What is Value?

July 11, 2011 | Julie Hall

Let’s start by addressing what it is not. Value is not a price you see on the internet or in a store. That is only a numerical figure someone conjured up, very often based on their personal sentiment towards the item, or a price they once saw in a book. The economy pretty much tossed that out the window. It’s not the story the family handed down for generations that a particular piece is “very valuable.” Maybe it is, but most likely, it’s not. Sure it’s old, but that alone doesn’t guarantee value. It may just be old.

Value is a very personal thing. People want to believe what they have (or what grandma has) is valuable. Price is determined by supply and demand, as well as the collector market. As I have often said, there must be a demand for what you have. You might have an antique china set from grandma — so does everyone else. The supply is bountiful, but the demand simply isn’t there and this means the price is not going to meet your expectations, regardless of what they paid for it. Those days are long gone.

If you have something rare (and most people think they do), you will need a professional personal property appraiser to confirm that, and also recommend where it should be sold. For the record, “rare” means extraordinary, like a flawless diamond, and most of us do not have that. What we have, and what we inherited, is a lot of stuff that is good and useable, but not necessarily valuable.

When in doubt, bring in someone like myself so that you can move forward and make good, solid decisions for your personal property. Set your expectations accordingly so you will not be disappointed, and may, in fact, be pleasantly surprised.

A Slice of Birthday Cake with Roses on Top

May 9, 2011 | Julie Hall

Remember when we were little kids and our eyes were bigger than our stomachs, when we saw the thick, sugary icing and special colored roses on our birthday cake? Everyone fought over those colorful, sugary roses that contained enough fuel to shoot us to the moon and back, or at least until midnight when the sugar buzz finally wore off. We were probably 5 or 6 years old, but already we had learned a lesson that would follow us throughout our lives.

The voice in our heads beckoned us to eat as much as possible including all of those coveted roses — after all, it’s my cake, my birthday. Why shouldn’t I have it all to myself? Mother’s quiet, yet serious tone forced me to share, and share equally among the other children at the party. “You have to be fair to everyone,” she would say. It isn’t fair, I thought to myself. That’s my cake! I should have all of the slices of cake with the roses on them. (The roses were, and still are, my favorite.)

So it is with much of life. We all want the “roses” in life and that includes our loved one’s estates. You’ve had your eye on that grandfather clock, or mom’s diamond ring, or dad’s fishing lure collection for years. And you believe you are entitled to them, or perhaps they were promised to you long ago, so you just assume they will be yours one day. Then that “one day” comes, and your sibling claims the same thing … the trouble begins.

Until they are gifted to you in person prior to infirmity or death, or until there is a written plan for those heirlooms upon a loved one’s passing, you are entitled to nothing unless it is given to you. Even if you don’t end up with your beloved “rose,” we must remember that while we would like to have the majority of the cake, it is good and appropriate to share equally.

You taught me well, Mom!

One Chip Can Ruin Everything

May 2, 2011 | Julie Hall

In my world of personal property, one little chip on a porcelain piece can mean the difference between going into the trash and selling it for far less than it should have sold, had it been perfect. As an appraiser of fine items, I know that original condition is just one very important characteristic when assigning value.

My entire career has centered around selling items that are in good, original condition — not stripped of original finish, not repaired, not refurbished — just plain, old original condition. It is also that same original condition that attracts the collector toward the mellowness of color that only the passage of time can create on a beautiful antique wood piece — imperfections and all.

Those imperfections “prove” to that collector’s discriminating eye it’s true age, and the history and personality of the piece. Worn leather, distress marks, scars from accidents, etc. are all part of the life our antique possessions have led before they came to us.

The collector knows some of these marks are positive attributes, but the average person is in search of perfection — perfection of body, perfection of mind, perfection for each facet of their lives.

It suddenly occurred to me that we should look at ourselves and each other in the very same manner as that special collector. We are aging, we have earned our stripes, we have gained insight and wisdom through the passage of years. Yet we too have many imperfections: a chip here, a chip there, a few fracture lines. We should strive to do our best to live with our original condition for as long as possible.

While one chip can greatly diminish the value of an antique platter, our own self-worth only grows deeper with our well-earned battle scars from a life well lived.

Intangible Gifts Bring Joy this Holiday Season

December 20, 2010 | Julie Hall

Time’s running out for Christmas shopping, your debt is growning, and you still don’t know what to buy for certain people on your list. What to do?

Why buy anything? Why not give the best gift in the world — yourself?

Go visit someone you have been meaning to see for a long time. Surprise a loved one you haven’t seen for years.
Write that letter, bake those cookies.
Volunteer for those needing your help or visit shut-ins.
Make that phone call to make amends, because you and your mother haven’t spoken in years.
Bring your children to an assisted living or nursing home, and watch the residents light up. Have your children draw pictures and then visit and sing for those in shelters or facilities.
Say what you need to say, and do so right now.
Ask for forgiveness and always offer it, no matter what.
Offer hugs to those who really need it.
Make gifts for everyone on your list.
Listen to your elders because you will learn so much.

