An Estate Find Tells the Tale of a Bittersweet Love

October 3, 2012 | Julie Hall

The colors of the WWI era postcard were the first to catch my attention. Postmarked 1918, the picture depicts a soldier in uniform holding the hand of a girl he was leaving behind as he heads off to war. When I flipped the postcard over to read it, their lives suddenly sprung to life.

Her name was Viola and she lived in Virginia. The only writing on the addressee side is her first name, last name, and the city and state she lived in. Your first thought, when looking at the simplicity of the card, was how complicated life is now in the 21st century, compared to a time when postmen knew you and where you lived. But after reading the postcard, perhaps their lives weren’t that simple after all. It leaves a lot to the imagination.

His name was Thomas and he was writing from Camp Meade. Apparently, Thomas was quite taken with Viola.

Dearest Viola, I guess you are somewhat surprised to hear from me. And although I am taking it upon myself to drop you a card, I hope that one day very soon I can hold your beautiful face in my hands. What a sweet and wonderful day it will be to see you again! I thought today that I had to leave for France, But I am still here for a couple of weeks before we go so please answer me. Yours, Thomas

What Thomas was really trying to do was get up the nerve to tell her how he really felt and that he wanted her in his life.

I wonder whatever happened to Thomas and Viola. During this time in 1918, WWI was drawing to a close but the men were still actively fighting. Did Thomas ever go to France, and if so, did he ever return safely to hold Viola’s face? Did he die valiantly while fighting for his country? It’s one of the myriad of mysteries we find in estates, and while it is hard to walk away without a firm answer, we simply fill in the blanks the way we would have wanted the story to end.

Thomas came back; Viola fell head over heels in love with him. They had several children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren; they lived to a ripe old age, completely devoted to one another.

In my mind, that’s the ending to this affair of the heart.

Live a Life That Matters

September 24, 2012 | Julie Hall

(Source unknown)

Ready or not, someday it will all come to an end.

There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.

All the things you collected, whether treasures or baubles, will pass on to someone else.

Your wealth, fame, and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance. It will not matter what you owned or what you owed.

Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will disappear. So too, your hopes, dreams, plans, and to-do lists will expire.

The wins and losses that seemed so important will fade away. It won’t matter where you came from, or on what side of the tracks you lived.

It won’t matter if you were beautiful or brilliant, and your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built.

Not what you got, but what you gave.

What will matter is not your success, but your significance.

It is not what you learned, but what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, or sacrifice, that empowered, enriched, and encouraged others to emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence, but your character.

It will not matter how many people you knew, but how many people will feel a lasting loss when you’re gone.

What will matter is not your memories, but the memories that live in those that loved you.

What will matter is how long you will be remembered and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn’t happen by accident. It is a matter of choice.

He Who Hesitates Is Lost

September 17, 2012 | Julie Hall

There’s no doubt about it! The market is crazy, and in my opinion, predictable due to the economy. While mainstream media has us believing everything is getting better, some of us have an intuition that may not be the case.

Professionals in the field of personal property will tell you that the market is soft. Prospective buyers are buying, but at lower prices than most people want to accept or believe, and the pattern of what they are buying and for how much is shifting.

You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to understand the trends and feel what’s going on. Many families are making serious mistakes when it comes to handling an estate and its contents. Here are some examples of what I am seeing:

1. Many cannot bear to deal with the estate from an emotional perspective, or experiencing sibling challenges, or the executor is not doing their proper job. As a result, the estate “sits.” As I mentioned in an earlier blog, that home becomes a sitting duck and a welcome for thieves. Another downside is that the home itself decays. A home is a living, breathing thing and when no one lives in it, it begins to deteriorate very rapidly and invites unwanted guests such as critters, plumbing problems, electrical issues, flooding, etc. Next thing you know, the value of the home (and its contents) have also deteriorated. I see this every day.

2. Missed opportunity. Okay, so the market isn’t so great. But it might be better now than in the future. Since we don’t have a crystal ball, there is no way to know what the future holds, but it isn’t looking like “top dollar” is right around the corner. Some families are storing items, and in the long run, get tired of doing so and decide to sell at the wrong time! They are just tired of dealing with it and who can blame them for that?

It’s important to note that many people feel if you hold onto it long enough, the value will increase. They may think traditional dark furniture values will go back up, or depression glass will once again be en vogue. It could happen, but I wouldn’t hold my breath – at least for quite some time.

My advice? Hold on to precious metals and extremely rare items that are authenticated by professionals. Let the rest go and lighten up your life.

3. Do not adore family lore. Most of it is pieces of the truth that have been exaggerated through the years, though the stories are fascinating! Family lore has us believing many of these pieces are worth a fortune, and more often than not, this is not the reality of the situation.

