Tonight: “Top 10 Tips for Dealing with Your Parents’ Personal Property”

November 15, 2010 | Julie Hall

Join me tonight at 7 pm! I’ll be discussing the top 10 ways you can help your parents before a mental or physical crisis occurs.

With the holidays coming close, this is a perfect time to discuss important issues with your family, especially your parents. More important than deciding which side dishes to serve for Thanksgiving, this is information that will be most valuable to your family!

Join me for this FREE teleseminar on Tuesday, Nov 16 from 7-8 pm. I’m joining Anne Holmes of the National Association of Baby Boomer Women. Julie Hall Teleseminar link I’ll be taking questions too, so please call in and ask me your question.

After the seminar has concluded, I’ll post my top 10 list right here for you to download and share.

Teleseminar “Top 10 List for Dealing with Your Parents’ Personal Property”

November 12, 2010 | Julie Hall

This Tuesday night at 7 pm, I’ll be discussing the important “conversation” that Boomers need to have with their parents. With the holidays coming close, this is a perfect time to discuss important issues with our family, especially our parents. Join me for this free teleseminar on Tuesday, Nov 16 at 7 pm. I’m joining Anne Holmes of the National Association of Baby Boomer Women. Julie Hall Teleseminar link

After the seminar has concluded, I’ll post my top 10 list right here, for you to download and share.

6 Big Mistakes People Make with Personal Property

November 8, 2010 | Julie Hall

Personal property and heirlooms — we spend a lifetime accumulating them, inheriting them, caring for them, collecting them, and talking about them. But we rarely know the values and we rarely make a plan for what happens to our personal property.

Here’s my list of the biggest mistakes. Hopefully, you don’t see yourself in this list.

1. Parents don’t share final wishes with their children. They don’t share vital documents, especially the will/trust, or at least tell the children where they are located.

Children are then left to guess the parent’s wishes, which is a very bad thing. Children live with guilt for the remainder of their lives, wondering if their “guess” was what mom and dad would have wanted. What a heavy load to carry!

2. Parents don’t make a plan for personal property. They don’t create a master list, or ask what the heirs would like to have. They definitely don’t gift any of their possessions while they are still alive.

3. Parents know that death and infirmity will certainly come, but they do nothing to anticipate or minimize fighting after they are gone.

4. Children have opposite opinions because the parents didn’t tell their wishes to the children. This starts fights and feuds that can last for the remainder of their lives.

5. Children are hasty with parents’ possessions. Heirlooms with significant value can end up in a dumpster or yard sale. They decline to hire a professional to ascertain what’s valuable before distribution and disposal.

6. Chilren have a tendency to give away, throw away, or donate before they know the worth of those items. Be leary of unscrupulous people who ask for a “memento” and go for the most valuable item, which you may or may not have valuated.

Did you see yourself in this list? If so, now is the time to take action and resolve these issues. As I’ve said before, you don’t want to become one of The Estate Lady’s sad stories!

“Mom has a friend…Maybe we’ll use her.”

October 4, 2010 | Julie Hall

Margaret called me from a Chicago suburb with a frantic tone in her voice. “We have all this stuff, and we don’t have a clue how to get rid of it! It looks like it might be junk, but there are some antiques in here too. What do we do? My mom has a friend who is sort of in the business. She’s dabbled in buying and selling for years. Maybe I should just hire her.”

Her words hit a nerve! It’s sort of like saying, “My brother got an A in dissecting, so why not let him do your brain surgery?”

I strongly urged her to hire a professional, and warned her about letting an untrained friend handle something as important as this. But she decided to go to her friend anyway, a decision that cost her dearly.

A month later, Margaret called me again, in tears. “I’ve made a horrible mistake, and I don’t know how to undo it. My mom’s friend didn’t know the true value of many of the items in the house and sold them for pennies. One local dealer contacted me to tell me the estate person charged $75 for a fine antique English Windsor chair that was worth about $800. An antique needlepoint sampler dated 1854 sold for $10, but should have sold for several hundred. I am eaten up with misery wondering how many other things got sold for next to nothing.”

Please get the right kind of help! Unscrupulous professionals come out of the woodwork at a time of crisis. Amateurs, even though they are friends or golf buddies or play bridge with you, are still amateurs! It may be costly to hire the right professional, but an amateur is much more “costly” in the end.

7 Estate Tips for You This Fall

September 6, 2010 | Julie Hall

Now that school is back in session and Labor Day is over, it’s time for us all to get back into our routines which we abandoned in the heat of the summer. Here are 7 tips that I want you to add to your routine this fall and winter.

