wanted it.  So many memories came flooding in!

In cleaning out Mom’s closets, I was reminded of a conversation she and I had a few months ago.  Wearing her robe, she escorted me to her closet one morning and pointed out 4 large Xerox boxes full of family photos from long ago.  There, stacked neatly on the top shelf, these boxes took up quite a bit of space she couldn’t even reach.

Mom sighed and said, “Julie, when I die, I want you to take these boxes and throw them out or do whatever you want with them.  They are photos of people you do not know; I don’t even know them all.  So I am relieving you of the guilt my mother put on me. Get rid of them.”  It was an Ah-Ha moment.

Standing before the closet without Mom by my side and feeling the pain of that solitude, that memory came shining through.  I suddenly felt much lighter emotionally and physically, knowing I had her permission to do what I felt necessary. 

Letting go.  What a beautiful gift to give our children.  We can’t hold onto everything, and releasing our loved ones from the guilt that binds us, offers peace we wouldn’t have otherwise.  Thank you, Mom!

© 2011 Julie Hall

What I’ve Learned as an Expert in “Things” (part 2)

| Julie Hall

I probably don’t have to tell you this, since Wal-Mart and almost every other store are playing holiday music already:  The holidays are coming soon!!

As I write this blog on what I’ve learned as an expert on “things,” I realize that these last two thoughts, promised to you last week, will revolutionize how you view this year’s holidays.  They’ll probably also save you money and frustration when holiday shopping time comes.  Please consider the following observations from this expert in “things:”

3.  It’s what you do with what you have that really counts, not what you possess.  In these tough economic times, it’s important to remember there are others dealing with greater difficulties than you.  Even while we tighten our purse strings, we can still give in many ways that others would be so grateful for.

  • Give of yourself.
  • Go visit someone you have been meaning to see for a long time.
  • Write that letter.
  • Bake those cookies.
  • Volunteer for those needing help.
  • Visit those confined to home by infirmity or sickness.
  • Surprise a loved one.
  • Make that phone call to make amends with one you haven’t spoken to for years.
  • Bring your children to an assisted living or nursing home; watch the residents light up.
  • Say what you need to say, and do so right now.
  • Ask for forgiveness and offer it, no matter what.
  • Offer hugs to those who really need it.
  • Listen to your elders because you will learn so much.

4.  If you have a senior in your life … Spend a full day with them and ask them to share stories of your family history — fun stories, challenges, family secrets, marriages.  Look through old photos.  Record this day and make a book for them (and copies for each sibling) so it may be passed down for years to come.  Many children regret not having more family history, but they realize this only after a loved one has left us.

© 2011 Julie Hall

What I’ve Learned as an Expert in “Things”

| Julie Hall

As an expert in personal property, my days are filled with visiting estates, consulting with my clients, and ascertaining what has value versus what does not.  I help boomer children make sound decisions after mom and dad have passed on, and work closely with seniors, helping them make a plan for their heirlooms and understanding their worth. 

My world revolves around many beautiful things, what they may be worth, and then sadly watch people fight over them after a loved one dies.  Having met thousands of individuals in my career, I can safely say I have learned from each and every one of them.  Here’s what I have learned:

1.  We exit this world the way we enter it — owning nothing but a beautiful spirit that houses love and memories earned over a lifetime.  You can’t take anything with you, so why fight over “things?”

2.  “Things do bring instant gratification, but not long-lasting happiness.  So we keep buying more things to keep feeling good.  Too many of us fill our lives with “things” to ease unresolved pain and issues.  As we continue to go into debt and buy ourselves the latest electronic gadget, we are still left unfulfilled and discontented.  We buy to feel good, we buy because we deserve it, we buy because we are depressed.  But in the long run, it ends up in the hands of family, or a professional such as myself, to sell it.

Next week, I’ll share two more valuable lessons I’ve learned as an expert in “things.”  I hope these lessons today, and the two next week, will alter your plans to gain more and give more “things” during the upcoming holiday season.   Please come back for the other two positive lessons!

© 2011 Julie Hall

His Outgoing Message Said …

| Julie Hall

“Hi.  I hope you are going to have a great day.  Sometimes, you’ve just got to go out there, do your best, and grab what you can.  Make the most of your day and make it a great one.”

You may recall last week I wrote about a lovely man who is dying and his energy and attitude were incredible.  He lifted me up with his words and charisma.  Yesterday I called him to reconfirm an appointment to come and look at items he wanted to sell in order to donate the proceeds.  His outgoing message was quoted above.

I thought to myself with so much going wrong these days, here is this one gentleman who probably doesn’t have much time left, and yet he is making a very strong impact on those around him.  Touching them in an incredibly selfless manner.  We don’t see that often, do we?  Not in this me-me-me world.

It is difficult for us to reach deep down and pull up all the good that is within us, especially in the midst of the many challenges we face today.  But if this one man can project beauty and goodness in his darkest days, we can too.

So I will add only one thing to his outgoing message:  Smile a lot today, especially to those you don’t know.  You never know what challenges they are facing.

Your Reality Check for the Day

| Julie Hall

My clients have taught me that in the end, the worth of an item is measured only by the joy it brings at a particular point in time.  Many of us claim to cherish our possessions, only to discover that with the passage of time, they don’t mean as much anymore, or they have become a burden to us in some way.