What to do? Holding on to stuff is eventually going to be like holding on to a cactus … very uncomfortable. It has a tendency to squeeze us into discomfort, cause family or marital strife, financial strife, family squabbles, etc. The solution is easier than you think … just let go! Your loved one’s memory is in your heart and mind, not in the things that weigh you down in life. Your loved one would never want that for you.

Admire … Don’t Acquire

August 28, 2012 | Julie Hall

Did you ever think you would hear that from an expert in personal property? It is an occupational hazard, being in estates all week long and handling the countless items I valuate, handle, and advise on. I love my job, but let’s face facts — we all have way too much stuff! It’s not hard to figure out — we buy, inherit, collect, and acquire things as gifts. Over the course of a lifetime, that really adds up.

A client I met with yesterday was a breath of fresh air. When I asked which pieces she would be keeping from the estate, she simply said, “Oh no, this stuff can’t come home with me. I’ll admire, but won’t acquire. My girlfriends and I are constantly reminding each other not to clutter up our homes.” And that’s exactly the trap we all get stuck in, but this woman was disciplined!

In my public speeches, I share my theory of why we seem to collect so much, and keep doing it even though we know we already have enough. Long ago from our early human ancestors, I believe we still have buried deep in our DNA the need to collect and hunt. Back then, it was for survival. Here in the 21st century, we just whip out the plastic and buy whatever strikes our fancy. There’s nothing wrong with treating yourself, but there is something wrong if we continually do it, causing debt issues and marital strife, because the house is getting too full and the wallet is too empty.

I fall prey to temptation myself, especially on Ebay, if I see a pretty piece I would like to have. I sit there and have a conversation with myself. “Do you really need this, Julie? No, you don’t. Yes, it is nice, but you don’t really need it. Save your money for something really special.” Lately, I have found that I am doing this more and more, and it does work. Not only that, but I am purging my own home, sending some items to auction and other items for a yard sale with friends in the fall.

In the next week or so, I will blog a little more on downsizing and the trends we are seeing in the industry.

Selling Residential Contents to Help Pay for Your Parents’ Care, part 2

August 20, 2012 | Julie Hall

In the past, we’ve talked about supply and demand, how the younger generations don’t want grandma’s china, crystal, or antiques. The market is getting flooded and everyone is trying to sell, sell, sell. So the prices go down, down, down.

The bottom line is you need to have a professional come out and look at what you have, so they can advise you on the best way to proceed on the dissolution of the possessions. There are good ways and bad ways to go about this. Find a reputable personal property appraiser to do a walk-through consultation. This consultation should include offering opinions of value in your region and in this market, advice on which resource is the best for selling the items, and if possible, what’s worth selling, what should be donated, discarded, etc.

Then, think about these options:

Estate Liquidation — Hire a professional estate liquidator who has experience, an outstanding reputation in your community, excellent BBB rating in your state, and who has been recommended to you by others. They normally charge 30-40% commission and this may or may not include the clean out of the home. The liquidator sets the prices but will often negotiate. A plan must be in place to deal with the leftovers or remaining items that did not sell.

Ask the liquidator if they are members of any professional organizations, credentials, certifications, etc., and then check them. Make sure they have no unresolved complaints against them. Ask for professional references and check them. If you cannot find a liquidator, call an estate planning firm and ask them for a referral, or contact us at Service@ASELonline.com (The American Society of Estate Liquidators).

An estate sale is not a yard sale. The best estate sale is one that has primarily the entire household full of variety that will attract buyers, plenty of parking space on the road in the neighborhood and in a good area.

Auction Company — The same rules apply to an auction. Check them out thoroughly. The national average commission is 25%, but make sure you understand what that percentage includes. Ask about pick-up fees, advertising, how long before paid, etc. The public pretty much sets the prices based on what they are willing to pay for the piece, unless you request a reserve price on a particular piece, but this tends to scare off potential buyers. Auction is an excellent option for many household goods ranging from antiques to farm equipment, if it is not a full house, if it’s located in a gated community, apartment, narrow streets, etc.

Consignment Company — The average consignment commission is 40-50% and most items will need to be sold within 90-120 days or you may need to go pick them up, or the consignment company can donate them for you. They set the prices and generally go down in price as time passes. Often you will need to bring the items by the store or provide photographs, so they can approve or reject each item.

Do-It-Yourself Estate Sale or Yard Sale — It is do-able, but a ton of work for not a lot of money, plus dealing with the public is no easy task. The good in this is that you get to keep the proceeds without paying a commission, but you need to know the value on items before you begin the process. You wouldn’t want something worth $1,000 to be sold for $10. It happens frequently.