Make sure you and your spouse have a Will/Trust/legal documents. Better than 50% of us don’t have one, leaving our heirs to fight and “guess” our wishes and intentions. Dissolving an estate is not the time for guesswork
Make sure someone knows the location of these legal and other important papers, such as life insurance, financial information, as well as computer passwords and keys to safe deposit box.
Simplify your estate by starting to get rid of your own stuff now. Clean out the garage, attic, and closets — we have too much stuff! By doing this now, your kids won’t be angry with you later for leaving them a big mess. We only use the same 20% of what we have anyway … Reduce!
If something new comes into the house, two things have to exit, whether it be for charity, selling it, etc. Avoid the clutter that comes from constant buying. Think “simple and easy.”
Have that courageous conversation with your spouse or children (if they are old enough). Tell them your wishes for the future, then go the distance and document all this so they have a guidance system when the time comes.
Consider gifting heirlooms and other important items while you are still living. This minimizes future fighting, and you have the joy of seeing the recipient’s face when they receive their gift.
Always hire a personal property appraiser for items of value in your own home or your loved one’s estate. Only then can equitable distribution take place.

Next week, I’ll give you 6 tips for your parents’ estates.

Three More Important Tips for Personal Property

July 5, 2010 | Julie Hall

We’re continuing our discussion of important tips for dealing with personal property in an estate. Here are the final three tips:

3. Just because it is old doesn’t mean it is valuable. This is my personal mantra. Each day, I must face clients and report the truth based on facts. Depression glass may have been the rage 12 years ago, but today the market is pretty flat, much like the beloved Hummel figurines of mother’s day. It’s important to understand the distinction between monetary and sentimental value. If great-grandfather made it in 1865, it is certainly old and very special to us. This, however, does not indicate or equate to significant monetary value. It does hold value in the heart, though.

4. PLEASE hire a professional before you have a yard sale on your own. In my career, I have seen things thrown in the trash, dumpsters, yard sales, etc. that children put there or sold for next to nothing. In actuality, they were worth a small fortune! Knowledge really is power. Parents, consider getting your heirlooms evaluated prior to your passing, so you can leave this information for your heirs. Children, ask questions about the history of these heirlooms while mom and dad can still tell you. Discuss together the possibility of gifting prior to death. At the very least, mom and dad should document who gets what.

5. When using professionals in the industry, check them out first. Make sure they have no unresolved complaints against them with the Better Business Bureau. Ask them for professional references, and ask how long they have been doing this work. Ask your friends, neighbors, and other professionals if they can recommend estate professional appraisers and liquidators. Be very leary of those who “dabble” in estate sales or yard sales; you need a pro. If you think hiring a professional is expensive, you should try hiring an amateur.

Important Tips When Dealing with Personal Property from an Estate

June 28, 2010 | Julie Hall

When a loved one becomes infirm or passes away, the handling of the estate and contents lands on the lap of the heir(s). If the heir is prepared, it will go much easier than if they operate in a crisis mode. All too often, I see children who don’t know anything about the estate and contents. It’s like they are literally walking into a dark house and starting from scratch with no guidance.

Here are some important tips to consider if you are currently dealing with an estate, or soon to be handling one.

1. Don’t do ANYTHING until you know what it is and what it’s worth. Do not give items to neighbors, friends, family, or charity until everything has been looked at by a professional appraiser, or you have been advised what the best method(s) is/are to proceed with dissolution of the estate. It is well worth the cost to get this information. It will even assist with equitable distribution, thereby keeping things as neutral as possible between the siblings.

2. What is it worth? What someone is willing to pay you for it. It is not worth the dollar amount you see on the internet – that is only an asking price and usually quite inflated at that. It is not worth what grandma told you back in the 70’s, and the stories that were told by previous generations can be a bit stretched through the years. As with anything else in life, the value is contingent upon many factors, one of which is supply and demand.

Since so many china sets have saturated the market, and will continue to do so, what do you think will happen to the price? If the younger women want Pottery Barn and IKEA, and not grandma’s china, what will happen to these sets? The prices will continue to plummet. Always check with a professional appraiser first.

That’s enough to digest this week, but I have three more important tips for you next week!

Estate Etiquette

June 14, 2010 | Julie Hall

It’s an observation worth noting: when it comes to dividing heirlooms and estate contents, everyone tenses up and no one wants to be the first to talk. You can sense the apprehension in the room, and it appears as if everyone is trying to predict what the other will do. Will my sister make a fuss? Will my brother want the same things I want, and if so, what do we do? Will there be fighting and resentment?