Do you have a senior on your list, and you don’t know what to give them?

Spend a full day with them and ask them to share stories of your family history — fun stories, challenges, family secrets, marriages, customs — and look through old photos. Record this day and create a book for them (with copies for your family members), so it may be passed down for years to come. Many children regret not having more family history, but realize this only after the loved one has died.
Find a special photograph and frame it. Ask an elder for a secret family recipe, so it can be carried on; then make it for them.

When we think of the upcoming holidays, we also need to be counting the multitude of blessings we do have, rather than wishing for the ones we don’t have. Make it a special holiday for others, and it will come back to you, in the form of contentment and joy — both in giving and in receiving.

Being Thankful in These Challenging Times

November 22, 2010 | Julie Hall

With Thanksgiving near, long-ago recollections have flooded my mind: all my loved ones hovering around the kitchen picking on food morsels, family by the TV watching football, constant chatter at the dinner table, endless giggles and mischief we children always got into, and the fabulous feasts my mother and aunts prepared on this special day.

In my mind, they all look so young and vibrant, so energetic and full of life, though most of them are gone now or not in the best of health. This is how I remember them over 35 years ago. My mind has chosen to freeze these images, forever preserved in my head and held dear to my heart.

The grandchildren in these scenes have all grown up and we have children of our own. In the blink of an eye, we will be grandparents, and as my brother calls it, “The Cycle of Life” continues. Time really stops for no man. As we age, we see changes not only in ourselves and loved ones, but in our private lives, our communities, our government. Many of these changes have millions of people in distress, worried about everything under the sun. There doesn’t seem to be much peace of mind these days anywhere, any place, or with anyone.

Our worries begin with healthcare and are constantly pre-occupied with financial matters. How will we ever be able to retire? There is not enough money for our children to go to college, no job for those children once they get out of college. We see our elderly go back into the work force not because they want to, but because they have to. The problems are endless and it seems that it will take decades to pull ourselves out of this mess.

In the midst of all this turmoil, I feel we have forgotten the basics, simply because our minds are obsessed with other thoughts. We have forgotten to be thankful, to show appreciation for what we have, and for each other! As corny as that sounds, I believe that appreciation is sadly almost a thing of the past.

Our hurried lives have most people with their thumbs and noses glued to their iPhone or Blackberry. We forget to engage in human activity, like talking to our kids, our elders, and sharing our lives with one another. If you have a family, a job, some money, and your health, you are very blessed indeed.

My phone rings daily with people who want to sell their possessions and heirlooms because they are out of money, have no jobs, no income, and are about to lose their homes. It is a constant and humbling reminder of how fortunate I am!

If you are one of the lucky ones, give thanks for what you have and help out the less fortunate. Open your hearts this holiday season. You’ll be amazed at how much it will mean to those around you — even those you don’t know. That’s how to be thankful in these challenging times!

Places to Find Hidden Treasure

September 20, 2010 | Julie Hall

Many older people have a long-term distrust of banks and often hide their valuables in the strangest places. If your parents are European immigrants, they have an even greater tendency to do this, and if either parent has dementia or Alzheimer’s, they likely have hidden things and forgot about them.

Many seniors hide money and valuables that often go unnoticed in the liquidation of their estates. Here are the most common places where these valuables may exist:

Clothing and shoes — especially breast pockets in a man’s suit coat, under an insert in the sole of a shoe, wrapped in socks or underwear, bra cups.
Drapery hems — a favorite hiding place for small jewelry or coins
Canister sets — rare coins or jewelry in the flour or sugar canister and sometimes in cookie tins
Books — paper money slid between the pages of a book
Ice cube trays — a favorite place for small jewelry or gemstones
Toilet tank — another place for jewelry
Duct tape — money or jewelry wrapped tightly in a wadded ball
Picture frames — between the picture and the mat or backing material
Attic rafters — favorite place for coins, jewelry, and antiques

You’ll need to use some detective skills to be sure that when you liquidate their home and estate, you don’t leave anything valuable behind.

The BEST Way to Preserve Your Family History

August 30, 2010 | Julie Hall

Last week, I gave you 5 suggestions for preserving family photographs. Family history doesn’t have to be just about photos. It can be your father’s war items that you have displayed in a shadow box, like I saw recently at a friend’s house. Her father’s Army photo, with his dog tags, and several other mementos looked terrific on the wall, instead of thrown in a box that won’t be seen or admired much.

Perhaps Grandma never finished the quilt she was working on, and all you have are square remnants. Why not take these to a professional and have the remnants made into pillows for your siblings? I have even seen these framed.

Of course, I still feel the BEST WAY TO PRESERVE YOUR FAMILY HISTORY is to give your elders the most spectacular gift of all: yourself and some time. Spend a Sunday every few weeks and make it a point to record or videotape them (with their permission, of course). Or, just write down everything they say: the funny stories, the family tragedies, etc. Accumulate this precious information and create your own family memory/history book, based on first hand information.