Ebay, Craigslist, other online sites — If you have the patience to deal with these painstaking options, go for it. While I agree they have their advantages, you will need to know the correct wording and descriptions to get started and maximize proceeds. The fees on Ebay are getting to the point where people can’t even make decent money, not to mention having to pack it up, send it across the country, and then find out that the buyer is going to make your life miserable, because she doesn’t like it and wants a refund. It takes time, diligence, and patience. You could always pay a student to do this for you, but they won’t have the knowledge to describe the item appropriately, and what could sell for hundreds might sell for $12.

Classified Ads — Well, it’s an option. Sometimes they work and sometimes they don’t. You have to be willing, like with Craigslist, to let strangers into your home, and many do not like that idea.

Create flyers and distribute on church/temple bulletin boards, friends, and neighbors. Make sure you know what you have before you begin to sell it.

To get maximum proceeds from the items in an estate or home, enlist the help of a professional so they can steer you in the right direction!

Selling Residential Contents to Pay for Your Parents’ Care

August 13, 2012 | Julie Hall

Part of my job is paying attention to trends and values in the personal property market. We are seeing changes, not only in the marketplace and in values, but also in how families are approaching the selling of items/heirlooms when mom or dad require long-term care. They are running out of money because the high cost of care, and living so long, has taken its toll.

I have had an unusual increase in calls this year from boomer children asking me to sell almost all of the possessions in mom’s home because “we need to keep mom’s care going and we have to sell everything and we need as much money as possible.” Mom might be in assisted living, nursing care, in-home care, etc. and the costs are so heavy; the children are now turning to the sale of personal property to cover the costs.

Let me be the first professional to be honest and as open as possible with you. Families think the sale of the home contents might glean them $50,000 and this is far from the truth in better than 90% of the estates I see. It might surprise you to know that unless you have something extremely rare and extraordinary that can be sold at an upper-tier auction house, chances are very good that you will be grossly disappointed in what the sale brings. The average is $10,000 or less, and we know this won’t cover mom’s care for very long. The biggest mistake I see is people selling sterling, gold, and jewelry for scrap. First, if you have the luxury of a little time, do your research and don’t sell to the first person you go to. Compare. Look for a company as close to the refinery as possible. Secondly, wait until these metals peak again before you sell (if you can).

The children pull out the heirlooms, or what they perceive as heirlooms because they are old pieces, only to be shocked that the Victorian oil painting is actually very common for that period, or have trouble believing the antique walnut table that’s 150 years old is only worth $300. Believe it. This is what we are seeing.

Each day, my phone rings with people asking me to come to the estate and separate the junk from the valuable “antiques.” Today, many antiques are not worth that much and this comes as a shock to the family, who’s thinking they had a way to keep mom comfortable for another 6 months or a year.

Sometimes we do find treasure in homes, like the time I found three $25,00 vases in a basement. The family was overjoyed at this find and it helped them tremendously, but this type of find is rare. Sadly, some of these cable shows give the public the wrong idea. They give the viewer the feeling that what they have is valuable, but we professionals in the field know differently. True, you never know what you have until a professional comes out to look, but the majority of the time, it doesn’t amount to as much as you think it will.

Next week, I’ll share some specific options for disposing of your parents’ possessions to pay for their care.

From One Extreme to Another

July 23, 2012 | Julie Hall

What I love about my work is that no two days, or families, are alike. I recently worked with a child of an elderly parent who is “ready to get the ball moving and clear out the house now.” Not time to go through it much — just get it empty and ready to be sold. Why? Because he has a financial interest in the property and he openly admitted it.

On the flip side, I know of other children of the elderly who are painstakingly going through the estate to uncover (and even cherish) every piece of paper mom ever touched. I have seen people hug toasters claiming a special “memory” and even packing up her old coupons to keep, though they expired in 1971.

Somewhere there has to be a happy medium.

I have seen children claim they’re not taking much from mom and dad’s estate because their own houses are so full there is no more room and “my husband will kill me if I take any more stuff.” Then, when I go back into the estate to do my work, it has been so picked over, there is nothing left but donation items.

I have my own theories about why people have difficulty letting go, particularly the Depression era and older boomer children. But what they don’t realize is these items will one day become a monkey on the backs of their children. It’s time to give this serious thought.

The younger kids don’t want the majority of it; what their parents have done is pass the buck to another generation who doesn’t have the same appreciation for these items as their parents do. As a result, these items will find their way to the dump, Goodwill, yard sales, etc. And the child will be resentful that they have to take the time to deal with the stuff, because their parents never did. That is not the kind of legacy I choose to leave.

Best as I can figure out, they believe that by leaving more stuff, they are leaving a valuable inheritance in their eyes. No one can discount the value of sentiment, including me. But why are they taking a table saw when they’ve never used one? It will only take up a huge amount of space and become problematic in the future, sitting there with an inch or two of dust on it. By the time someone goes to sell it, it will be considered antiquated and obsolete. It’s only purpose at that point, will be as an anchor.