From the perspective of this 20 year veteran who has observed many families, we should be more concerned with our own behavior. If every heir was in tune with their own behavior and had the ability to stay on the peaceful path, there would be a lot less fighting in the world.

When a parent passes, particularly the last remaining parent, true colors, a few fangs, and an entitlement mentality will eventually surface. Most feuds break out for four basic reasons:

A misunderstanding has taken place and has not been effectively dealt with
Everyone grieves differently and emotions can be volatile
A situation has been festering for years that probably took place during childhood and will now appear, causing all kinds of problems
An heir perceives he or she is being cheated in the distribution of heirlooms

How do you contribute to a more peaceful resolution? Check back here next week for four valuable suggestions.

Think Before You Throw – How to GO GREEN When Clearing Out an Estate

June 7, 2010 | Julie Hall

Do it for the earth and do it for your pocket!

Donating, recycling, and selling are less expensive than a dumpster and may provide cash for your unwanted items. They may also provide a tax deduction or help out a worthy cause. Use your imagination when deciding where things could go, other than black trash bags! Can someone use your items in some form or fashion? This is the ultimate in recycling.

Remember the following when cleaning out estates:

Have the neighbors in for free household chemicals, garden/yard tools, etc.
Create a donation network by discussing what you have to give.
Keep watch for charity drives in your community. Typically, TV and newspapers will run donation requests during the holiday season.
Web search for places to sell or donate items.
Gazelle.com, venjuvo.com, techforward.com and myboneyard.com all offer varying amounts of compensation for electronics.
Mygreenelectronics.com tells you where to find nearby recycling centers for electronics.
Paper, cardboard, and scrap metal are commodities that are traded. Find a buyer in your local phone book.
Scrap metal and other household metals, photo frames, etc. are wanted by artists. (If you take scrap metal to the right place, you can end up with some $$$ in your wallet.)
Charities are in a funding crisis; paper, books, games and toys help daycares, senior centers and after-school programs. Give them a call; they are happy to give you a wish list.
Alzheimer’s facilities are always looking for clean linens, towels, etc.
Many religious organizations/groups set up homes for refugees, domestic abuse victims, pregnant women, disabled adults, etc. They need many everyday items that you need to dispose.
Inventory the home before buying materials. Garbage bags, boxes, and cleaning supplies are normally already in the house.
Worn sheets and towels, leashes and pet bowls are very much needed by local pet shelters.
Remember, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure!

With my prediction of millions of households being liquidated in the next few decades, the very thought of the amount of trash the U.S. will generate is mind boggling. Do your part to help!

“Mom and Dad Left Us a Mess!”

May 31, 2010 | Julie Hall

Q: My mother died a few months ago and I am completely overwhelmed with the accumulated mess she left behind. Though I tried to offer help on many occasions through the years, she would hear no part of clearing out her stuff. I spend most of my days in tears, resentful that she left me this mess, squeezed between my family, my job, and her affairs. Do you have any advice for me to handle this daunting task? Can you at least tell others not to do this to their children?

A: You have touched upon one of the most important aspects of my work and of my public speaking. In my work, I deal with children every day who are flying in and out of town, trying to handle parents’ estates. The “Sandwich Generation” is caught between caring for our parents and our children, with not enough of us to go around, especially when geographically remote from either parents or children.

When I speak, I talk openly about accumulation, what to do about it, how to begin thinning out your stuff, or get rid of it altogether. Evaluation is the first step in any estate settlement process. Children are often in a crisis mode and don’t know where to begin this daunting task. Finding a company or person you can trust to help you understand the values of your parents’ personal property is paramount.

Once you are armed with that information, you are better able to decide what can be thrown out, what can be donated, what to keep, etc. Remember that knowledge is power. If you do not possess the knowledge to make these decisions, find a professional who does and can offer you objective information. This professional can also help you sell items of value, and clear out the estate. These services are especially valuable if you live out of town and have limited time to spend handling the estate.

Often I find my older clients have massive accumulations in their attic, closets, basement, and garage. The reasons are numerous and not always understandable. My guess is that they don’t know how to handle the accumulations either.

All too often, I sit beside a child whose parent has just died; they are angry that mom or dad left this mess, and they are grieving too. This becomes a double blow to their heart and spirit. If parents could see what I see, they wouldn’t do this to their children. How would you like to be remembered?