Remember, one of the biggest regrets I see is when a loved one dies and it’s too late to ask questions. Find your own unique way to preserve your family history. Take a little time with a loved one, make their day, and learn about where you came from.

Keep Their Memory Alive

April 26, 2010 | Julie Hall

The journey from your parents’ first signs of decline to the day their house is finally emptied may be long and difficult, filled with more stress and sorrow than you deserve. Now that the casseroles are finished, the cards are read, and the relatives have returned home, what can you do to keep their memory alive?

Here are several ways you and your family can honor your parents and enjoy them forever.

Plant a tree in their memory. One family planted a silver maple tree – mom’s favorite – at the assisted living center where she lived. It’s just a few blocks from her grave and remains a living memory of her.
Distribute cuttings from a favorite plant.
Share favorite recipes. Create a small recipe book of mom and dad’s favorite recipes and distribute to the relatives.
Keep the fishing trip alive. Harold took his two sons on a fishing trip to remote Ontario every spring. The spring after his death, those sons planned a fishing trip with their own sons and daughters. It’s now an annual tradition.
Create a memory book. Remember all those boxes of photos you found when you cleared your parents’ home? Scan them on to a computer and create a memory book to share with the family. Or, take those old home movies and transfer them to DVDs and distribute to the family.
Give a lifelong gift. Many families contribute to charities and causes in memory of their parents. You don’t have to be extremely wealthy and have a building named after you to make a difference. One family pays for an annual scholarship that allows one underprivileged child to go to YMCA camp every summer — in the name of their parents. Another family pays for the Vacation Bible School supplies at their church each year, since mom always loved to teach children.
Make a family DVD. Local video companies can document family members sharing their memories of parents.
Recreate your parents’ presence. This looks different for every family. Did Dad always smell of Old Spice aftershave lotion? Was there always Glenn Miller music playing at mom’s house when the family arrived? Create tangible reminders that can brighten a sad day or a family celebration for years to come.

Letting go of your possessions is harder than you think

February 8, 2010 | Julie Hall

In the last post, I included a list of some reasons why people have a hard time letting go of their stuff. I want to continue the conversation with a couple of important suggestions from my experience as an appraiser of residential contents and estate liquidator.

First, if you are clearing out many possessions, enlist the assistance of a personal property appraiser. When in doubt, always have the contents of an estate/home appraised prior to distributing or selling contents. Most times, the heirs are not surprised to learn that much of what mom and dad amassed doesn’t have much value. There are some children who feel that “everything is junk” and then discover through an appraisal that some pieces have significant value. Family stories through the years can also add to the anticipation of great-grandfather’s chair being more valuable because it is so old. Remember, age is not the only determining factor of true value.

Another important issue that the older generation should realize is that many of the heirs generally won’t take much. Their children allready have houses that are full from being married 20 years or so, and adding more will only fuel marital strife. The younger generations appear to want nothing but cash assets. Even if your children do take items, their children definitely don’t want them now and most likely will feel the same in the future. They are not interested in antiques or traditional possessions, when they could take the cash they receive and go to IKEA or Pottery Barn.

Holding onto possessions for the sake of not wanting to let them go will leave a massive burden for the children/heirs. Gifting now and making plans for the distribution of your possessions while you are still here (and in control of those decisions) is the best plan of action!

‘Til Death Do Us Part

February 1, 2010 | Julie Hall

Most of us enjoy hearing those words during a wedding ceremony where the new couple is floating in bliss and envision being by each other’s side until death separates them. From my perspective, however, I see people who have a very passionate reliationship with their material possessions; sometimes more so than with each other! If I didn’t know any better, I would say they feel confident that they can take their possessions with them when they leave this earth.

With almost two decades in the estate industry helping people make decisions about the dissolution of personal property, I have seen it all. And in all those years, I have tried to figure out why people have such a hard time letting go.

It is important to note that often the Depression Era generation is the one that accumulated the most. Their parents did not have much and probably possessed more utilitarian items because of the time period. When their parents passed away, they did not distribute or sell those items — they absorbed them, which means the Boomers have much more to deal with when their Depression era parents pass away.

Here are a few thoughts on why people hold on to so much:

You just never know when I’m going to need this.
There are so many things I could use this for.
If I only hold onto it long enough, it will become valuable.
It is already old, so it must be valuable.
I did without this as a child, and I will not do without again.
It was a gift and I will honor the giver by keeping it.
The more I leave for the kids, the more they will have.
I worked very hard for these things, and I will pass them down.
They bring comfort and familiarity.
Sentimental reasons
Too overwhelmed to let it go — emotional attachment
“I’ll let my kids deal with this after I’m gone.”

What do you think? I’d love to hear your reasons for keeping things; click “leave a comment” below this blog. We’ll talk more about the problem and the solutions in the next couple of weeks. Please come back!

The Estate Lady

life treasures