Keeping that in mind, I also find military medals thrown in the trash where they keep company with the family photos that have been tossed. If it doesn’t make sense to you, then you’re in excellent company. You just never know what you’re going to get. It’s all in the eye of the beholder.

A Lesson in Humility

June 25, 2012 | Julie Hall

Oh, how we all wish we had more money! Most of us are watching our money more closely, using coupons, and buying at good sales. There are some who spend in a thrifty manner and some who buy at high retail. Think for a moment, how blessed we are to hat least have money to buy the things we need. For the purpose of this blog, let us forget about the things we want, and concentrate on what we need.

My daughter and I spent time this weekend in a large homeless shelter that serves breakfast to about 250 homeless men. We were the new volunteers, and initially felt a bit awkward in this new environment. I think we also arrived with a “preconceived” notion of what to expect. Visions of dirty people from the street lying around, passed out from drugs and alcohol, filled my head. I silently wondered why so many of them were there and why they couldn’t get their lives together. Still, I wanted to give back and help instill in my daughter a sense of community and an understanding that not everyone is as fortunate.

About 20 volunteers buzzed around, each having a special job “behind the counter” setting up the food, juice, cups, trays, etc. I immediately sensed a hesitation for people to cross that line and be out front where the homeless people were getting lined up for breakfast. This hesitation, whether on a conscious or subconscious level, added to my trepidation about going out there and serving coffee among them — with my very attractive daughter in a room full of homeless men. This was concerning to me, but they needed two volunteers, and since no one came forth, it seemed life was pointing the way for us to do it. So, off we went to our new adventure. My teenage daughter and I went out there and served coffee and water to these men.

I expected these men not to maintain eye contact and was forewarned of this possibility. I expected them to take the food and coffee and run. I expected them to look down on us because we were “rich” to them. I expected bad attitudes and resentment. I expected my daughter to be creeped out and never want to return.

Boy, was I wrong. I suddenly found myself choked by both my own toxic thoughts, as well as humility that smacked me in the head. I was instantly humbled by their genuine “Thank you” and “We appreciate what you do for us.” I also heard “God bless you” and “Have a nice day.” Sure, I heard a few grumbles and complaints, but such is human nature. Not only was I forced to eat a piece of humble pie at that moment, but much like the Grinch, I could feel my heart grow three times as large.

And a miracle occurred as well. My teenage daughter, who is a good girl but rather “prickly” at times, smiled from ear to ear at an older man who told her to stay sweet. She told him, “Have a nice day. Sir!” I hadn’t seen her that animated and involved in a long time. And miracle #2? She can’t wait to go back! Wonders never cease.

My Favorite Quote

June 18, 2012 | Julie Hall

The Man in the Arena

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

— Theodore Roosevelt, 1910

I don’t think I could ever improve on President Roosevelt. Allow it to be an inspiration to you in your life. We are covered in dust and sweat, and we do try again and again to succeed. If those attempts were to cease, we would end up living a life of regret.

Don’t let that happen!

Keep daring greatly!

Beware of Snowballing Family Lore

May 7, 2012 | Julie Hall

I would be a rich woman if I had a dollar for every time I heard a family member tell the story of an heirloom in which the story gets bigger and better with every telling. It’s like the old parable, “The fish that got away was THIS big …” and every time the story is told, the fish miraculously gets bigger.

So too is the challenge we professionals have with discussing and valuating family heirlooms. I visit clients in their homes and enjoy each of them and listening to their stories. However, I know what the values really are, regardless of the verbal family stories. The hard part for me, and for the client, is providing proof that the following really took place: “Did you know Abraham Lincoln sat in that chair?” “This belt buckle belonged to Robert E. Lee.” “Our grandmother told us Teddy Roosevelt took a picture with daddy, but we don’t know where that picture went.” We know what these items are worth on a monetary level, but you can’t place a value on sentimentality. Sentimentality is priceless and in the mind of the beholder.

Could some of these family stories actually be true? Perhaps they are, but without provenance, or history of the piece (proof of some kind, like a photo of Abraham Lincoln really sitting in that chair), it leaves a question mark and is difficult to valuate. Without proof, we can only appraise what we see based on its’ characteristics.

I look back into my experiences with all kinds of families and wonder why most people seem to exaggerate about old possessions. Here’s what I came up with:

It’s their version of the truth as they see it.
For attention. (I have something special.)
To accentuate the positive.
To make the mundane more exciting.

Maybe Abraham Lincoln did sit in that chair. Or maybe he sat in one just like it and that’s how the story got convoluted. Someone heard what they wanted to hear, and generations of tongues did the rest.

I don’t want you to be disappointed when you go to sell these items and the prices brought don’t match the stories behind the piece. If your items mean that much to you, hold on to them and do your best to research the history of that piece for generations to come.