Perhaps our tastes have changed.  Our home is too cluttered, or the sheer volume of what we own has caused marital strife.  Maybe you feel guilty because mom passed away and you feel the need to take a lot of what she owned.

Today, more and more people are selling their stuff to downsize, make extra money, empty an estate, or to simplify their lives and not have their stuff own them.  I’ve seen each scenario described, and I have witnessed what appear to be love affairs between people and their things.

A recent client told me he was terminally ill and he had many collectibles and oddities he had collected over the years.  He wanted me to come over, sell what I could, and send the proceeds to benefit a wonderful organization.  What a beautiful thought, but it’s what he said that made me really think:  “Mrs. Hall, it’s time for someone else to enjoy these items which brought me so much pleasure.  I am blessed beyond measure.  These are just things that I had fun fixing up and looking at.  But it is a humbling thought knowing someone won’t make it through the night, and it’s time to move forward.  My job right now is not to worry about this stuff … it’s to live as long as I can!”

Suddenly, everything shifted as his words sunk in.  I always thought I was unique to my industry – that while I was an expert in personal property, I never truly had love for these things, just appreciation.  Clients like him have taught me what’s really important in life.

© 2011, The Estate Lady

Live So You Make a Difference in Others’ Lives

| Julie Hall

Cleaning out estates never gets dull — I just never know what I will uncover next or what heartwarming lesson I will learn.  Sometimes I am covered head to toe in grime and sweat, and other days it’s a tiptoe through a pristine mansion.  But no matter what our residence may look like, at the heart of the home lies the very essence of who we are.  Our possessions reveal a great deal about us as individuals.

Today, we completed the clean-out of an elderly nurse who served her entire life.  She didn’t just serve in the hospital; she served her community by becoming “Miss Sue” in the neighborhood.  She had been in the same home 60+ years.  No matter what the community needed, she was there.  Someone needed first aid in a hurry; people took them to Miss Sue.  A young girl found herself in trouble; you go to Miss Sue.  As six decades passed, Miss Sue saw her neighborhood change.  There were juvenile delinquents, drugs in the area, other crime, etc., but everyone still went to Miss Sue for whatever they needed, and she was always happy to help.

As the last little bit of furniture was removed from Miss Sue’s home today, we were approached by numerous neighbors from all walks of life.  They surely loved Miss Sue and missed her terribly.  As I drove away, sweaty and tired from the hard day’s work, I thought to myself what a wonderful life Miss Sue lived.  She served so many during her lifetime and really made a difference!

© 2011, The Estate Lady

Mementos of Killed Marine Sold By Mistake

| Julie Hall

This was the headline in our local paper a few days ago.  The young widow accidentally sold a suitcase at a yard sale that contained photos and special items that were of her late Marine husband with their children.  I thought to myself, “Oh no … those photos are irreplaceable and probably gone forever.”

The article was a monumental effort across the country to appeal to anyone who might find it, as the buyers at the yard sale told the widow they would probably sell the suitcase at a flea market.  To my knowledge, it has not yet been found.

A couple of things come to mind:

  1. We feel for this woman and all she has gone/is going through, and it was most likely a simple oversight that she forgot to open the suitcase prior to selling.  As a professional, I  can honestly say it’s vital to leave no stone unturned.  Whether you are sorting through a loved one’s belongings, or you hire a professional, everything must be gone through with a fine tooth comb.  You never know what you’re going to find.
  2. Professionals in my industry already know to sift through everything, but family might be experiencing emotions too strong to deal with it at the moment, feel as if they are in a fog for a while, or can’t quite get themselves to sort through the items in the depth they should — through no fault of their own.  We understand grief and have compassion for our clients.  Sometimes, an objective professional party can help the family through that, and ensure that everything has truly been sorted and gone through, so accidents like this don’t occur.

My heart goes out to this widow and her children, and I sincerely hope that whoever buys the suitcase with the precious photos of the fallen Marine and his children will find a way to get them back to their rightful owner.

© 2011, The Estate Lady

It’s Better to Be Safe Than Sorry

| Julie Hall

You know you are in trouble when an expert shakes his head and says, “With the way the economy is going ….”  I share this because I sat with an expert just yesterday and he offered me sound advice which I want to share with you.

He’s not just a highly successful jeweler.  He’s been in the business 60+ years and knows a great deal about his industry.  I also knew immediately upon meeting him that this older gentleman had extensive knowledge about the market, where it’s headed, and what we can expect in the future.  Many clients ask me on a daily basis what my thoughts are on the market, so today I offer a little on precious metals and gems.

My mom had given me some scrap gold to sell and I have several items I no longer wanted, but some of the pieces are very nice.  So I went to him for a little advice: Should I sell now, or hold onto it for “a while?”

His eyes and demeanor were like that of a wise old sage, and he said the following:

1.  Don’t sell these items now if you don’t need the money.  One day, these items will probably be worth more than cash.  With the way the economy is going ….

2.  In his opinion, gold may very well hit $5000 per ounce in our lifetime, but not in the immediate future.

3.  If the US dollar lost its power, you would still have items to barter with.  At least you would have it, and it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Now, I know this isn’t rocket science and we’ve heard this before.  But the warmth and wisdom in which he delivered this information forced me to take heed and really listen.  So for now, those items are tucked back in the safe where they belong, taunting me with the question, “Will I ever need to pull it out in the future, if things got really bad?”  Well, at least it’s there if I need it.

© 2011, The Estate Lady